Working abroad for 10 months

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I want to work abroad before I buy a house with my bf (we're both 26) because it will help me with my career and is something I've always wanted to do but I'm worried he'll break up with me over it. I have told him before that I want to travel but he wants to buy a house right now.. what do I do?
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 months ago
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Hello! Weird because I’m the same age as you and was having the exact same concern this time last year with my bf haha.. honestly you should just communicate with him! I know it’s cheesy but communication really is key to a good relationship.

If he does break up with you over this.. then really, he’s not meant for you. I know that’s brutal but if he wants a future with you and if he genuinely cares about your happiness, he will understand why you want to do this (this is where communication comes in - you have to explain why).

If he said he wanted to come with you, is this something you would be open to? Or do you want to do this alone?
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello! Weird because I’m the same age as you and was having the exact same concern this time last year with my bf haha.. honestly you should just communicate with him! I know it’s cheesy but communication really is key to a good relationship.

If he does break up with you over this.. then really, he’s not meant for you. I know that’s brutal but if he wants a future with you and if he genuinely cares about your happiness, he will understand why you want to do this (this is where communication comes in - you have to explain why).

If he said he wanted to come with you, is this something you would be open to? Or do you want to do this alone?
Really? How did it go for you? He couldn't come because of his career, which he's just starting out in and loves.
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Really? How did it go for you? He couldn't come because of his career, which he's just starting out in and loves.
Ah I get you..

Well initially it was my plan to move to NZ for two years and get experience in my sector there, when I spoke to him about wanting to do this he was a bit surprised but I explained why it was important for me and he basically said i should do what I want.. that plan fell through for personal reasons and covid lol but we were planning on delaying buying our first home until I was back and settled back into a job in the UK.

I made it really clear to him that I want to live abroad before it’s too late and he understands now, so we have agreed to move together (permanently) as soon as we can. We have since bought a flat but will likely rent it out or sell when we leave, unsure atm haha

Slightly different circumstances but I really think just having that conversation with him and making it really clear why it’s important to you and for your career is a good first step. I know I would feel resentment and regret if my partner had told me not to go or that we would end if I did.. I think if it’s really important to you, advocate for it!
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ah I get you..

Well initially it was my plan to move to NZ for two years and get experience in my sector there, when I spoke to him about wanting to do this he was a bit surprised but I explained why it was important for me and he basically said i should do what I want.. that plan fell through for personal reasons and covid lol but we were planning on delaying buying our first home until I was back and settled back into a job in the UK.

I made it really clear to him that I want to live abroad before it’s too late and he understands now, so we have agreed to move together (permanently) as soon as we can. We have since bought a flat but will likely rent it out or sell when we leave, unsure atm haha

Slightly different circumstances but I really think just having that conversation with him and making it really clear why it’s important to you and for your career is a good first step. I know I would feel resentment and regret if my partner had told me not to go or that we would end if I did.. I think if it’s really important to you, advocate for it!
Glad that's worked out for you :-) I hope you have a fantastic time! Thanks for your advice, I completely agree. I have mentioned working abroad to him before (pre-covid) so it wouldn't be totally out of the blue but I just hope he won't break up with me over it (but I agree with what you say about him not being worth it if he does.. I fully support his career!)
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Glad that's worked out for you :-) I hope you have a fantastic time! Thanks for your advice, I completely agree. I have mentioned working abroad to him before (pre-covid) so it wouldn't be totally out of the blue but I just hope he won't break up with me over it (but I agree with what you say about him not being worth it if he does.. I fully support his career!)
Thanks! I hope you get to do this and have a great time!! Yes absolutely, support should always be mutual and you’re doing this for a really good reason.. good luck with everything
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