advice needed please :) I promise I’m not a troll

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
hellowwww, hope whoever’s reading this is well! I’m kind of scared to post this but eh

Okay basically, I’m short, I don’t exactly mind bc it’s whatever. But I was walking to my lesson the other day and these guys from my year who are behind me kept making remarks about it which I ignored, they were actually discussing this between themselves btw. And then one of them goes “oh yeah she’s so fu*kable bc she’s so small”. There was more said but I don’t wanna go into it, I didn’t know what to say but I kind of felt embarrassed and just went to class, I just felt really uncomfortable and a little disgusting

After class and stuff I went to the bathroom and I was with my friend, I was just sorting myself out looking in the mirror and stuff and she starts complimenting me, calling me cute, and starts saying stuff like “hourglass figure” (which isn’t even true lol) but basically she was just being nice. I kind of just cover my face n shy away, and laughingly tell her to stop bc I’m a little embarrassed atp, tbh I’m just very awkward at taking compliments, and very reserved too. But then she goes onto say “your future husband’s gonna be so lucky” and she started sexualising my body and stuff too, I’d rather not repeat the other stuff. Idk I felt really weird and didn’t know how to tell her to stop, so kind of just covered my face. I had another friend standing there too making comments, I just felt v uncomfy

Ik she didn’t mean any harm and I’m not mad at her, but I’m tired of other people sexualising my height, I get very uncomfortable but I don’t exactly know how to tell them to stop. Especially weird guys from my year.
How do I get this to stop? I’m not the most confident or outgoing person either, so idk whether to confront them, that will probably make me even more nervous

I promise I’m not trolling - but I get why people might think I am , esp since sm of the posts on tsr nowadays have been so odd. But anyways, any advice will be appreciated
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Tambler
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
hellowwww, hope whoever’s reading this is well! I’m kind of scared to post this but eh

Okay basically, I’m short, I don’t exactly mind bc it’s whatever. But I was walking to my lesson the other day and these guys from my year who are behind me kept making remarks about it which I ignored, they were actually discussing this between themselves btw. And then one of them goes “oh yeah she’s so fu*kable bc she’s so small”. There was more said but I don’t wanna go into it, I didn’t know what to say but I kind of felt embarrassed and just went to class, I just felt really uncomfortable and a little disgusting

After class and stuff I went to the bathroom and I was with my friend, I was just sorting myself out looking in the mirror and stuff and she starts complimenting me, calling me cute, and starts saying stuff like “hourglass figure” (which isn’t even true lol) but basically she was just being nice. I kind of just cover my face n shy away, and laughingly tell her to stop bc I’m a little embarrassed atp, tbh I’m just very awkward at taking compliments, and very reserved too. But then she goes onto say “your future husband’s gonna be so lucky” and she started sexualising my body and stuff too, I’d rather not repeat the other stuff. Idk I felt really weird and didn’t know how to tell her to stop, so kind of just covered my face. I had another friend standing there too making comments, I just felt v uncomfy

Ik she didn’t mean any harm and I’m not mad at her, but I’m tired of other people sexualising my height, I get very uncomfortable but I don’t exactly know how to tell them to stop. Especially weird guys from my year.
How do I get this to stop? I’m not the most confident or outgoing person either, so idk whether to confront them, that will probably make me even more nervous

