Is it possible to turn your life around at university?

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A.kaur2003
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#1
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#1
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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Joleee
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#2
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#2
may i ask why you failed to hand in three assignments?

well yes of course, speak to your personal tutor. would be good to know where you're standing, right?
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A.kaur2003
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#3
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#3
Thank you, I will speak to my personal tutor about it.
It's a long story, but I felt so overwhelmed by the possibility of failing that I just couldn't bring myself to do them in time and missed the 5 day late submission date which would have deducted around 10% of marks per day but it would have been better to hand in something rather than a non submission.
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phia17
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#4
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#4
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I’m in a similar situation as you, I didn’t manage to complete my assignments in time. At my uni, there is an option to submit exceptional circumstances in the case of late / non-submission, does your uni have this too? If so, you could explain how you’ve been feeling over the assessment period, your uni might offer you an uncapped resit in the summer (basically repeating the same or a similar assignment without a limit on the number of marks you can get). If there are no exceptional circumstances for your uni, you could speak to your student union / academic advisor and explain your situation i’m sorry i couldn’t be much help but I hope everything works out for you!
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emilyt5
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#5
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#5
This sounds like the best choice to me, if your university offers it!I've found that professors and tutors are often very understanding if you explain to them why you haven't submitted the work (i.e. you weren't just being lazy!) and show them that you would like to find a way to make it up. Sometimes, professors will make exceptions if you write to them or ask for a short meeting to discuss where you stand in the class – taking the initiative to do this shows your professors that you really do care. Remember, your professors are human, too! Even if they seem rigid or inflexible when it comes to late submissions and grades, there's a good chance they'll be able to work with you if you open up to them about your situation and can find the courage to ask for their advice and help
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mnot
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#6
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#6
Well yes its possible to turn around, but it will require a completely different attitude and mentality. You will probably have to find a way to motivate yourself and have a lot of self-discipline. When workloads get tough, you really need to dig deep and just get on with it.

So yes, it is possible, but only if your willing to change your mentality towards your academics and simultaneously put things in place that make you work and remove the distractions. It will take a commitment but only you can decide if your willing to make this.
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Saucy_Boi28
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#7
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#7
Although my situation slightly differs from yours. In semester 1 of first year I failed 2 or my three modules and and one of my three in semester 2, I then failed a resit for one of them again meaning I’d have to either do a repeat of 1st year or have a condoned module in 2nd year. I took that module to second year and had it in semester 1 again. It gave me so much anxiety because failing this module meant a withdrawal for me. My parents had high expectations of me but they were also understanding when I told them my situation and a lack of motivation and me being in a bad mental place in first year. It was COVID and the uni adjustment didn’t go well for me. As the oldest in my family there was a level of disappointment in myself for not setting a good example for my siblings but this is life and uni is also a learning experience for you. Struggling to adapt and settle in isn’t unusual but if your lack of motivation and anxiety is bad enough that it’s hindering you like so, I suggest speaking to someone who understands mental help so they can guide you. Right now you seem really confused and a bit out of your element which is natural, a mentor is sometimes a great way to help you adjust as well. Just speak to someone, bottling it up won’t help you at all.
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Mjf_xox
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#8
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#8
Hi A KaurUniversity staff are generally very helpful and student services may be able to help you if your are struggling. You only need to pass the first year as it doesn't go towards your end grade so you could plod on and try to pass or try to get support in place and repeat the year.As for you family, I'm sure if they knew you were struggling they would understand. If they don't know you are struggling, they can't help you and they may think you are not trying. If possible talk with them.Your first go yo is your personal tutor, there is help out there so keep trying. Good luck.
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thegame2.0
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#9
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#9
Hey, I can totally relate to this scenario as I went through a similar set of circumstances during my undergraduate degree, the only difference being that my family come from extremely low socioeconomic circumstances. That was my motivating factor to keep on grinding regardless of the toll it took on my mental health and how low I felt at the time. My best advice would be to 1. Talk to your personal tutor openly about your circumstances, they are there to help. 2. Check what mitigating factors your uni and course offer (if this applies). 3. Make a time management plan detailing how you will complete the rest of your assignments on time, avoid leaving things till last minute. 4. Seek support from your student wellbeing team. 5. Find something that motivates you to pass your course with great marks - particularly if this course that you are studying leads to a profession which requires said degree! Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report 3 months ago
#10
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hello it seems to me you have a number of different things going on. You talk about your family being successful so is some of the issue about your personal motivation for being at University or choice of degree. You haven't said why you leave your assignments past a reasonable timeframe for getting them done. Do you just put things off/ or do you feel you don't know where to begin or don't understand what the assignment requires. Certainly speaking to your personal tutor is essential as they may be able to offer both practical advice on your immediate issues and know what wider support is available. You may also find it helpful to talk to other students who you think are good at studying and ask what tactics they use. For example - do they break the task down so if you have 4 weeks for an assignment they allocate time each week to researching topic / reading / notes / planning and then in the last week writing this up. You could also link up with a couple of other students as a buddy group to talk through what an assignment requires so you get over step 1 before doing your own studies on it. I sense you have normal tussles with wanting to be grown up but also wanting someone else to take responsibility for things. You talk about running away so it may be helpful to think about what you want to run to? It may help to think about what you want as your ideal situation - as well as being realistic about your skills and aptitude's so with help you can decide if you can make your course work for you - or possibly consider another course or something different like a job with work based training, rather than just focusing on wanting to escape from something. You did succeed in getting a University place so you must have done well enough at A levels. It may be a student counsellor can help you with this aspect - separately from your course tutor. Sorry this is rather a long reply. If any of this is helpful I'm happy to discuss privately if you want. I am a mature student and can relate to a lot of your uncertainties. Best wishes
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Anonymous #2
#11
Report 3 months ago
#11
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hi there,

