is this silly?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
sometimes I feel angry about this and as if it's my fault when i feel it isn't.
my parents divorced ages ago and for around 5 years now i've had a stepdad who is from latvia (my mum is also latvian). whenever they speak, they speak in latvian, meaning I am basically left out of all conversations and I often hear them saying my name, which just feels unfair to me.
they have never bothered to teach me latvian myself, and I have been trying to learn latvian but it's difficult firstly as i have other responsibilities like looking after a disabled sibling, and also as my parents seem to doubt my ability to learn a language and just put me down or end things if I try in a nice way to start latvian conversation.
on the other hand, my stepdad has lived in the uk for six years now, yet can hardly seem to construct basic sentences?! whenever he speaks in english it's mostly singular words, literally like my autistic brother. he only just seems to pass the english tests he needs to do, or otherwise doesn't bother using the language properly. surely having lived in the uk for six years he should be much further in english than i am in latvian? he started working around 4 years ago at a farm and just recently started working selling food, so then again his work hasn't involved much interaction until now, and even now only basic conversation.
i don't mean to sound ungrateful of my stepdad or anything! but it just irritates me that our conversation is literally limited to saying 'hello' or 'good morning' once a day and otherwise sitting in silence. i don't know if anyone is in the wrong, or if i should talk about it with my mum - i just wish my family was much less distant.
:P
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
I agree with you that it’s not fair and you should be included. I am also a carer to my autistic siblings and I hate how my mum leaves me to look after them while she’s with her boyfriend. I know your situation isn’t the same as that but I understand it can be annoying being left out. If your mum will be okay with it talk to her
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
thank you, i definitely understand you
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Anonymous #1
#4
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bump
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Anonymous #1
#5
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black tea
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
I'm not really sure which part of your post the question in your title refers to?

It's not silly at all that you are upset at your family speaking a different language around you and I would be equally upset and would never do that to my child. It is also unfair that they won't support you in your efforts learning Latvian - after all, all it take from them is listening and speaking slowly and and in simpler language. The bit about your stepdad no speaking English - that is very common and there are people who have lived abroad for decades and still don't speak the language. I don't know whether that related to lack of aptitudes for languages, or lack of incentive, but unfortunately it is all too common.

I guess my only advice would be to try and speak to your mum about how the situation make you feel and ask whether they could you include you in their conversations a bit more, be that though your mum translating what she is saying to your stepdad or helping you a bit with you learning Latvian.
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