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My gf pokes fun at my penis from time to time
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I've been in a relationship with her since past year and some months.
We've had our ups and downs in the relationship. It's been a while that she has put on quite some weight. I've never told her bluntly about it. She found out thru my search history on how to tell your gf to lose weight. To which she did not take it well and was angry at me.
Anyway this lead her to making fun of my penis size and calling it small. I've told her that's rude but her response was that I made a comment on her body so she can make on mine. Weight loss is in our control but penis size is not and I told her that. This just makes me feel *****y at the end of the day.
What do you think I should do?
We've had our ups and downs in the relationship. It's been a while that she has put on quite some weight. I've never told her bluntly about it. She found out thru my search history on how to tell your gf to lose weight. To which she did not take it well and was angry at me.
Anyway this lead her to making fun of my penis size and calling it small. I've told her that's rude but her response was that I made a comment on her body so she can make on mine. Weight loss is in our control but penis size is not and I told her that. This just makes me feel *****y at the end of the day.
What do you think I should do?
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#2
You have no right to try and control someones weight, being heavier isn't a bad thing. She making fun of you showed you how she felt when you googled ways to tell her you dont like her body. You should apologise and realise you cant control people
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
You have no right to try and control someones weight, being heavier isn't a bad thing. She making fun of you showed you how she felt when you googled ways to tell her you dont like her body. You should apologise and realise you cant control people
You have no right to try and control someones weight, being heavier isn't a bad thing. She making fun of you showed you how she felt when you googled ways to tell her you dont like her body. You should apologise and realise you cant control people
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
This person is being ridiculous. While it is true that you cannot control people, you are allowed to ask for what you want and express concerns within your relationship. It was a bit careless of you to allow her to find that search before you were able to be straight up with her, so it is understandable that she felt hurt. I don't believe it was fair of her to insult your size and it indicates to me that she isn't the most mature, as mature partners would not pick on something as silly as that. Ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with that type of person. If your partner never really valued her health in the first place and that is something important to you, then maybe she wasn't the one for you anyway. That said, this is a minor issue. It could easily be fixed with some honest, thoughtful communication. It may be wise to apologise for the impact that you had on her. Don't feel obligated to though. Many people today like to treat weight gain/loss as something completely fine that should be accepted no matter what. I am here to remind you that if it is not what you signed up for, you do not HAVE to sit silently and accept it. You are allowed to express concerns. People that can't handle gentle criticism shouldn't be in a relationship anyway.
This person is being ridiculous. While it is true that you cannot control people, you are allowed to ask for what you want and express concerns within your relationship. It was a bit careless of you to allow her to find that search before you were able to be straight up with her, so it is understandable that she felt hurt. I don't believe it was fair of her to insult your size and it indicates to me that she isn't the most mature, as mature partners would not pick on something as silly as that. Ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with that type of person. If your partner never really valued her health in the first place and that is something important to you, then maybe she wasn't the one for you anyway. That said, this is a minor issue. It could easily be fixed with some honest, thoughtful communication. It may be wise to apologise for the impact that you had on her. Don't feel obligated to though. Many people today like to treat weight gain/loss as something completely fine that should be accepted no matter what. I am here to remind you that if it is not what you signed up for, you do not HAVE to sit silently and accept it. You are allowed to express concerns. People that can't handle gentle criticism shouldn't be in a relationship anyway.
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SupposedlyIronic
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#5
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#5
I don't know man it's a difficult one to be fair. Weight can technically be lost and gained yes but it's difficult and often psychologically tasking. I can understand her being defensive about it. Her response was immature but came from a place of hurt. Honestly you just need to talk calmly with her and explain all of this to her rather than us.
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Ciel.
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been in a relationship with her since past year and some months.
We've had our ups and downs in the relationship. It's been a while that she has put on quite some weight. I've never told her bluntly about it. She found out thru my search history on how to tell your gf to lose weight. To which she did not take it well and was angry at me.
Anyway this lead her to making fun of my penis size and calling it small. I've told her that's rude but her response was that I made a comment on her body so she can make on mine. Weight loss is in our control but penis size is not and I told her that. This just makes me feel *****y at the end of the day.
What do you think I should do?