I promise I’m not trolling - but I get why people might think I am , esp since sm of the posts on tsr nowadays have been so odd. But anyways, any advice will be appreciated
I’m sorry that you had to experience that, people can be pretty disgusting in what they say and do. I’m probably not the most qualified to give advice on this, but I something I thought I would say is that our culture nowadays is so infatuated with sex that it seems like the majority of younger people are obsessed with it and it often leads to these bad things like sexualizing women. I’m a guy, and I know that a few years ago I probably would have been the type to say things like that, as awful as that is. But since then I have become a Christian, and I no longer desire to do things like that, and frankly I’m kind of disgusted that I ever did. I don’t know what you know about Jesus and Christianity, and I know this may seem unrelated but if you will, please hear me out because this has been life changing for me. All of us are sinners, and we have fallen short of God’s glory, and we all sin, doing horrible wicked things that are offensive to God and often hurt others, like what those guys did in saying those things about you. We all lie, steal, lust, have sex out of marriage, idolize God’s good gifts or the things He has created, use God’s name in vain, and do many other bad things like these. We tend to not think of these as a big deal, but in God’s eyes they are very serious, as God gives us the death penalty for sin, eternal hell. We all deserve to go to hell because of our sins, which is a very scary and sobering fact. But not only is God just, He is also loving and merciful and kind, and in His mercy, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. When Jesus was on the cross, all of God’s just and holy wrath against sin was poured out on Him, so that all who repent of their sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will be saved. Jesus raised from the dead three days after his crucifixion, defeating death. So now by repenting (that is turning from our sins and turning to God) and believing and trusting in Jesus Christ, we can be saved. This may seem random or far fetched, but it is true, and the reason I wrote this and tell people this is because I care about them and I want them to be saved. I know that people can do these horrible things, because I used to (and unfortunately I sometimes still do awful things that I now hate), but I also know that God is capable of saving and changing anyone, because if He can save me, no one is too bad for his grace. When people say these things, keep in mind that they are sinners too and although this is no excuse for what they are doing, it is also not an excuse to not love them. Obviously, take whatever steps necessary to stay away from them if you feel threatened, but keep in mind that even though people say sexualizing things about you, it doesn’t mean that what they say about you is true. There is nothing sexual about height. I guess you could try asking them to stop or maybe just having a conversation with them about it and telling them that it makes you uncomfortable. Sorry if this was not the most on topic or helpful, I’m not the best at giving advice. God bless
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JAckieee.chan
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#3
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#3
And how tall are you??
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fanofeverything
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Tambler)
I’m sorry that you had to experience that, people can be pretty disgusting in what they say and do. I’m probably not the most qualified to give advice on this, but I something I thought I would say is that our culture nowadays is so infatuated with sex that it seems like the majority of younger people are obsessed with it and it often leads to these bad things like sexualizing women. I’m a guy, and I know that a few years ago I probably would have been the type to say things like that, as awful as that is. But since then I have become a Christian, and I no longer desire to do things like that, and frankly I’m kind of disgusted that I ever did. I don’t know what you know about Jesus and Christianity, and I know this may seem unrelated but if you will, please hear me out because this has been life changing for me. All of us are sinners, and we have fallen short of God’s glory, and we all sin, doing horrible wicked things that are offensive to God and often hurt others, like what those guys did in saying those things about you. We all lie, steal, lust, have sex out of marriage, idolize God’s good gifts or the things He has created, use God’s name in vain, and do many other bad things like these. We tend to not think of these as a big deal, but in God’s eyes they are very serious, as God gives us the death penalty for sin, eternal hell. We all deserve to go to hell because of our sins, which is a very scary and sobering fact. But not only is God just, He is also loving and merciful and kind, and in His mercy, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. When Jesus was on the cross, all of God’s just and holy wrath against sin was poured out on Him, so that all who repent of their sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will be saved. Jesus raised from the dead three days after his crucifixion, defeating death. So now by repenting (that is turning from our sins and turning to God) and believing and trusting in Jesus Christ, we can be saved. This may seem random or far fetched, but it is true, and the reason I wrote this and tell people this is because I care about them and I want them to be saved. I know that people can do these horrible things, because I used to (and unfortunately I sometimes still do awful things that I now hate), but I also know that God is capable of saving and changing anyone, because if He can save me, no one is too bad for his grace. When people say these things, keep in mind that they are sinners too and although this is no excuse for what they are doing, it is also not an excuse to not love them. Obviously, take whatever steps necessary to stay away from them if you feel threatened, but keep in mind that even though people say sexualizing things about you, it doesn’t mean that what they say about you is true. There is nothing sexual about height. I guess you could try asking them to stop or maybe just having a conversation with them about it and telling them that it makes you uncomfortable. Sorry if this was not the most on topic or helpful, I’m not the best at giving advice. God bless
hey would you like to be friends with me lol. i was thinking ab making friends in the UK (that are hopefullyyy Christian) and, i stumbled across you
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Surnia
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#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
hellowwww, hope whoever’s reading this is well! I’m kind of scared to post this but eh

