Make it More Scottish-ey !!

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the bear
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#1
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#1
so the 25th of January is Burns Night ( to do with poetry rather than skin lesions )

let us make some suitably Caledonian punnage to celebrate the noo

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Count D heard that the Island lassies were something special



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Reality Check Toki the Dumdum harrysbar The_Lonely_Goatherd Good bloke Muttley79 nulli tertius chazwomaqAndrew97 Plantagenet Crown Fullofsurprises LiberOfLondon ecolierlondonmyst Sammylou40GlazJoinedup uberteknikPhoenixfeather99AngryJellyfish laurawattwinterscomingBlue_Cow RedTwisttoonervoustotalk Deggs_14 HRobson_BMCSinnoh SaDe7RogerOxonAnonymous1502 DrewskiQuasaParacosm The Usherette™ lyer in hellfyreMidge Bang Udder OrderProducktiveOndeKarelinaGreyWolfTooDr CoxPhantom 1517Dan0101026Soapusername5264250FV75mqb2766cambioTobelstienCoolBroStereoKjekjeSkittishNappLaserquestAleshabecausethenightOberonflyLovelyFoxProxyBuckHowlsHalfeti RoseWoooordabsolutelysproutMoonboChoc fanGhostladyCoolestMacyAmeliaLyndseyROTLRsxgewSameeraClaudiaDaveoNeviBlackCatFlobroLaurenceAnonymous1502Guru JasonLego Men OnJoyfulGeekMarkovHardy_BtgHannaRufusSynergy~Medic WilVanessaCnightingalegendVersionsBecca216Mr WillyjellyRetreadicossummerberrychopinnocMesopotGolderzshortieTashFionaandDonkeymnotzetamfctinygirlBlueIndigoVioletTJ1997DaryaJoyAstraPhoenixRoseWannaCambioAsaYunoouser11235813cleanseBexKorrasmorrasajilemonadeteatreblebeefox houndbbyooserJolesJustaboutmeddadCute KawaiiImperatorFatinespinningtopjoey srpugglet HellllppppScarletMillionsSir Rutlandtimespentjackpotu_w_DSKEdacba_w_HALLOONMickeyM&SpharmerS&FProperladFFFMehvijRam RYeoAeshaMarkWise GTinyPizzahomecounterPStevensAmeliab2PRich PCkentReading MumKing LouiswaxerAzureWindChlaminmate4DopticsDentaldreamsjustvisitedSocraticNikkiBHM365nm12345Leafysealonestercote1ojhungrysalBraindraindjinnsterArtfultinyBenjiHedgeyJoshwoodsniamhblobfishRaptorJKA_P
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the bear
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#2
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#2
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Bathsheba Everdene was fed up with Dorset and moved to the Dundee area, where she met Gabriel Och the sturdy sheep farmer
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the bear
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#3
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#3
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tragic events unfold in teen cliques in an isolated girl's high school set on the remote moorland of Kirkcudbrightshire
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Cote1
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#4
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#4
To Kilt A Mockingbird
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the bear
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Cote1)
To Kilt A Mockingbird
:rave: a canny wee pun Your Ladyship :girl:

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Cote1
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#6
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#6
The Blether Girls

How Clean Is Your House ...with Kim and Haggis

Of Mice And Hen

Vanessie Redgrave

The Brawthers Karamazov
Last edited by Cote1; 3 months ago
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the bear
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Cote1)
The Blether Girls

How Clean Is Your House ...with Kim and Haggis
:rave: a braw brace of puns Your Ladyship :girl:

the people of Albania are lovin' it


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Zonja,
ndoshta e keni të vështirë të gjeni një bashkëshort
të përshtatshëm për fëmijën tuaj më të madh?
Mund të jetë një makth i plotë,
veçanërisht nëse kanë hyrë në varkën e shëmtuar,
ose nëse nuk janë kamë më të mprehtë në rrugë.
Mos u zhduk !
Kemi kënaqësinë t'ju ofrojmë shërbimet
e recepsionit të madh Ëndërrjeta.
Ajo është një mblesëri me përvojë që mund të ndajë
me ju shumë dëshmi të shkëlqyera nga nënat e lehtësuara.
Big Ë nuk kushton shumë dhe garanton shlyerjen
e çdo lek nëse martesa dështon brenda tre viteve.