I've been in a relationship with her since past year and some months.
We've had our ups and downs in the relationship. It's been a while that she has put on quite some weight. I've never told her bluntly about it. She found out thru my search history on how to tell your gf to lose weight. To which she did not take it well and was angry at me.
Anyway this lead her to making fun of my penis size and calling it small. I've told her that's rude but her response was that I made a comment on her body so she can make on mine. Weight loss is in our control but penis size is not and I told her that. This just makes me feel *****y at the end of the day.
What do you think I should do?
Last edited by Ciel.; 4 months ago
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
i mean i dont completely disagree but i think that the 'you can control weight' comment is a bad mindset to have. I dont think shes immature, she just found out her bf doesnt like her weight and even GOOGLED what to do about it. It really depends on how you interpret the situation, if she hasn't gained unhealthy amounts of weight then why is there a problem? if ur concerned about her health thats different, but sometimes people say that and mean what they really mean is 'i have a problem with you gaining weight'. Especially if its a small gain I dont see why its a big deal that has to be addressed. I agree that this could be fixed via communication
i mean i dont completely disagree but i think that the 'you can control weight' comment is a bad mindset to have. I dont think shes immature, she just found out her bf doesnt like her weight and even GOOGLED what to do about it. It really depends on how you interpret the situation, if she hasn't gained unhealthy amounts of weight then why is there a problem? if ur concerned about her health thats different, but sometimes people say that and mean what they really mean is 'i have a problem with you gaining weight'. Especially if its a small gain I dont see why its a big deal that has to be addressed. I agree that this could be fixed via communication
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concernedLMAO
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
i mean i dont completely disagree but i think that the 'you can control weight' comment is a bad mindset to have. I dont think shes immature, she just found out her bf doesnt like her weight and even GOOGLED what to do about it. It really depends on how you interpret the situation, if she hasn't gained unhealthy amounts of weight then why is there a problem? if ur concerned about her health thats different, but sometimes people say that and mean what they really mean is 'i have a problem with you gaining weight'. Especially if its a small gain I dont see why its a big deal that has to be addressed. I agree that this could be fixed via communication
i mean i dont completely disagree but i think that the 'you can control weight' comment is a bad mindset to have. I dont think shes immature, she just found out her bf doesnt like her weight and even GOOGLED what to do about it. It really depends on how you interpret the situation, if she hasn't gained unhealthy amounts of weight then why is there a problem? if ur concerned about her health thats different, but sometimes people say that and mean what they really mean is 'i have a problem with you gaining weight'. Especially if its a small gain I dont see why its a big deal that has to be addressed. I agree that this could be fixed via communication
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree with everything you said except for the sections in bold. You should never insult your partner. That is immature. Especially to insult them about something they cannot change. Weight can be changed but I agree it isn't absolutely necessary if it's a healthy gain. However, if he's losing attraction to her because he is not into slightly larger women, that's perfectly reasonable. He should definitely let her know rather than have the issue (and his girlfriend) snowball even further. People like what they like. Her reaction came from a place of immense hurt and she was probably projecting her own feelings of inadequacy onto him. Just a bit of a sticky one, really.
I agree with everything you said except for the sections in bold. You should never insult your partner. That is immature. Especially to insult them about something they cannot change. Weight can be changed but I agree it isn't absolutely necessary if it's a healthy gain. However, if he's losing attraction to her because he is not into slightly larger women, that's perfectly reasonable. He should definitely let her know rather than have the issue (and his girlfriend) snowball even further. People like what they like. Her reaction came from a place of immense hurt and she was probably projecting her own feelings of inadequacy onto him. Just a bit of a sticky one, really.
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#10
(Original post by concernedLMAO)
It's unattractive, irresponsible and very easily controllable.
It's unattractive, irresponsible and very easily controllable.
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concernedLMAO
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I swear you just posted something about how only poor people and children shop anywhere other than waitrose? You a troll?
I swear you just posted something about how only poor people and children shop anywhere other than waitrose? You a troll?
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#12
Take it on the chin and laugh along with her.
But when you try to stick it in her butt, she might quickly change her tune on how big it is!
But when you try to stick it in her butt, she might quickly change her tune on how big it is!
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