As someone who was in the exact same position 4 years ago, and now emerged from the other side successfully, I hope that I can help guide you a little bit. At the very least, this should help you feel that what you are going through has not just happened to you.

First let me give you some context of my situation:

I was in your position in 2017. I started university after taking an extra year to complete my A Levels because of very similar problems you are facing. I left everything to the last minute and I didn’t put any effort in to study and keep up with the demands of being a student. I also suffered from quite bad anxiety.

However, after failing the first year of sixth form, my mindset changed. I restarted sixth form at a new school and ended up completing A levels with good grades and securing a place reading law at a Russell Group university.

However, after starting my degree, I suddenly sank back into old habits. I pretty much spent the entire first semester smoking in my room and escaping from my reality. By the time exams rolled around in January, I had not been to a single lecture and had no idea how I was going to complete the assessments. I felt like a failure. There was no way I could fail this year and fall yet another year behind, right? Wrong. I went to my tutor and explained my situation and how I knew that I could do better than this and that I was not going to give up. The solution that was offered to me was this: I should take a leave of absence for a year and then restart my degree the following year. And that is exactly what I did.

Fast forward 4 year and I have completed my degree to a very high standard with only one exam left to complete. It has not been an easy ride, there have been other moments of failure and doubt. But I pushed through them. Even now, I am only just taking my final exam because I had to get it postponed due to struggling to cope.

However, does that really matter in the end? I don’t think it does. Not everyone is on the same journey and I am still going to graduate with a very good degree. You can do the exact same. And let me tell you, it is that much more rewarding when you have gone though hardship and you come out the other side. This is a brilliant opportunity for you to grow as an individual and make your life what you want it to be. Be grateful to the universe that this moment of failure has happened in first year, because it would be harder to come back from this later down the line.

Go to your tutor and explain your situation. Ask them if you can take a leave of absence and restart your course next year. But if you do this, you need to be brutally honest with them, your family, and yourself. You have to promise that you will do better and that you do want this. Even if you take time out and come back, you will be in the same situation this time next year unless you commit to change. It’s not going to be an easy journey, but being successful never is. You can do this. If I can, you can.
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angykay
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#12
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#12
You aren’t a disappointment or a failure , this is just one of the many overwhelming things you experience, you’re growing up and change is hard , harder than one could ever imagine, your anxiety is understandable and the pressure to be amazing or even adequate in the eyes of others is difficult. Take everything one day at a time, look for various things that can help with the anxiety- keeping a journal , having a weekly hobby/thing to look forward to. Reward yourself for the little things, do a little bit of work each day and reward yourself with something enjoyable at the end of it I.e. a tv episode. You’ve made it this far and the only way is up, some days are harder than others but you’ve got this and if you ever fail at things it doesn’t matter , God knows your heart , try your best and leave the rest.
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Anonymous #3
#13
Report 3 months ago
#13
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
You need to stop being so obsessed with grades, they are numbers which are infinite so if you are going of them all the time then you might not get very far. Stop worrying about the money as well because all you dk is learn from your personal tutor as much as you can and try your best. That's all you can do
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Kimberley Quegan
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#14
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#14
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
The fact you have decided this is a problem you need to tackle is progress! Don't beat yourself up about it, talk to a tutor and see about mitigating circumstances for the assignments you have done.

