my best friend copies me TOO MUCH

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777star
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#1
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#1
I know i sound full of myself but multiple people have noticed tooI don't know why but for same reason they've always been so obsessed with me at first it started with calling me pretty 24/7 and wanting to hang out 24/7 and always be with me (no exaggeration) and at first i didn't mind cuz i liked the attention - i use to be rlly ugly but what makes me mad is ik for a fact if i was still ugly she wouldn't even want to be my best friend/close like thisbut anyways after spending lots oc time together it got to the point where she would copy everything i did if i had a crush all of a sudden she found them fine when i made a new friend all of a sudden she wanted to be their friend if i said i liked something now she likes itbut now shes really started to try be me shes trying to STEAL all my friends STEAL all my crushes - as in start talking to them acting as if the day before she even cared about them and every time she sees me talking to a boy she comes and ruins it and she knows shes more extroverted and lowkey prettier than me so theyll pick herbut its mot even just that now shes copied my entire personality how i act and all my mannerisms and how i talk as well shes basically a clone of me she doesnt even have her own personality but again sinces shes more extroverted she gets praised since not alot of ppl know that side of her but to me its so cringe since ik shes copying me and rlly annoyingits gotten to the point i cant physically be around her cuz she irritates me sm but i cant do anything since now weve gor the same social circlesbut what i dont understand is that now shes stolen my whole identity she doesnt even pay me attention she always ditches me but cuz she occasionally comes back i cant rlly complain and its obvious im her least fav in the friend group . it feels like she only thinks of me as her backup friend but she still claims were besties.sorry for venting and any spelling mistakes but i rlly had to let it out snd please can someone let me know what it means i mean i guess sometimes we have fun but i just miss old her ig
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Muttly
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
Relax - People will be smart enough to see right through your friends behaviour and to see how insecure she is? Imitation is the best form of flattery, and anyone who knows you will see what is going on. It's really quite funny - not that you will see it that way because you have probably lost your sense of humour with all this going on. Be confident with who you are, and focus on that. Be comfortable in your own skin and ignore all the rest is probably good advice.

It's understandable you feel the way you do, but try and feel sorry for your friend. Their mindset must be so overwhelmed to have to totally worship the ground you walk on 24/7 (I'm sorry if this sounds like I am mocking you - definitely not) and the stress and intensity of not being comfortable with who they are; having to re-invent a personality and style (how hollow) You own it and no one can ever steal that away. So never worry. Just shrug and try and laugh it off. Not easy I know. Your kindness is a far greater weapon. It sounds like your friend may not be able to match you on that score because she just does not have the inner confidence to look outside her own needs. You can though, and this will attract you far more benefits in the longer term. Don't let one person rule your life - rise above it. You are far better than that.
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j25_8
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#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by 777star)
I know i sound full of myself but multiple people have noticed tooI don't know why but for same reason they've always been so obsessed with me at first it started with calling me pretty 24/7 and wanting to hang out 24/7 and always be with me (no exaggeration) and at first i didn't mind cuz i liked the attention - i use to be rlly ugly but what makes me mad is ik for a fact if i was still ugly she wouldn't even want to be my best friend/close like thisbut anyways after spending lots oc time together it got to the point where she would copy everything i did if i had a crush all of a sudden she found them fine when i made a new friend all of a sudden she wanted to be their friend if i said i liked something now she likes itbut now shes really started to try be me shes trying to STEAL all my friends STEAL all my crushes - as in start talking to them acting as if the day before she even cared about them and every time she sees me talking to a boy she comes and ruins it and she knows shes more extroverted and lowkey prettier than me so theyll pick herbut its mot even just that now shes copied my entire personality how i act and all my mannerisms and how i talk as well shes basically a clone of me she doesnt even have her own personality but again sinces shes more extroverted she gets praised since not alot of ppl know that side of her but to me its so cringe since ik shes copying me and rlly annoyingits gotten to the point i cant physically be around her cuz she irritates me sm but i cant do anything since now weve gor the same social circlesbut what i dont understand is that now shes stolen my whole identity she doesnt even pay me attention she always ditches me but cuz she occasionally comes back i cant rlly complain and its obvious im her least fav in the friend group . it feels like she only thinks of me as her backup friend but she still claims were besties.sorry for venting and any spelling mistakes but i rlly had to let it out snd please can someone let me know what it means i mean i guess sometimes we have fun but i just miss old her ig
If you’re the one doing it first and she does it right after then people will see that she’s just inspired by you. Why’s that a bad thing? I’d be flattered to see myself setting trends. I don’t think you understand that she knows she’s never going to “steal” your friends or crushes. She can try all she wants but in her mind she knows that she is never going to be you. You can’t really steal a friend or a crush in the first place - they will easily crush on or be friends with both of you at the same time. I know you aren’t necessarily trying to sound full of yourself but how could we not think of you that way when this is all we understand about you?

Anyway, maybe for your own sake you should just allow yourselves to peacefully drift apart. Then when that happens, she’s no longer a part of your life and any copying she does will not bother you anymore. You don’t seem like you’re willing to get over this even though she’s doing nothing wrong to you (your friends & crushes liking her more than you is unfortunately not her fault so long as she’s not mean about it), so because you can’t get over her copying you, and because she won’t stop copying you, you’re not compatible as friends. Normally I’d say communicate with her but this isn’t something that is even worth having a chat about tbh. It’s such a minor problem to begin with and she will probably just tell you she doesn’t know what you’re talking about. So based on that - just let her do her own thing and don’t take it personally.
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