Okay basically, I’m short, I don’t exactly mind bc it’s whatever. But I was walking to my lesson the other day and these guys from my year who are behind me kept making remarks about it which I ignored, they were actually discussing this between themselves btw. And then one of them goes “oh yeah she’s so fu*kable bc she’s so small”. There was more said but I don’t wanna go into it, I didn’t know what to say but I kind of felt embarrassed and just went to class, I just felt really uncomfortable and a little disgusting

After class and stuff I went to the bathroom and I was with my friend, I was just sorting myself out looking in the mirror and stuff and she starts complimenting me, calling me cute, and starts saying stuff like “hourglass figure” (which isn’t even true lol) but basically she was just being nice. I kind of just cover my face n shy away, and laughingly tell her to stop bc I’m a little embarrassed atp, tbh I’m just very awkward at taking compliments, and very reserved too. But then she goes onto say “your future husband’s gonna be so lucky” and she started sexualising my body and stuff too, I’d rather not repeat the other stuff. Idk I felt really weird and didn’t know how to tell her to stop, so kind of just covered my face. I had another friend standing there too making comments, I just felt v uncomfy

Ik she didn’t mean any harm and I’m not mad at her, but I’m tired of other people sexualising my height, I get very uncomfortable but I don’t exactly know how to tell them to stop. Especially weird guys from my year.
How do I get this to stop? I’m not the most confident or outgoing person either, so idk whether to confront them, that will probably make me even more nervous

I promise I’m not trolling - but I get why people might think I am , esp since sm of the posts on tsr nowadays have been so odd. But anyways, any advice will be appreciated
You need to have the confidence to stand up for yourself. Don't like comments from a friend? Tell her, she's a friend and shouldn't be offended by this; if she is, she's the wrong person to be with.

Either tell the boys to stopand give them an ultimatum that you'll take it further, or just report them straight away for their comments. Try and have someone with you when you walk between lessons or are on a break; safety in numbers and make sure its someone who will back you up at the time and will be a witness if you tell staff what is going on.

As to how you handle the boys, you can try telling them straight to stop, or turn it back on them ('you're just jealous cos you're not sexy' kind of thing). I found the latter worked when I got bullied at school. When it was over clothes, I told them my parents couldn't afford expensive stuff (true); when it was the size of my nose I told them I'd been dropped on my face as a baby in hospital (lie) but it shocked them into stopping and they started being friendly!
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AmIReallyHere
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by fanofeverything)
hey would you like to be friends with me lol. i was thinking ab making friends in the UK (that are hopefullyyy Christian) and, i stumbled across you
Bit disrespectful to try and find friends while the OP is sharing their story? Private Message them instead.

