I miss my best friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I miss my best friend. We talk every day but it’s not the same as before. We both have exams and he’s started talking to girls so he’s a bit distant but I miss him. I’ve always been his girl best friend and after starting to talk to other girls, he’s started chatting with me less. When I spoke to him about it, he told me that he still loves me, trusts me and none of it has changed, but that he’s more busy with school and other stuff is going on. We don’t live close to each other and we haven’t called in 3 months. We still text every day, but it’s gone from more than 50 texts to barely even 10. I want my best friend back. I cry almost every night because I don’t want to lose him. Consciously, I know that’s not going to happen, but I’m a major overthinker and it always drives me insane. I’ve been in so many friendships where I’ve been ditched as soon as someone better came along so I panic every time a close friend of mine makes new friends. But my best friend has told me so many times that he’s not going to let that happen again, and that I’ll always be important to him.
I wish I weren’t like this. Why can’t I just let go of my stupid insecurities. Why can’t I just trust people. Why is it so hard for me to accept that people aren’t here just to leave.
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charly-john
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I miss my best friend. We talk every day but it’s not the same as before. We both have exams and he’s started talking to girls so he’s a bit distant but I miss him. I’ve always been his girl best friend and after starting to talk to other girls, he’s started chatting with me less. When I spoke to him about it, he told me that he still loves me, trusts me and none of it has changed, but that he’s more busy with school and other stuff is going on. We don’t live close to each other and we haven’t called in 3 months. We still text every day, but it’s gone from more than 50 texts to barely even 10. I want my best friend back. I cry almost every night because I don’t want to lose him. Consciously, I know that’s not going to happen, but I’m a major overthinker and it always drives me insane. I’ve been in so many friendships where I’ve been ditched as soon as someone better came along so I panic every time a close friend of mine makes new friends. But my best friend has told me so many times that he’s not going to let that happen again, and that I’ll always be important to him.
I wish I weren’t like this. Why can’t I just let go of my stupid insecurities. Why can’t I just trust people. Why is it so hard for me to accept that people aren’t here just to leave.
Babe I’m the same as you, I’m an over thinker. When I was 18 (I’m only 21 now) I was a people pleasure, and I mean I would hurt myself just to please others and I still am but I’m way more confident now and can stand my ground. 1) I don’t want to say you’re overthinking it because I do agree that he might be becoming more distant, but at least you both still talk everyday, as people grow life gets in the way, people realise what they want and go towards that, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you but you might not be in his new path if that makes sense. 2) if you’re not close distance wise he properly will gravitate to people he’s near which unless you really want that long distant person in your life is normal. We all naturally want people close to us. And 3) say he did stop talking to you, maybe it happened for a reason, maybe he doesn’t end up being a nice person or doesn’t make you grow in anyway or push you to be a better person. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy but I’m a firm believer of everything happens for a reason and sometimes you have to let people go. You’ll just end up wasting your energy and cause more heartbreak. I know it’s not that easy trust me I’ve had anxiety since my teens but sometimes you have to step back and and realise if he was worth it he’d want to be there. I hope some of this helped without sounding too mean. You’ll be okay whatever happens ❤️
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by charly-john)
Babe I’m the same as you, I’m an over thinker. When I was 18 (I’m only 21 now) I was a people pleasure, and I mean I would hurt myself just to please others and I still am but I’m way more confident now and can stand my ground. 1) I don’t want to say you’re overthinking it because I do agree that he might be becoming more distant, but at least you both still talk everyday, as people grow life gets in the way, people realise what they want and go towards that, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you but you might not be in his new path if that makes sense. 2) if you’re not close distance wise he properly will gravitate to people he’s near which unless you really want that long distant person in your life is normal. We all naturally want people close to us. And 3) say he did stop talking to you, maybe it happened for a reason, maybe he doesn’t end up being a nice person or doesn’t make you grow in anyway or push you to be a better person. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy but I’m a firm believer of everything happens for a reason and sometimes you have to let people go. You’ll just end up wasting your energy and cause more heartbreak. I know it’s not that easy trust me I’ve had anxiety since my teens but sometimes you have to step back and and realise if he was worth it he’d want to be there. I hope some of this helped without sounding too mean. You’ll be okay whatever happens ❤️
The thing is, it is the same but it’s not. He’s the kindest, most caring person ever. He listens to me, without interrupting, immediately drops everything if I’m not okay and patiently waits out any anxiety attack or meltdown with me, even if it’s till 2 in the morning. He has made me so much stronger emotionally, so much more focused academically and has helped me realise how a real friend is meant to treat you. But he’s become more quiet, less expressive and he texts way less frequently.
And I do think I’m over thinking. He’s busy, I’m busy, he’s got a life, I have too, I can’t expect people to only need to be friends with me. Plus, I’m his best friend, there’s only so much I can ask for. I know that losing another person that I let so close into my life will break me. I got major anxiety and insecurities the last time. I know he isn’t the kind to ditch someone just because.

Thank you so much for firstly, reading that entire nonsensical paragraph. And secondly, somehow making me see sense. I needed to rant and I feel so much better now. I’m maybe-- probably- definitely letting my insecurities and overthinking get the better of me and I need to shut it down.
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charly-john
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
The thing is, it is the same but it’s not. He’s the kindest, most caring person ever. He listens to me, without interrupting, immediately drops everything if I’m not okay and patiently waits out any anxiety attack or meltdown with me, even if it’s till 2 in the morning. He has made me so much stronger emotionally, so much more focused academically and has helped me realise how a real friend is meant to treat you. But he’s become more quiet, less expressive and he texts way less frequently.
And I do think I’m over thinking. He’s busy, I’m busy, he’s got a life, I have too, I can’t expect people to only need to be friends with me. Plus, I’m his best friend, there’s only so much I can ask for. I know that losing another person that I let so close into my life will break me. I got major anxiety and insecurities the last time. I know he isn’t the kind to ditch someone just because.

Thank you so much for firstly, reading that entire nonsensical paragraph. And secondly, somehow making me see sense. I needed to rant and I feel so much better now. I’m maybe-- probably- definitely letting my insecurities and overthinking get the better of me and I need to shut it down.
He sounds like a great guy, you don’t have to answer this I know it is really personal but do you like him at all?
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by charly-john)
He sounds like a great guy, you don’t have to answer this I know it is really personal but do you like him at all?
I don’t. I’ve always wanted an older brother and he’s filled in that gap in my life. But he’s younger than me by a few months so I’m kinda very protective of him too. I can see why it seems that way, but we’re just very very close. I trust him more than I would ever trust any boyfriend and liking him doesn’t feel right.
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charly-john
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t. I’ve always wanted an older brother and he’s filled in that gap in my life. But he’s younger than me by a few months so I’m kinda very protective of him too. I can see why it seems that way, but we’re just very very close. I trust him more than I would ever trust any boyfriend and liking him doesn’t feel right.
It’s alright it’s just hard to know as a stranger in the internet. As the oldest sibling in my family I also would like that older brother figure so I know how you feel and it will be comforting for you to find that role in him. I know it’s not easy to shut off over thinking, I know as I over think, but maybe just go with the flow and be open and honest. If you continue to feel like this talk to him about it. I wish you the best of luck
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by charly-john)
It’s alright it’s just hard to know as a stranger in the internet. As the oldest sibling in my family I also would like that older brother figure so I know how you feel and it will be comforting for you to find that role in him. I know it’s not easy to shut off over thinking, I know as I over think, but maybe just go with the flow and be open and honest. If you continue to feel like this talk to him about it. I wish you the best of luck
Thank you so much, you really helped!
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