Colourism in this generation and beauty standards

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I am going to RANT.I hate how young kids these days focus on their weight and looks.Kids with darker complexion are hated on and looked down and called "ugly".We live in a **** generation with such a high beauty stand that changes constantly.Kids getting bullied on because they look difference.Boys thinking they have a say on a girls body.This agitates me to the fullest.
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znne56yu7
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#2
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#2
no kid I've known in my 18 years of life cares how fat they are nor their looks unless you mean teenagers then yeah I guess but focusing on weight and looks at that age isn't a bad thing, in my opinion, leads to self-improvement those that complain about that are too lazy to do something about it, but yeah I agree with the rest,
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sufys
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am going to RANT.I hate how young kids these days focus on their weight and looks.Kids with darker complexion are hated on and looked down and called "ugly".We live in a **** generation with such a high beauty stand that changes constantly.Kids getting bullied on because they look difference.Boys thinking they have a say on a girls body.This agitates me to the fullest.
Young kids? It's only teenagers or those very close to being a teen who care about either of these things. Weight is unattractive- it's unhealthy anyway. These beauty standards have a benefit in regards to weight, as it makes overweight people try to lose it which is much better than the current obesity epidemic.
Darker complexion doesn't mean ugly and I don't think many people actually think that. Of course most people prefer their own race and most people are also white so it makes sense why they would prefer a lighter complexion.
Boys have a say on whether it's attractive or not. I don't see the problem here. It's much better to be realistic rather than idealistic when it comes to looks, and boys' views on looks should be important because they dictate the beauty standards for females.
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Lyonellez3
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#4
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#4
(Original post by sufys12)
Young kids? It's only teenagers or those very close to being a teen who care about either of these things. Weight is unattractive- it's unhealthy anyway. These beauty standards have a benefit in regards to weight, as it makes overweight people try to lose it which is much better than the current obesity epidemic.
Darker complexion doesn't mean ugly and I don't think many people actually think that. Of course most people prefer their own race and most people are also white so it makes sense why they would prefer a lighter complexion.
Boys have a say on whether it's attractive or not. I don't see the problem here. It's much better to be realistic rather than idealistic when it comes to looks, and boys' views on looks should be important because they dictate the beauty standards for females.
"Boys have a say on whether its attractive or not" Sorry but what does being realistic have to do with boys having a say on what is attractive or not when it comes to a girls body? It's her body??? The male gaze and the whole beauty standard thing as whole is problematic.
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Muttly
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#5
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#5
Just let all that hate and anger go. Please try. You can only control what you think and say and control what you do. Anger is so caustic.

I hear what you say and understand why you might feel like. I don't dismiss your anger but I cannot agree with all of your statements.
Not everybody is like that. Handsome is as handsome does and yes so many kids are not judged nowadays on behaviour and actions towards others, but rather their looks. Prejudice does exist and when people see acts that confirm their suspicions relating to expected standards of behaviour their attitudes become more entrenched.

Women in the UK have some of the best levels of equality in the world, yet still some men here have an issue with this and won't let women walk alone, work unaccompanied or let their daughters go out and play. The majority of trouble in some areas in the UK is where there is mob rule and bullying by local loud mouths to ensure compliant thinking within their group or 'gang' It is a hard place to grow up in. 'Kids' are often the most brutal bullying critics amongst their own age group.

We all have to be brave enough to shun the media circus but equally we have the capability to press the off button.

Who is brave enough to try to change this angry world?

I urge you to try and find a different and extended circle of friends. Experience life further afield. Shun social media and travel to every conceivable corner of the world when opportunity strikes. Base your judgements on real face to face interactions. I guarantee you will change your viewpoint and your outlook on life may change if you can gain greater perspective?
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Lyonellez3
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#6
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#6
Y

