I don’t know if running away from new relationship

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Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
New relationship new fears

I have started dating a guy from the past again and when we started dating first as friends he was seeing another girl (she was just a friend with benefits for 2 months). As we started dating as something more he immediately had a talk with the other girl and told her he was interested in starting a serious relationship with me and that they had to stop. He told me she had a good reaction and understood.
What’s the problem? That this girl is still a friend for him and he told me he was going to continue hanging out with her or with her and rest of the group and I don’t feel comfortable.
I have talked about this with him but he says nothing is going to happen between them, that it was difficult to leave her in a way but that he was positive about being with me.
I think that at some point she will try something.
I don’t know what to do, they have already met after their talk and I feel strange when they hang out.
What can I do? I know he is sincere but I just want to run away sometimes.
I want to clarify that she is not a super all time friend, they met for the first time 1 year ago at work.
Anonymous #2
Report 3 months ago
From my experience when a guy has history with a girl and they stay friends, there is a reason why he chose to not to distance himself from her. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that he still has feelings for her. The question is ""why is he with me then?", this is where it gets confusing.In my situation it was because she wasn't interested in dating him at the time and so he tried to had a little relationship to move on as well as to make a jealous slightly, you know, show her what she's missing. Although they weren't super friendly, it was suspiciously friendly. So when I asked about it, he assured me that he really liked me and that they were just friends and that I shouldn't be so jealous. I was made out be the "crazy girlfriend", but honestly in terms of being respectful to a partner in a monogamous relationship, it is never okay to be close with someone that you have history with when in a relationship. Long story short, she had been the person he vented to whenever we would argue and she had been told him to break up with me which a friend had overheard when in their class, coincidentally they started dating each other a few weeks later. I don't mean to lecture you or vent but something I got from this experience is that if someone liked you they wouldn't give you a reason to feel this distressed especially when they like you so much, and meeting up after the talk is proof that he is okay with putting you in a position of discomfort. He may be a good guy but him choosing to be this close with her knowingly upsetting you is him putting her before you. I would advise you to have another conversation with him or simply reassess it yourself. It could be an innocent friendship but gut feelings are always a good way to go.
I was in denial for a while and wanted to believe him but I know that in the moment it is hard.

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