I could only mimic what Surnia has said to be honest, good luck with the situation - sorry this has happened!
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by Tambler)
I’m sorry that you had to experience that, people can be pretty disgusting in what they say and do. I’m probably not the most qualified to give advice on this, but I something I thought I would say is that our culture nowadays is so infatuated with sex that it seems like the majority of younger people are obsessed with it and it often leads to these bad things like sexualizing women. I’m a guy, and I know that a few years ago I probably would have been the type to say things like that, as awful as that is. But since then I have become a Christian, and I no longer desire to do things like that, and frankly I’m kind of disgusted that I ever did. I don’t know what you know about Jesus and Christianity, and I know this may seem unrelated but if you will, please hear me out because this has been life changing for me. All of us are sinners, and we have fallen short of God’s glory, and we all sin, doing horrible wicked things that are offensive to God and often hurt others, like what those guys did in saying those things about you. We all lie, steal, lust, have sex out of marriage, idolize God’s good gifts or the things He has created, use God’s name in vain, and do many other bad things like these. We tend to not think of these as a big deal, but in God’s eyes they are very serious, as God gives us the death penalty for sin, eternal hell. We all deserve to go to hell because of our sins, which is a very scary and sobering fact. But not only is God just, He is also loving and merciful and kind, and in His mercy, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. When Jesus was on the cross, all of God’s just and holy wrath against sin was poured out on Him, so that all who repent of their sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will be saved. Jesus raised from the dead three days after his crucifixion, defeating death. So now by repenting (that is turning from our sins and turning to God) and believing and trusting in Jesus Christ, we can be saved. This may seem random or far fetched, but it is true, and the reason I wrote this and tell people this is because I care about them and I want them to be saved. I know that people can do these horrible things, because I used to (and unfortunately I sometimes still do awful things that I now hate), but I also know that God is capable of saving and changing anyone, because if He can save me, no one is too bad for his grace. When people say these things, keep in mind that they are sinners too and although this is no excuse for what they are doing, it is also not an excuse to not love them. Obviously, take whatever steps necessary to stay away from them if you feel threatened, but keep in mind that even though people say sexualizing things about you, it doesn’t mean that what they say about you is true. There is nothing sexual about height. I guess you could try asking them to stop or maybe just having a conversation with them about it and telling them that it makes you uncomfortable. Sorry if this was not the most on topic or helpful, I’m not the best at giving advice. God bless
Aww I’m not a Christian, but some of these same ideas are followed very closely by my own religion too(im a Muslim). Thank you for this reminder, and for your advice and all your time!
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#8
(Original post by JAckieee.chan)
And how tall are you??
Honestly I don’t get why ur asking or what that’s gonna fix, but regardless I’m pretty sure I’m just about 5’0. So I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m thatt short tbf
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KA_P
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#9
Report 3 months ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
hellowwww, hope whoever’s reading this is well! I’m kind of scared to post this but eh

Okay basically, I’m short, I don’t exactly mind bc it’s whatever. But I was walking to my lesson the other day and these guys from my year who are behind me kept making remarks about it which I ignored, they were actually discussing this between themselves btw. And then one of them goes “oh yeah she’s so fu*kable bc she’s so small”. There was more said but I don’t wanna go into it, I didn’t know what to say but I kind of felt embarrassed and just went to class, I just felt really uncomfortable and a little disgusting

After class and stuff I went to the bathroom and I was with my friend, I was just sorting myself out looking in the mirror and stuff and she starts complimenting me, calling me cute, and starts saying stuff like “hourglass figure” (which isn’t even true lol) but basically she was just being nice. I kind of just cover my face n shy away, and laughingly tell her to stop bc I’m a little embarrassed atp, tbh I’m just very awkward at taking compliments, and very reserved too. But then she goes onto say “your future husband’s gonna be so lucky” and she started sexualising my body and stuff too, I’d rather not repeat the other stuff. Idk I felt really weird and didn’t know how to tell her to stop, so kind of just covered my face. I had another friend standing there too making comments, I just felt v uncomfy

Ik she didn’t mean any harm and I’m not mad at her, but I’m tired of other people sexualising my height, I get very uncomfortable but I don’t exactly know how to tell them to stop. Especially weird guys from my year.
How do I get this to stop? I’m not the most confident or outgoing person either, so idk whether to confront them, that will probably make me even more nervous

I promise I’m not trolling - but I get why people might think I am , esp since sm of the posts on tsr nowadays have been so odd. But anyways, any advice will be appreciated
Best course of action would be to confront them that you're not comfortable with this.
I'm sorry you had to experience this. It's disgusting behaviour, but they potentially don't know better. Hopefully confronting them make a change but if it doesn't, have you thought about telling someone with authority?

