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Fermat's Last Theorem

Life's a funny old game. I visited a funeral parlour this morning on behalf of a good friend who was unable to attend because of Covid self-isolation and he asked me to arrange the collection of his late beloved Grandma...Gertrude Fermat.Whom was still sitting upright, but stiff as a board in her rocking chair by the fireside (he had managed to tie her to it with a pair of her surgical stockings)

Upon entering the front office of the funeral parlour, I was greeted by a Barber shop quartet who immediately began to serenade me with a rendition of 'O happy day's!Ending abruptly, the baritone of the quartet enquired as to the nature of my visit, and so I informed him of the passing of my friends beloved Grandma.So sorry to hear that Sir he said in a consoling sort of manner, and then asked “Is it just the one Grandma Sir?...Yes I said...oh that's a shame in a way Sir, he said, because we have a special offer at the moment, buy one coffin...get one free!

But that's not a problem I said, I really could do with a new shoe/boot storage cabinet, and the free coffin would be ideal as I could fit it out with shelves! Oh, he said (surprised I would happily be benefiting from the situation) and then with great disdain and consternation upon hearing this, he rejoined his quartet and began singing “These boots are made for walkin'...an' that's just what they'll do...an' one of these day's Grandma's boots are gonna walk all over you!!

So I left and popped into the Greggs next door. Bought various pastries...then went back into the funeral parlour and pelted them with sausage roll's, trifles, jam tarts etc; then left hastily when they began throwing them back!! Strange sort of day...But isn't it wonderful to be clinically insane!!

Reply 1

Muttly

I would say thats a normal day for quite a few people I know ...... and there's defo more out than in

Reply 2

Peter Bubble Car

Dichotomy of Time Axiomatic.
1st Verse.
Time is but a skewed quasi-empirical perception,
crafted by the awakening guile of humankind.
Whom have no appreciation nor comprehension
of the eternity between each moment within themselves.
Nor the ticking of the clock
nor the dilation of relative time
as we speed through the emptiness of nothing.
Which at the pinnacle of man's wisdom
is no more than a corrupt conceptualization
of those given to the conjecture of reality.
Just blink my friend
The answer lies therein.

2nd Verse.
Tit bang wallop, tit bang wallop,
if you can't afford a fish...
Then you ought to buy a scallop!!