Toxic work place

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Report Thread starter 3 months ago
I just started a casual waitressing job a few months ago in order to quit my last one I had done for years and no longer enjoyed. I graduated in June 2021 and am looking for a proper full time job (no luck yet uGH) thing is I didn’t realise that one of the managers was really toxic and rude for no reason. Her colleagues who are guys are all really nice and chill and lovely, good at being patient and training people, but she is the only one who is consistently shouting and getting angry over tiny things, I have anxiety as it is but when she’s there (which is everyday), I can’t do my shift without overthinking literally EVERYTHING because I know she’ll kick off. It’s literally like walking on egg shells. It’s horrible and I dread going in. Thing is if I quit I’ll have nothing and it’s taking so long to get a full time job. If I cut my hours down, my parents will be angry that I’m not doing enough etc. I do do volunteering around work and am retaking my maths GCSE. I mean I just can’t be around her anymore, she’s made me cry a few times and been extremely rude to me, even in front of customers. I can’t cope
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Report 3 months ago
Decide what is the worst that can happen? Could she fire you or would you resign? You always have a choice to do something even if maybe its not the best thing you would want to do.

If she starts shouting at you in particular for whatever the reason, take a deep breath and say

1) " I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said for you shouting - Please can you say that again without shouting at me?"

2) "I can hear you there is no need to shout" "Why are you angry?"

3) "I understand you are angry but please don't shout at me" "What do you want me to do right now?"

Start keeping a diary of events that happen, dates times, triggers and reaction. See if there is anyone else at work who would help you.

Make sure you are complying with your work role (assuming you have a contract)

Ask to see the HR policy on bullying in the workplace - they should have one

Unfortunately she does this because she knows you are 'oh so safe' and won't fight back. She will only stop if you stand up to her and tell her to stop. She may not like it but she is bullying you and this is not good for you or the business. It may be a good idea to talk to your parents just to ask their advice on how best to deal with this.

Sometimes aggressive people can vocalise toward you and it might as well be a sharp knife. Try to imagine yourself wearing a teflon apron so any loud vocalising goes over the top of your head and doesn't stick. Stop personalising it and let it go over the top of your head. not into you. Then just study the person ranting and getting agitated but you must remain detached and cool. The trick is to learn not to suck in or mirror their behaviour. You learn to depersonalise it. It does take practice but it will work and it will help you later down the line.

You shouldn't have to put up with this. Chat with your co-workers and find out when this started. Is there anyone else you can confide in. If work is so bad, leave. If the working environment is so unsafe or so toxic that you have to resign - do so to save your health. It could be deemed constructive dismissal and you might need to take some employment advice later on.

Mind have some interesting articles, and if you are feeling too much emotional pain give them a ring.
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