He got upset again

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I started sorted stuff out with my friend who I fell out with because he kept asking and I decided I don't want grudges anymore because you cant go around in life just hating each other. I made friends again and it was fine for a bit. It was fine until he asked me to meet up but I said I don’t want to because I prefer staying at home and he got upset. I tried making excuses and he gets upset. I actually had valid excuses because I was out with another friend because I went to this new contactless car wash which recently opened and I thought id try out I told him that and he said I always go out with my car guy friend which I do go out with him more because I actually enjoy going out in cars. I don't go out with the other guy because he just wants to do stuff like go for a meal, or walk around shops in our town centre, he doesn't drive, he doesn't drink and I don't find shopping or going to a restaurant enjoyable. I'd rather just order a takeaway eating at hone and shop online. It's just annoying, I don't want to have no grudges but this guy keeps complaining. I have no obligation to go out if I dont want to.
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Toast210
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
This situation seems a bit strange to me. It seems like he wants to spend time with you but it seems like you're not even trying to compromise. Can you really not find anything to do which would be fun for you and him? And yes, you don't have to go out, but imagine what it looks like to him. He wants to spend time with you, and you keep making excuses. If it's a valid excuse then fair enough, and if you also don't feel like going out that day, fair enough. But from his POV, it's very easy to interpret this as you don't care that much, especially because from what I have inferred, is that you have made fake excuses too. Just be honest and upfront if you're friends. Just ask if you can do something else that will be fun for both. And if you just don't feel like going out, that's fine and he will have to just accept that (tho there are still alternatives to that like inviting him over). If you both put in effort and have an understanding for each other, then your friendship should be strong. But from what I can see at the moment, he's very quick to get upset and you don't seem to want to put in time and effort. P.s I apolgise if I sounded rude in this message, I just wanted to add my viewpoint of the situation
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londonmyst
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#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
If it is the same guy that demands you obey him at all times or he & his mother will come harass you in your own home and in college- best to end all contact.
Life is too short to waste time and energy on toxic people who don't deserve any.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#4
(Original post by Toast210)
This situation seems a bit strange to me. It seems like he wants to spend time with you but it seems like you're not even trying to compromise. Can you really not find anything to do which would be fun for you and him? And yes, you don't have to go out, but imagine what it looks like to him. He wants to spend time with you, and you keep making excuses. If it's a valid excuse then fair enough, and if you also don't feel like going out that day, fair enough. But from his POV, it's very easy to interpret this as you don't care that much, especially because from what I have inferred, is that you have made fake excuses too. Just be honest and upfront if you're friends. Just ask if you can do something else that will be fun for both. And if you just don't feel like going out, that's fine and he will have to just accept that (tho there are still alternatives to that like inviting him over). If you both put in effort and have an understanding for each other, then your friendship should be strong. But from what I can see at the moment, he's very quick to get upset and you don't seem to want to put in time and effort. P.s I apolgise if I sounded rude in this message, I just wanted to add my viewpoint of the situation
I just am not going enjoy going to town or restaurant etc it's just expensive, I don't see the point of restaurants tbh, I'd rather just get a takeaway at home which is cheaper and basically the same. The guy doesn't drink, he's scared of fast cars etc so I don't know why I would go out with him just to be bored for hours
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I started sorted stuff out with my friend who I fell out with because he kept asking and I decided I don't want grudges anymore because you cant go around in life just hating each other. I made friends again and it was fine for a bit. It was fine until he asked me to meet up but I said I don’t want to because I prefer staying at home and he got upset. I tried making excuses and he gets upset. I actually had valid excuses because I was out with another friend because I went to this new contactless car wash which recently opened and I thought id try out I told him that and he said I always go out with my car guy friend which I do go out with him more because I actually enjoy going out in cars. I don't go out with the other guy because he just wants to do stuff like go for a meal, or walk around shops in our town centre, he doesn't drive, he doesn't drink and I don't find shopping or going to a restaurant enjoyable. I'd rather just order a takeaway eating at hone and shop online. It's just annoying, I don't want to have no grudges but this guy keeps complaining. I have no obligation to go out if I dont want to.
Yh
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Toast210
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just am not going enjoy going to town or restaurant etc it's just expensive, I don't see the point of restaurants tbh, I'd rather just get a takeaway at home which is cheaper and basically the same. The guy doesn't drink, he's scared of fast cars etc so I don't know why I would go out with him just to be bored for hours
Well as I said, in my previous message, going out to a restaurant or wandering around town aren't the only things to do in the world. I'm sure you can find activities both of you enjoy (go on google and just search up things to do if you can't think of any). And of course, it shouldn't be just you doing this. Tell him that you want to do something else. If he starts searching for other stuff to do, then great. If he just complains and doesn't try, then you've done all you can. I'm just suggesting putting in a bit of time, (and getting him to put in a bit of time) to just make an initial effort and find an activity that both of you will either enjoy or have never done before.
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