I’m trapped

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I’ve had a girlfriend for over a year. Things were good at the start but then everything kind of went downhill. My feelings started to fade so I tried to break up with her many times, but she never lets me. She even said she’d kill herself if I leave her.

I’ve cheated on her. Not just cheated, I’m having an affair with a girl I truly love. She found out about my girlfriend and doesn’t want to speak to me anymore, but I truly don’t want to let her go. I broke up with my girlfriend and told my parents and they are against me breaking up with her. They don’t like the girl I’m in love with and are claiming I’m making the wrong decision.

My “ex” girlfriend is already texting me saying she can’t live without me and that we need to get back together. I feel trapped by my parents and by her in this situation.

All I want is to be with the girl I’m in love with, but it seems impossible. Any advice?
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username5889199
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
You completely messed up. Sounds like you don't deserve her. But my advice is don't talk with the person you cheated just completely leave her don't hurt the person even more.
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Admit-One
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I broke up with my girlfriend and told my parents and they are against me breaking up with her. They don’t like the girl I’m in love with and are claiming I’m making the wrong decision.
Are they the ones in the relationship? No? Good, get on with your life and make your own decisions.
(Original post by Anonymous)
My “ex” girlfriend is already texting me saying she can’t live without me and that we need to get back together. I feel trapped by my parents and by her in this situation.
Block the ex and move on. You're not there to be an emotional crutch for an ex-partner. If they need help they should seek it elsewhere. You being on call does not help them move on.
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londonmyst
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.

You have the right to choose whether you want to be in a relationship and if so with whom.
If you ever allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed into entering or continuing a relationship based solely upon gaslighting & suicide ultimatums, you are reinforcing the culprit's perception that their tactics are effective at getting them their own way.
Good luck!
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Muttly
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#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
Yes - it is easy but you are making it unnecessarily complicated.

Ignore any veiled emotional threats by your current girlfriend. The rejection she feels is for her alone to deal with (not you) and all she is doing is projecting her upset back on to you in an attempt to control you with emotional black mailing. If you let her think that she might be with a chance to get back with you - you are not doing her or anyone any favours. You have to be absolutely resolute in knowing what you want. If you have fallen out of love with her you should just break it off and make sure you offer no communications that would make her think otherwise.

With all due respect - your parents may have thought she was a 'lovely' girl - but it is your life to live not theirs. You have to know your own mind, and say to your parents that you do not wish to continue the relationship. You also need to stay firmly focussed on your studies and education. Use your time wisely and don't throw away the educational work you have done so far because you are overwhelmed with 'love' - You need both and you have a lifetime ahead of you. Poor choices now educational or otherwise can really hold you back later down the line.

It could be that your relationship with your new girlfriend doesn't last, who knows maybe it will? For now you know you want to be with her. Sometimes new relationships are exciting, and if sex is in the mix it can certainly push that euphoric sense of amazing into the stratosphere, blinding you to all common sense. Love however doesn't listen to common sense.

I don't know how old you are. You have to try many relationships and learn from them to truly know yourself. It's ok at this stage to have lots of break ups and trial and error relationships. Yes that's painful but life goes marching on. Climb back on and keep going. Sometimes you will be the 'injured' party and other times you will be the one that starts the closure and ending of such a relationship. You will never 'own' anyone, and can only be yourself. Be true to yourself and tread gently down that path of roses and ravines.
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve had a girlfriend for over a year. Things were good at the start but then everything kind of went downhill. My feelings started to fade so I tried to break up with her many times, but she never lets me. She even said she’d kill herself if I leave her.

I’ve cheated on her. Not just cheated, I’m having an affair with a girl I truly love. She found out about my girlfriend and doesn’t want to speak to me anymore, but I truly don’t want to let her go. I broke up with my girlfriend and told my parents and they are against me breaking up with her. They don’t like the girl I’m in love with and are claiming I’m making the wrong decision.

My “ex” girlfriend is already texting me saying she can’t live without me and that we need to get back together. I feel trapped by my parents and by her in this situation.

All I want is to be with the girl I’m in love with, but it seems impossible. Any advice?
Hi there, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a difficult time, and really if she is blackmailing you and threatening to take her life then this is a serious situation, and her parents need informing, as well as your own.

Cheating is never great, and it will never be seen as acceptable, because quite frankly, it isn’t. But if you are remaining with this girl to save herself from harm until you can exit this relationship in a safe way, then there’s really no way of guiding you there.

As to regards with feeling trapped by her and your parents. I’m sure if your parents knew how you’re being forced into a relationship with the threat of self harm, they may see this in a different light.

It is very apparent that this girl, your ex needs help, and if she trusts you then you might be the key to the help she needs. Then the relationship can be broken off safely.

I hope this helps!😊
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brjf
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#7
Report 3 months ago
#7
You’ve only got yourself to blame for this
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