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Gap year vs uni

I mentioned tonight that I wanted to take a gap year after my alevels I’m in year 13 and I’ve already had a lot of stress about going to uni from school and I thought if I took a gap year then I could get myself together and come up with a plan for my life. I mentioned it tonight to my mum and grandma at dinner and instantly my mum blew up saying that I can’t take a gap year and that I have to go to uni. My grandma tried being supportive but said that I would regret not going to uni. My mum said that she’ll not let me lay in bed for 12 months and unless I can come up with solid evidence of a plan that I’m not allowed to take a gap year. I had a uni in mind but wouldn’t show up on the ucas application my mum then said because it is a online school even though it gives both and in person and online options. She said she didn’t want me to have the life she has. I couldn’t take it anymore and stormed out. Later she then had a go at me. I kept saying how this is what she does, how she never listens. I’m so used to her yelling at me for stupid reasons, whether it’s because I forgot to wash up a glass or a plate she would yell like I had set the kitchen on fire or if it’s when our dog or cat had an accident she would then yell at them then point it at me because I’m the only one who can scream back. I mentioned all this and she proceeded to do the usual “oh I’m such a crappy mother I’m so sorry”. She does this every time we have an argument and acts like she’s the victim. I have severe depression and I’m 10 months clean from harming and she keeps saying how she’s on egg shells around me even tho she keeps starting fights and yelling at me for the smallest things. I’m already overwhelmed with exams and school as well as my mental health and I really hoped she would understand and support me with this and help me through this but she just blew up and started yelling.

Reply 1

username5637224

So come up with a project for your gap year. Thoroughly research it, including all the negative sides,(that way you can go about minimising their implications) and then present the project to your mother.How much would it cost, or how much would it earn you, how much could you save towards uni. What would be the advantages of this year out in regards to your uni degree or experience in general. I basically am a fan of gap years if they're used constructively.You grow as a person, gain in maturity and autonomy, and if your MH has suffered over the last couple of years it's a way of recharging batteries before attacking the next stage in your academic career. But as your mother said, lying around in bed all day will achieve none of the things that I have listed above, so think your reasons through, and when you think she's in a relaxed enough mood, present your project.