You're really strong and what others say don't define you. You define yourself We're here for you and cheering you on. Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#10
(Original post by Surnia)
You need to have the confidence to stand up for yourself. Don't like comments from a friend? Tell her, she's a friend and shouldn't be offended by this; if she is, she's the wrong person to be with.

Either tell the boys to stopand give them an ultimatum that you'll take it further, or just report them straight away for their comments. Try and have someone with you when you walk between lessons or are on a break; safety in numbers and make sure its someone who will back you up at the time and will be a witness if you tell staff what is going on.

As to how you handle the boys, you can try telling them straight to stop, or turn it back on them ('you're just jealous cos you're not sexy' kind of thing). I found the latter worked when I got bullied at school. When it was over clothes, I told them my parents couldn't afford expensive stuff (true); when it was the size of my nose I told them I'd been dropped on my face as a baby in hospital (lie) but it shocked them into stopping and they started being friendly!
I did try to tell her to stop when she was saying stuff but they both just laughed it off and carried on, especially bc i was hiding my face and was getting embarrassed.
But yeah I get what you mean, I probably need to articulate myself a lot more clearly too.

I can’t report them bc I don’t know any of their names and asking my friend to accompany me isn’t an option bc my lesson is on the other side of the building, she’ll probably get late to attend her own. Anyways I don’t think they’re gonna actually do anything to actually hurt me (hopefully), all they’ve kept doing so far is making weird remarks like that and saying stupid stuff. But I will try telling them to stop if this happens again, turning it on them also seems like a good idea! I’m just scared tho bc I’m not that confrontational, so idk.
Also I’m sorry about you being bullied, you didn’t deserve it! You seem very sweet!

Thank you sm for all your advice, I will definitely try my best to do this! Thank you!!! 💕
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
Bit disrespectful to try and find friends while the OP is sharing their story? Private Message them instead.

I could only mimic what Surnia has said to be honest, good luck with the situation - sorry this has happened!
Thank you so much for your time!! yes I will try doing that hopefully
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#12
(Original post by KA_P)
Best course of action would be to confront them that you're not comfortable with this.
I'm sorry you had to experience this. It's disgusting behaviour, but they potentially don't know better. Hopefully confronting them make a change but if it doesn't, have you thought about telling someone with authority?

You're really strong and what others say don't define you. You define yourself We're here for you and cheering you on. Good luck!
Aw this was so sweet!
Yeah I’m gonna try confronting them, I’m just a bit hesitant though bc whenever I try to speak to strangers sometimes my words don’t properly come out bc I get really nervous. But I will try to, definitely
I’m sure they know better bc we do have pretty frequent assemblies in form about respecting others, and recently one was about not making comments like these which aren’t appropriate.
I’ve considered telling someone with authority, but I don’t even know their names. Plus it’s pretty embarrassing for me lol and I’m kind of scared this whole thing is gonna escalate more than it needs to if I do, idk

Thank you!! 💓
And I appreciate your help!
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KA_P
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Aw this was so sweet!
Yeah I’m gonna try confronting them, I’m just a bit hesitant though bc whenever I try to speak to strangers sometimes my words don’t properly come out bc I get really nervous. But I will try to, definitely
I’m sure they know better bc we do have pretty frequent assemblies in form about respecting others, and recently one was about not making comments like these which aren’t appropriate.
I’ve considered telling someone with authority, but I don’t even know their names. Plus it’s pretty embarrassing for me lol and I’m kind of scared this whole thing is gonna escalate more than it needs to if I do, idk