If you have any more uni work due in, split it into manageable chunks so it doesn't feel so daunting. Start the assignment 2 or 3 weeks before it's due in and do a few hours each day. Then, if you get stuck you have time to show your work to a lecturer for feedback.

Could you ask other people on your course for help? Do you all have a uni group chat. Mine usually has a lot of panicked messages and people comparing what they've done the night before it's due in, so at least I know I'm not the only one. Hope it works out.
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BobRossThe4th
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#15
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#15
(Original post by A.kaur2003)
My current situation is that I have failed to hand in three of my assignments for three of my modules all at 50% which means that it is likely that I will fail these modules. The main problem is that to re sit these exams in the summer, you are only allowed to re sit a total of 30 credits and I will fail 45 credits. Which means that it is likely that I will have to retake the year. I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about this possibility as I am afraid that I will be a disappointment to my family as I have spent their hard-earned money on tuition and accommodation fees. My only option is to speak to my personal academic tutor and receive some guidance on what to do which is likely to result in me failing 1st year or just try my best with the rest of my module assignments and face the reality that I was not able to handle the demands of being a university student. I feel like I am going to break down and I am afraid of the humiliation I am going to face as many people will endure harder circumstances and still manage to get their work done. I come from a family of successful people, and I am always failing everything I do. This is my fault, and I do not expect pity, but I am at such a huge loss for words that all I can bring myself to do is write my situation. There is a possibility that one day I will look back at this situation and see how far I have come, but this may be wish-fulfillment or another way to avoid the situation (It is 5:am and I have not even started my assignment, worth 50% of the module, that is due in at 4pm) All I do is run away and avoid the realities of being a student and adult. I really want to make a change in my life, but I cannot bring myself to, I do not know what to do or where to start but I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Now, it sounds to me (I'm no expert, just speaking from experience), that you've got a fair few mental health issues going on what you've said.

Number 1 is your fear of being a disappointment to your family. Living with that kind of fear is no way to live at all, and even worse is that it can be self sabotaging. Fear, especially that kind, simply takes over your mind until it's hard to think about anything other than it. If i was you, i would talk it through with your parents, or your GP who might refer you to a therapist, because keeping it to yourself will only serve as an echo chamber for it.

Number 2 is your fear that you may not be able to face the reality of being a University student. Until you get a clear head and get your fears and anxieties sorted, you can't know. I was in a similar position in college. I truly questioned whether academic work was for me, but after my mental health issues resulted in a breakdown, I couldn't bottle it up anymore. I finally got help in dealing with them. The next year, I went from getting the bare minimum grades, to getting the highest grades possible. The point is, you never know whether your capable until you can sit down, and can focus on your work with no fears creeping into your mind, and see how you do. Then and only then can you know.

Number 3 is your concern that because other people come from harder backgrounds and can do it, your going to be humiliated if you can't. Let me explain something, comparing yourself to others and worrying about what others think is not a good way to go through life. Focus on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but the more you concern yourself with others, the less your going to be able to focus on yourself. Each person has there own unique circumstances and most of them might not have gone through the same challenges you have. Not only is it a bad idea to try comparing yourself to others, but there's no way to make a reasonable comparison. A person of sound mental health from a poor background can do better than a person of poor mental health from a rich background. It's entirely normal and nothing to be humiliated about.

Now the best way to deal with these issues is to talk. Talk with family, talk with your PAT, or if your feeling like your on the verge of having a breakdown, talk to your GP. Now I don't know which option is best for you, just as long as you talk to someone. Only you know what your family is like to talk to, your PAT can help you more so with the academic options available to you, and your GP can help you more so with the state of you mental health. The GP can even offer a therapist to talk to. As I say, just as long as you talk to someone. Getting your mental health in order should be your first concern.

As for your situation with not having submitted anything, it's always best to submit something. At my university, one of my lecturers said it best. "Submit something. It doesn't matter if it's a word document with the words hello on it. Ideally try not to do that, but you get the idea. Something submitted goes down, at worse, as nothing of merit. This may entitle you to a referral. Nothing submitted on the other hand goes down as not attempted and you get no referral." Now i don't know if the rules are the same at your university, so maybe check first, but you would be better of submitting what work you may have done rather than nothing. Another key thing is addressing the reason why your not doing assignments, or at least leaving it so late. Could you explain a bit more as to why you've not submitted assignments and leave other quite late?

And if you fail this year, my advice is to go again next year. I know it sounds disheartening, but it's the best thing you can do. Life is not about succeeding the first time you try something. The majority of people hardly do. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another and still keep going.
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