old relationship. I feel so used.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#1
So, ill make this short. I was in a relationship for around 6 months, he broke up with me 3 days ago. But, let me start from the beginning. At the start we were good friends becoming best friends, we had good chemistry and it was so good. He told me he had a crush on me in March. I rejected him and said i didnt see him in that way, he then insisted that I be with him and kept making me 'come to senses' that we were perfect for each other. Promised me the world and so much. Said he would wait for me to make decisions and i finally chose to be with him in may and we had a relationship, i couldnt meet from june to the start of august due to family not letting me go out (strict stuff lol) and then this is where it went wrong. At the start of september, i started to get overthinking tendencies where i asked myself 'do i love him?' and that made me go into depression because i kept spiralling into these thoughts and i was on the brink. I went and got myself checked and i have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I lost my academics, I lost all of me. Then around October i started seeing drastic changes in him. He stopped communicating as much, i was begging for conversation and all the nice things he did for me kind of started to fade.. was so sad i wanted to make it work. Then rush to December and January, this is when i started to feel unloved and felt like i was begging. I told him last Monday that i feel like we are distancing and I feel like he doesnt love me. He thought about it for a day and said he wants to end it because he lost love for me gradually since September. If I hadn't asked him to he wouldve continued.. i feel used because just last week he asked me for nudes and stuff and that was practically when he stopped feeling love for me. He knew how much I trusted him and I feel so manipulated. I just hate what i did... I did some wrong things yes but 2 days ago i tried to get him back. He said he doesnt care about me like that, as friends, if i tried he would let me chase him and wouldnt care because he would live his life. That it wa fun while it lasted, he let things pile up and just didnt tell me what he wanted to change throughout the whole thing i was never once told about anything. He told me to lose weight too, ive lost my appetite now and i just feel so embarrassed.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#2
I wouldve done anything for him, i would've even given my life for him if i had to. I did everything i could. I feel like an utter loser.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
he told me we were soulmates, he said he would die for me, he said i kept him from drowning, that i was the mum of his kids, he would leave is family for me and i just dont know what to think? He made me fall in love and left me over "distance" and "alot of other issues" which i was NEVER, EVER. Told about. When i tried to ask him to fix it the day after the break up, he said he wouldnt tell me because he couldnt be asked and didnt care enough
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
Bump
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
someone please help
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username155270
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
he told me we were soulmates, he said he would die for me, he said i kept him from drowning, that i was the mum of his kids, he would leave is family for me and i just dont know what to think? He made me fall in love and left me over "distance" and "alot of other issues" which i was NEVER, EVER. Told about. When i tried to ask him to fix it the day after the break up, he said he wouldnt tell me because he couldnt be asked and didnt care enough
We feel things in the moment but feelings change love this pain your feeling is only temporary.

Tell him his D is small.

No.. don’t tell him that.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by xobeauty)
We feel things in the moment but feelings change love this pain your feeling is only temporary.

Tell him his D is small.

No.. don’t tell him that.
I want him back but I think he may never be back
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username155270
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I want him back but I think he may never be back
What are somethings you dislike about him?
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by xobeauty)
What are somethings you dislike about him?
How he kind of used me, disrespected me, how his personality changed over time from sweet to rude. How he never really helped me with my issues, went with the flow alot.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
(Original post by xobeauty)
What are somethings you dislike about him?
And never communicated with me ever about things
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username155270
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
How he kind of used me, disrespected me, how his personality changed over time from sweet to rude. How he never really helped me with my issues, went with the flow alot.
Then why do you want that back?
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
(Original post by xobeauty)
Then why do you want that back?
i miss the old him that loved me
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j25_8
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
i miss the old him that loved me
He’s gone and he’s also moved on 1) and 2) you can very easily find a new him in less than a week. He’s not that special
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EOData
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
i miss the old him that loved me
But that's gone - think of how he's been recently, acknowledge that you don't want or need that in your life and move on. You've only been together 6 months, that's not very long. Focus on other things that give you pleasure and satisfaction and do them. Your regret and feelings of betrayal will slowly fade and you will find someone else
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Sampada Gurung
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#15
Report 4 months ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
So, ill make this short. I was in a relationship for around 6 months, he broke up with me 3 days ago. But, let me start from the beginning. At the start we were good friends becoming best friends, we had good chemistry and it was so good. He told me he had a crush on me in March. I rejected him and said i didnt see him in that way, he then insisted that I be with him and kept making me 'come to senses' that we were perfect for each other. Promised me the world and so much. Said he would wait for me to make decisions and i finally chose to be with him in may and we had a relationship, i couldnt meet from june to the start of august due to family not letting me go out (strict stuff lol) and then this is where it went wrong. At the start of september, i started to get overthinking tendencies where i asked myself 'do i love him?' and that made me go into depression because i kept spiralling into these thoughts and i was on the brink. I went and got myself checked and i have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I lost my academics, I lost all of me. Then around October i started seeing drastic changes in him. He stopped communicating as much, i was begging for conversation and all the nice things he did for me kind of started to fade.. was so sad i wanted to make it work. Then rush to December and January, this is when i started to feel unloved and felt like i was begging. I told him last Monday that i feel like we are distancing and I feel like he doesnt love me. He thought about it for a day and said he wants to end it because he lost love for me gradually since September. If I hadn't asked him to he wouldve continued.. i feel used because just last week he asked me for nudes and stuff and that was practically when he stopped feeling love for me. He knew how much I trusted him and I feel so manipulated. I just hate what i did... I did some wrong things yes but 2 days ago i tried to get him back. He said he doesnt care about me like that, as friends, if i tried he would let me chase him and wouldnt care because he would live his life. That it wa fun while it lasted, he let things pile up and just didnt tell me what he wanted to change throughout the whole thing i was never once told about anything. He told me to lose weight too, ive lost my appetite now and i just feel so embarrassed.
The fact that he kept on insisting after you rejected him and then even telling you to "come to your senses" is a major, MAJOR red flag. It's also possible he was just using your for nudes and decided to end the relationship after he got what he wanted. However I don't really know anything about him so this assumption could definitely be wrong.
Anyways, my point is that (from what you wrote) your ex seems like a *****y person and was giving off major red flags. Next time ANYONE practically tried to force or nag you into a relationship, you BETTER say no because they're definitely not worth it. I know for a fact in the future that you will look back and think of him as a *****y, toxic person and you are so much better off without him.