(Original post by Anonymous)
I am going to RANT.I hate how young kids these days focus on their weight and looks.Kids with darker complexion are hated on and looked down and called "ugly".We live in a **** generation with such a high beauty stand that changes constantly.Kids getting bullied on because they look difference.Boys thinking they have a say on a girls body.This agitates me to the fullest.
Yes, it sucks. Social media doesn't help either. Just know that you don't have to fit that beauty standard, be your own beauty standard!
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hungrysalamander
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#7
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#7
"Kids these days". You do know that it was a lot worse 50 years ago right?
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Honey57
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#8
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#8
People of all skin colours are beautiful BUT in this modern times I’ve seen that ‘tan’ and being ‘bronze’ is the desired skin colour for people. But yeah it’s a horrible time that kids as young as 7 concentrate on appearance so much. All girls should realise that they’re beautiful and should be told that to increase their confidence like how I was. I always wanted to be a blonde white girl but even though they seemed beautiful to me, I also realised that my skin colour and hair is beautiful as well, I was just different but beautiful.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
"Kids these days". You do know that it was a lot worse 50 years ago right?
Are we living in the past or the present? It is still a problem
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hungrysalamander
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Are we living in the past or the present? It is still a problem
Give examples someone being called ugly for their skin colour in this day and age. I have never seen kids being hated on for their skin colour, which is the main point of this thread. Weight is something that can be controlled to an extent and we shouldn't encourage unhealthy lifestyles. Literally no one about looks or weight unless it comes to dating. Boys saying things about girl's bodies goes both ways, girls say the same thing about boys.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
Give examples someone being called ugly for their skin colour in this day and age. I have never seen kids being hated on for their skin colour, which is the main point of this thread. Weight is something that can be controlled to an extent and we shouldn't encourage unhealthy lifestyles. Literally no one about looks or weight unless it comes to dating. Boys saying things about girl's bodies goes both ways, girls say the same thing about boys.
So because you are oblivious to it means it doesn't happen? I can confirm that as a dark skin girl I have most definitely in THIS DAY AND AGE faced hatred because of the colour of my skin. Just because we aren't living in Rosa Parks days doesn't mean it is not happening and just because YOU haven't "seen" or experienced it doesn't mean it isn't a thing. Very ignorant thing to say as if these things don't exist and even if it isn't as bad as the old days it is STILL a PROBLEM.
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hungrysalamander
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
So because you are oblivious to it means it doesn't happen? I can confirm that as a dark skin girl I have most definitely in THIS DAY AND AGE faced hatred because of the colour of my skin. Just because we aren't living in Rosa Parks days doesn't mean it is not happening and just because YOU haven't "seen" or experienced it doesn't mean it isn't a thing. Very ignorant thing to say as if these things don't exist and even if it isn't as bad as the old days it is STILL a PROBLEM.
You still haven't shared any of your experiences, all you did is call me ignorant. Kids will speak their mind, but most grown adults will know how to interact with others respectfully.
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kolme
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#13
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#13
I've never heard anyone from the UK or USA say that brown skin is ugly. Implying anything like that is very looked down on and good I guess. Completely different in countries where dark skin is a definite majority - that's where real colourism starts. I have heard though that my pale skin is ugly and I should go get a tan. Maybe try to realise that some people will always be ***** about anything, not everything is a societal problem.
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londonmyst
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#14
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#14
Most sighted people are very visual.
Appearances do matter a lot in terms of first impressions and how positively people are perceived by those who don't know their personalities or ambitions that well.
But is is crucial to remember that different people often have very different beauty standards, attraction dealbreakers and relationship preferences.
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KA_P
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am going to RANT.I hate how young kids these days focus on their weight and looks.Kids with darker complexion are hated on and looked down and called "ugly".We live in a **** generation with such a high beauty stand that changes constantly.Kids getting bullied on because they look difference.Boys thinking they have a say on a girls body.This agitates me to the fullest.
I think it's mainly to do with self-consciousness, their surroundings and the things they see, whether it be social media, TV programmes or the models they look at, including what their parent's/relatives'/teacher's views are.

I don't think it's anyone's 'fault', it's just the way we've been brought up, beauty standards, etc. Younger teenagers look to others for advice and can be influenced more easily.

It's a view that's been held for a long time in the past, we can't really complain about it this much. Change has happened. But you can't expect it to do a 180 overnight.

I think the most relevant advice to you is that no one defines you. You define yourself. It's up to you to get influenced by these views or not. Change starts at a personal level before going to a public level.

We can complain all we want about the things happening around us, but at the end of the day it doesn't contribute to any change coming about.

