Men, how would you feel about a female asking you out?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Men,

If you think a girl is good looking, ‘ your type’ in terms of a glimpse of her personality etc, would you have the courage to ask her out? Alternatively, would you think it was odd if SHE asked you out, flirted with you first etc

Also, if you glance over a lot at a girl when she gets up at her desk ( more than once obviously so it’s not coincidence) in general does this mean you find her attractive or is she just really ugly and you’re staring?

I’m asking because I’m trying to see if I’m doing things wrong as a young twenty something, attractive, smart , fashionable woman. I never get approached by men but I do notice a lot of men in the work place sneakily looking at me but maybe this is actually because I’m ugly.

My mum think that if I just ‘ wait around’ for someone to ask me out I’m going to be waiting a long time but how would you boys feel out there if a girl made the first move? She doesn’t think I’m coming across as ‘ approachable’ but I’m scared of looking desperate or even slutty for flirting with men!
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Anonymous #2
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#2
Here is my take.

I think a lot of guys would be relieved and a lot of guys would think, damn she's desperate and wants me.
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CaptainDuckie
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Men,

If you think a girl is good looking, ‘ your type’ in terms of a glimpse of her personality etc, would you have the courage to ask her out?
Yes.


(Original post by Anonymous)

Alternatively, would you think it was odd if SHE asked you out, flirted with you first etc
No.


(Original post by Anonymous)

Also, if you glance over a lot at a girl when she gets up at her desk ( more than once obviously so it’s not coincidence) in general does this mean you find her attractive
More often than not.

(Original post by Anonymous)
or is she just really ugly and you’re staring?
If she’s unattractive to me, I won’t be staring/checking her out at all.


(Original post by Anonymous)
I do notice a lot of men in the work place sneakily looking at me but maybe this is actually because I’m ugly.
They’re probably checking you out.
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hungrysalamander
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#4
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#4
I wouldn't mind it.
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Ackhnologia
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Men,

If you think a girl is good looking, ‘ your type’ in terms of a glimpse of her personality etc, would you have the courage to ask her out? Alternatively, would you think it was odd if SHE asked you out, flirted with you first etc

Also, if you glance over a lot at a girl when she gets up at her desk ( more than once obviously so it’s not coincidence) in general does this mean you find her attractive or is she just really ugly and you’re staring?

I’m asking because I’m trying to see if I’m doing things wrong as a young twenty something, attractive, smart , fashionable woman. I never get approached by men but I do notice a lot of men in the work place sneakily looking at me but maybe this is actually because I’m ugly.

My mum think that if I just ‘ wait around’ for someone to ask me out I’m going to be waiting a long time but how would you boys feel out there if a girl made the first move? She doesn’t think I’m coming across as ‘ approachable’ but I’m scared of looking desperate or even slutty for flirting with men!
Hi there.
Your mom is wise. She is right, you are going to wait for a long time if you just wait for men to approach you.
With the risk of getting called a creep, a predator, a pervert, a rapist, men are less willing to approach women now.
Go on a forum online where the subject of the first move is discussed. You will see how a lot of are reluctant to approach women now beaucoup of the reasons I mentioned previously.
More men would prefer a woman to approach a man if she is interested in him or if she feels like she does not get a lot of attention from men.
Of course, there is the uncertainty about if the other person might feel the same way, the fear of rejection or getting mocked.
But thInk about it this way: if men, through history had to consider the uncertainty, the fear of rejection and decided upon this that they would not approach women, what do you think would happened? Well, humanity would have disappeared long time ago.
Men always had this burden on them and still have it. You hear about equity between men and women, how women are independent now and can do things on their own, or how they can live without men. But at the end of the day, society and women consider that it is a man duty to approach women. Even if she is the one interested in the man.
Now, to answer your questions.
If a woman who is my type physically and personality wise decided to make a move on me, well I would think first that it must be a prank or something. I would make that it is a prank so that I can run away quickly and save my life. If it was not, well I would be over the moon. In addition to her beauty and her personality what would make my heart melts is her boldness. The boldness she had to come and get what she wanted, me. That is what would make me fall hard for her.
Now, I am not sure that those who stare at you each, find you ugly. Maybe, they would ignore you if they found ugly. But stare at you because you are ugly? I do not think. It is either a coincidence or not. If it happened just once or twice it would be a coincidence. But if they stare at you each time you move, there is a chance they find you attractive. They might be interested but are shy to approach; without forgetting that you are at a work place. They might think carefully about it. Because a single wrong move from them and might get accused of something or get fired.
Now, if you want to make a move:
First identity the man or men who you are interested in.
Second, just start some conversation from time to time to break the ice and now them better. You are not in a rush. See how they are, their personality. Look for what they like or dislike.
Third, keep note about how you feel with each of them when you talk. What vibes do each of them give you? To you feel at ease or uneasy, are they polite or rude, do they seem decent or hateful towards people in general and women in particular? ( the point of the third is to help you see who is decent, respectful man, make you feel at ease and does not give you creepy vibes. So that you can stop to interact with those. Of course, people can fake personality, so you will to actually read between the lines. People say women are more able to do it than men because women are more intuitive, so I hope you can.)
Fourth, which one actually put a lot of effort to know you, to interact back. This will help you see who actually seem to be into you (depending on wether you just want sex or a serious relationship, you know how to check if they just want sex or a relationship.)
Fifth, you shall also try to find out which one like to approach or to be approached by women so that you do not do the wrong move. Best way to know I think is to ask them. ( a question you can ask: how would describe yourself? Would you say that you are the type who like to approach women or like to be approached?).
After all that, I think you might get someone.
Sorry, I know it is quite long but I actually wanted to help you the best I could.
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_gcx
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#6
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#6
I would prefer this to them just waiting around for me to say something. Even better would be mutual displays of interests that progress smoothly to a relationship without it being 0 inclination that they feel the same to getting asked out, if you know what I mean.
Last edited by _gcx; 3 months ago
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Doomotron
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#7
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#7
If a girl asked me out I'd automatically expect it to be a joke, but that's only because I have been quite unseccesful with women in the past.
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Chicken.M.
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#8
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#8
I usually only ask girls if they want to hang out after talking to them for a bit and we're already sort of friends.

A girl I have a crush on has been asking me to hang out alot recently and that makes me very happy lol.

Looking at people doesn't really mean anything. But generally if a girl really is unnattractive I tend not to look at her at all lol. I do look at attractive girls more often than anyone else in the room tbh. And I usually talk to them and try to get a friendship going. I usually make all the first moves so they feel comfortable approaching me or texting me first or asking to hang out in the future.

But yeah ngl if a girl is unnattractive I don't really talk to them unless they talk to me first lol. But I'm antisocial and I barely talk to anyone at all. The prospect of a relationship is the only thing that motivates me to make an effort with people lol.

By the way you don't have to flirt to make the first move. All you need to do is say hi and smile at guys when you pass by them. That's enough for them to start talking to you and take over leading the rest of the social interactions lol. If you have resting ***** face and never acknowledge anyone only the guys with massive egos and confidence will talk to you. The rest won't bother because they think it's a waste of time as you won't respond positively.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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candydiva
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#9
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#9
Wow! If asking a dude out is "slutty" then wat more can be said?! U would lack words to describe me since I do this and a lot more lol!
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Zarek
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#10
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#10
Up your flirting and do have the courage to ask someone you fancy out. A chance to socialise outside of work is also a better bet kicking something off
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username5889199
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#11
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#11
It would be my dream come true. But it's very rare.
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