But hey, we're still young and we still have a ton of learning/ growing up to do. So pls just think of this as a learning experience for next time rather than just constantly dwelling on the negatives. I know for a fact back when I suffered from depression that I would constantly dwell on the negatives of every situation. But the truth is, pretty much every negative experience can be turned into a positive. I used to be suicidal but that was the exact thing that made me recover - just having a positive mindset. We only have one life so we should all just follow our dreams and achieve as much as we can possibly can/ want to and think of everything as a way to learn something new (sorry for going off topic. I have ADHD so I can't help it)
Last edited by Sampada Gurung; 4 months ago
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username155270
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
i miss the old him that loved me
There’s a reason why they call the first six months ‘the honeymoon phase’. You see his true colours now.
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#17
thanks everyone for the replies. Im trying to move on, but every morning i keep getting reminded of him because i would send him good morning texts as soon as i open my eyes. Its gone now and he isnt ever coming back, im in so much hurt. He just doesnt care or miss me.

(Original post by xobeauty)
There’s a reason why they call the first six months ‘the honeymoon phase’. You see his true colours now.
(Original post by Sampada Gurung)
The fact that he kept on insisting after you rejected him and then even telling you to "come to your senses" is a major, MAJOR red flag. It's also possible he was just using your for nudes and decided to end the relationship after he got what he wanted. However I don't really know anything about him so this assumption could definitely be wrong.
Anyways, my point is that (from what you wrote) your ex seems like a *****y person and was giving off major red flags. Next time ANYONE practically tried to force or nag you into a relationship, you BETTER say no because they're definitely not worth it. I know for a fact in the future that you will look back and think of him as a *****y, toxic person and you are so much better off without him.

But hey, we're still young and we still have a ton of learning/ growing up to do. So pls just think of this as a learning experience for next time rather than just constantly dwelling on the negatives. I know for a fact back when I suffered from depression that I would constantly dwell on the negatives of every situation. But the truth is, pretty much every negative experience can be turned into a positive. I used to be suicidal but that was the exact thing that made me recover - just having a positive mindset. We only have one life so we should all just follow our dreams and achieve as much as we can possibly can/ want to and think of everything as a way to learn something new (sorry for going off topic. I have ADHD so I can't help it)
(Original post by EOData)
But that's gone - think of how he's been recently, acknowledge that you don't want or need that in your life and move on. You've only been together 6 months, that's not very long. Focus on other things that give you pleasure and satisfaction and do them. Your regret and feelings of betrayal will slowly fade and you will find someone else
(Original post by j25_8)
He’s gone and he’s also moved on 1) and 2) you can very easily find a new him in less than a week. He’s not that special
(Original post by xobeauty)
We feel things in the moment but feelings change love this pain your feeling is only temporary.

Tell him his D is small.

No.. don’t tell him that.
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EOData
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#18
Report 4 months ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks everyone for the replies. Im trying to move on, but every morning i keep getting reminded of him because i would send him good morning texts as soon as i open my eyes. Its gone now and he isnt ever coming back, im in so much hurt. He just doesnt care or miss me.
I know it's hard. I'm in the same position as you only after 34 years - he just came home one day and, out of the blue said he was leaving. Habits, songs, possessions, words....they can all be powerful reminders. You just have to keep on going, try to appreciate pleasure in anything you can - friends, clean sheets, opening a new box of granola as the best bits are always at the top, a child smiling - .and eventually things will improve.
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Reality Check
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
So, ill make this short. ....
Crikey - I'm glad you didn't post the long version...
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
(Original post by Reality Check)
Crikey - I'm glad you didn't post the long version...
LOL, it would've been like 3 pages
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