Thank you!! 💓
And I appreciate your help!
Maybe write doing the things you want to say before saying them also it might be helpful to approach your friend before the guys. Also when approach the guys, maybe bring a friend with you for moral support.
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leninstar
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#14
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#14
its life man
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by KA_P)
Maybe write doing the things you want to say before saying them also it might be helpful to approach your friend before the guys. Also when approach the guys, maybe bring a friend with you for moral support.
Thanks, yeah that’s a good idea, I’m gonna try writing it down first and memorising it so I don’t start stuttering or smth.
Yeah igy but I think I’m only gonna say anything to her if she does it again, so I can tell her clearly then it’s making me uncomfy. I think if I brought it up now it’s just gonna create unnecessary awkwardness and I don’t want her to feel bad either bc ik she didn’t mean any harm but idk
But honestly thank you xx💕
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SyedHasann
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
hellowwww, hope whoever’s reading this is well! I’m kind of scared to post this but eh

Okay basically, I’m short, I don’t exactly mind bc it’s whatever. But I was walking to my lesson the other day and these guys from my year who are behind me kept making remarks about it which I ignored, they were actually discussing this between themselves btw. And then one of them goes “oh yeah she’s so fu*kable bc she’s so small”. There was more said but I don’t wanna go into it, I didn’t know what to say but I kind of felt embarrassed and just went to class, I just felt really uncomfortable and a little disgusting

After class and stuff I went to the bathroom and I was with my friend, I was just sorting myself out looking in the mirror and stuff and she starts complimenting me, calling me cute, and starts saying stuff like “hourglass figure” (which isn’t even true lol) but basically she was just being nice. I kind of just cover my face n shy away, and laughingly tell her to stop bc I’m a little embarrassed atp, tbh I’m just very awkward at taking compliments, and very reserved too. But then she goes onto say “your future husband’s gonna be so lucky” and she started sexualising my body and stuff too, I’d rather not repeat the other stuff. Idk I felt really weird and didn’t know how to tell her to stop, so kind of just covered my face. I had another friend standing there too making comments, I just felt v uncomfy

Ik she didn’t mean any harm and I’m not mad at her, but I’m tired of other people sexualising my height, I get very uncomfortable but I don’t exactly know how to tell them to stop. Especially weird guys from my year.
How do I get this to stop? I’m not the most confident or outgoing person either, so idk whether to confront them, that will probably make me even more nervous

I promise I’m not trolling - but I get why people might think I am , esp since sm of the posts on tsr nowadays have been so odd. But anyways, any advice will be appreciated
So judgmental people live around not just u but the whole world, I would suggest you not to get crazy over those mads ! They can only harm u if u can't stop reacting to those, do not react like ur feeling awkwrd or something like that not even a single emotion should be shown to them show ur attitude in a +ve manner and be a straight forward girl stay humble Afterall because they'll change or they'll stop doing so and we are all shaped by the almighty god! And that can't be changed and if they are ur friends or mates tell them that they aren't judging u they're judging the creator which is so bad Afterall they're judging the creator [The God]
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KA_P
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, yeah that’s a good idea, I’m gonna try writing it down first and memorising it so I don’t start stuttering or smth.
Yeah igy but I think I’m only gonna say anything to her if she does it again, so I can tell her clearly then it’s making me uncomfy. I think if I brought it up now it’s just gonna create unnecessary awkwardness and I don’t want her to feel bad either bc ik she didn’t mean any harm but idk
But honestly thank you xx💕
Ah yes that sounds logical, good luck
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Tambler
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#18
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#18
(Original post by fanofeverything)
hey would you like to be friends with me lol. i was thinking ab making friends in the UK (that are hopefullyyy Christian) and, i stumbled across you
Well I don’t actually live in the UK but sure lol.
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Napp
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly I don’t get why ur asking or what that’s gonna fix, but regardless I’m pretty sure I’m just about 5’0. So I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m thatt short tbf
if its the reason why youre making this thread its a fairly important aspect isnt it?
Either way 5ft isnt too small, if somewhat under average.
at any rate, teenagers can be *******s, alas it seems par for the course of growing up. Cant hurt to give them a piece of your mind on the topic though if its getting to you that much. Or, if so inclined, reporting them for sexual harassment. Thatll certainly stop it if the school takes it seriously.
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