The part about you saying "boy have a say in a girls body" seems to be generalisation. A girl has strength to not let that influence her. I think the issue here is someone changing themselves to be more attractive to the person they like.
Last edited by KA_P; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
Give examples someone being called ugly for their skin colour in this day and age. I have never seen kids being hated on for their skin colour, which is the main point of this thread. Weight is something that can be controlled to an extent and we shouldn't encourage unhealthy lifestyles. Literally no one about looks or weight unless it comes to dating. Boys saying things about girl's bodies goes both ways, girls say the same thing about boys.
I live in the uk and have experienced hatred for being a dark-skin tone.Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.Everyone talks about weight and looks in this generation of teenagers...
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by sufys12)
Young kids? It's only teenagers or those very close to being a teen who care about either of these things. Weight is unattractive- it's unhealthy anyway. These beauty standards have a benefit in regards to weight, as it makes overweight people try to lose it which is much better than the current obesity epidemic.
Darker complexion doesn't mean ugly and I don't think many people actually think that. Of course most people prefer their own race and most people are also white so it makes sense why they would prefer a lighter complexion.
Boys have a say on whether it's attractive or not. I don't see the problem here. It's much better to be realistic rather than idealistic when it comes to looks, and boys' views on looks should be important because they dictate the beauty standards for females.
You have completely ignored my point.By young kids i meant teenagers and yes a lot of people do hate on darker women.
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KA_P
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
I live in the uk and have experienced hatred for being a dark-skin tone.Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.Everyone talks about weight and looks in this generation of teenagers...
Yes, but I don't think you should be limiting this observation to a single generation. It's to do with the age group mostly. It's a period of puberty and change. Looks changing, muscle building, body mass, just a lot of change. It's more often than not someone would be attentive to their body at that point in time, therefore more influenced by beauty standards and what the 'norm' is (not that there is one as per se).
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Wired_1800
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am going to RANT.I hate how young kids these days focus on their weight and looks.Kids with darker complexion are hated on and looked down and called "ugly".We live in a **** generation with such a high beauty stand that changes constantly.Kids getting bullied on because they look difference.Boys thinking they have a say on a girls body.This agitates me to the fullest.
Most “kids” dont have a fully developed level of awareness and world experience to have a strong independent opinion on many affairs. It is society that has shaped their view on what should be considered good or bad.

Racism, misogyny, colourism, misandry and many other problems have been present before this generation. The main difference is social media and pop culture expand the views beyond smaller bubbles.
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j25_8
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#20
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
Give examples someone being called ugly for their skin colour in this day and age. I have never seen kids being hated on for their skin colour, which is the main point of this thread. Weight is something that can be controlled to an extent and we shouldn't encourage unhealthy lifestyles. Literally no one about looks or weight unless it comes to dating. Boys saying things about girl's bodies goes both ways, girls say the same thing about boys.
OP will never believe this but in my first secondary school (large proportion of bame students, north london) my black girl friends used to take the piss out of eachother and other girls for being attracted to white boys. They literally made them feel embarrassed about it. And that was just my first secondary school - in my second one (dorset), similar things did happen but there were less bame students there. But even then, the black girls in that school still talked about white boys as if they were the scourge of the earth. For some time it made me feel bad for them. Never seen a single white guy complain about it on tsr though. 🤷🏽*♂️

People will be racist unfortunately. It’s just how some idiots choose to live their lives. You aren’t gonna change them especially not by moaning about it on tsr. In reality, I’ve not known a black girl that struggles with dating in the way that OP is complaining about. People here are going to coddle her and validate her and stuff but the truth is no amount of validation or agreement will change anything about her situation or try and challenge her mindset. Validation will only work for the rest of the evening but you’ll get just as angry when it happens again the next day. On the other hand, changing how you react to certain things will make things easier for the rest of your life. Why don’t you try and avoid these people and ask these people to avoid you? Nobody is forcing you to engage with these people seriously. You’re just putting these people on a pedastal by going out of your way to let them affect you like this. There are people out there who’s own parents, friends and even siblings have told them constantly throughout their childhood that they are worthless or unworthy of love and stuff. These same people use that as motivation to prove them wrong. Some of them choose not to do that, but unsurprisingly nothing changes for them at all. The bottom line is that stuff happens. Society says things to everyone. People say things about everyone. The real variable is how you choose to let them affect you and that’s true in every facet of life from beauty standards to money to education.
Last edited by j25_8; 3 months ago
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