If he likes me like he says why doesn't he want to meet?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I met this guy online we talked for months and eventually meet. Anyway after he said he didn't want a relationship. I then found out I'm pregnant. He knows and wants to be involved. He told me he regrets what he said and that he is just scared he'll get hurt and he does really like me a lot. He's started turning his life around stopped smoking weed and started taking antidepressants. He texts me a lot more now however he never calls like he used to before we met. I asked if he'd like to meet this weekend, he said he doesn't know as him and his mates don't make plans they just do stuff randomly and will let me know tomorrow. We live 2 hours away from eachother so I really have to know I'm advance to book train tickets etc. I just feel like a texting buddy now, if he really liked me like he said wouldn't he want to meet? He wants to come to all the baby's appointments so I thought it'd be a good idea to meet before them, plus we've only met the once so be good to know eachother more.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this guy online we talked for months and eventually meet. Anyway after he said he didn't want a relationship. I then found out I'm pregnant. He knows and wants to be involved. He told me he regrets what he said and that he is just scared he'll get hurt and he does really like me a lot. He's started turning his life around stopped smoking weed and started taking antidepressants. He texts me a lot more now however he never calls like he used to before we met. I asked if he'd like to meet this weekend, he said he doesn't know as him and his mates don't make plans they just do stuff randomly and will let me know tomorrow. We live 2 hours away from eachother so I really have to know I'm advance to book train tickets etc. I just feel like a texting buddy now, if he really liked me like he said wouldn't he want to meet? He wants to come to all the baby's appointments so I thought it'd be a good idea to meet before them, plus we've only met the once so be good to know eachother more.
Maybe after you met he kind of didn't wanna date you after all. I wouldn't be too hurt by it because you could seem different in the phone compared to real life. or maybe even his opinions changed. If he's too busy to video call (like my online ex-bf did)

Anyway I feel like he wants to meet you but maybe his circumstances aren't letting him meet you. Either he might not be interested anymore though. For example maybe his home life or a personal problem. I think he does like talking with you but maybe spends too much time with his friends.
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londonmyst
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#3
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Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
He may be focusing on dealing with his personal issues and sorting his life out, so that he can be a reliable coparent.
How old is he?
Does he go to uni or work full time?
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Muttly
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#4
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I'm not sure of this is your first baby - but the journey going forward will be a winding one. You sound so level headed and I am sure you are going to be a super Mum. It is so difficult when someone (Baby's Dad) will not respond with the same enthusiasm and commitment.
I guess your guess is he is still swimming in weed? At what point do you say enough and leave him to start running around you. Otherwise you will have 2 babies to look after. If he hasn't got the maturity or the enthusiasm to want to be involved with his baby then more fool him. Critically he is liable for the financial upkeep of your child. Clearly wanting to meet him again to discuss practicalities seems like a step too far for him, even though you are doing all the work arranging everything. It is so disheartening when he doesn't respond. Keep him in the loop but I fear you may need to have reliance on people closer to home. Don't let his non committal behaviour detract from your exciting journey. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do, both physically and mentally, and do make sure you can find some extra support from friends and close family. He may be the Father but not necessarily earn the right to be called 'Dad' - only you can decide how much rope you give this man and how much he means to you?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
He may be focusing on dealing with his personal issues and sorting his life out, so that he can be a reliable coparent.
How old is he?
Does he go to uni or work full time?
Thanks I am trusting my gut. I think he is trying to sort his life out but I'm also pretty lonely and wanting to sort mine out. Which I can't do if he's messing me around. He is 24, he did work full time but company went bust recently so not currently working.
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