Jelan Lelërim Xhaxhka

Zëvendës Ndihmës Menaxher i lumturisë martesore dhe atë


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Ladies,
perhaps you are having trouble finding
a suitable spouse for your eldest child ?
It can be a complete nightmare,
especially if they came in on the ugly varkë,
or if they are not the sharpest kamë in the backstreet.
Do not despair !
We are delighted to offer you the services
of big Ëndërrjeta off reception.
She is an experienced mblesëri who can share
many glowing testimonials from relieved Mums with you.
Big Ë does not charge very much,
and guarantees to repay every lek
if the marriage fails within three years.

Jelan Lelërim Xhaxhka

Deputy Assistant Manager of marital bliss and that
Last edited by the bear; 3 months ago
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the bear
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Cote1)
Of Mice And Hen

Vanessie Redgrave

The Brawthers Karamazov
:rave: a fine continuation Your Ladyship :girl:

#2 is a monster

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Cote1
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#9
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#9
Thank you.

Loch, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
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the bear
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Cote1)
Thank you.

Loch, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
:rave: i laughed so hard my sporran fell off :emo: :girl:

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Joinedup
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#11
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#11
Heaven is a Bagpipe - OPM

**** Tartan, Special Agent
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nulli tertius
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#12
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#12
The Killiecrankies

Flodden Fields Forever

On Floyd from Keith on Food this week: How to Avoid Burning Your Bannocks
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meddad
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#13
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#13
No haggis puns please...... they're offal.
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Fullofsurprises
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#14
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#14
Tartan Fink

Bagpuss Pipes

Bring me the Haggis of Alfredo Garcia
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the bear
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#15
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#15
(Original post by Joinedup)
Heaven is a Bagpipe - OPM

**** Tartan, Special Agent
:woo: Whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye! :yay:

*i'm not quite sure what it means either :hmmmm2:

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the bear
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#16
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#16
(Original post by nulli tertius)
The Killiecrankies

Flodden Fields Forever

On Floyd from Keith on Food this week: How to Avoid Burning Your Bannocks
:woo: You'll have had your tea Sir Nulli ? :ahee:

the people of Albania are spilling their dunjevača

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Zotërinj,
ndoshta e keni gabuar Qylafën tuaj?
Gjystja e madhe, vajza e kallamarit e gjeti një të tillë
herët në mëngjes pas shtypjes së verës.
Ishte ngjitur me Mbështjellëse të një zonje.
Nëse dëshironi ta rifitoni këtë artikull,
thjesht shkoni në pritje dhe thoni një fjalë diskrete me Thëllëzoren e madhe.
Ajo po kujdeset për të në dollapin e saj të veçantë së bashku
me shumë kapele të tjera, instrumente muzikore dhe futboll tavoline.
Ndoshta do të preferonit t'i hiqni njollat nga Qylafën tuaj para se t'ia dilni përsëri?
Thjesht kërkoni T big T për një huazim të spërkatjes së
saj Cillit Bang™ dhe furçës së fortë për pastrim.

Ylljet Vishkullor Zob

Zëvendës ndihmës mbikëqyrës i gjërave të munguara dhe kaq


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Gentlemen,
perhaps you have mislaid your Qylafë ?
Big Gjystja the squid girl found one
early this morning behind the winepress.
It was next to a lady's Mbështjellëse.
If you would like to retrieve this item just pop along to reception
and have a discreet word with big Thëllëzore.
She is looking after it in her special cupboard along with many other hats,
musical instruments and the table football.
Maybe you would prefer to remove the stains from your Qylafë before popping it on again ?
Just ask big T for a lend of her Cillit Bang™ spray and the sturdy scrubbing brush.

Ylljet Vishkullor Zob

Deputy Assistant Overseer of missing things and that
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the bear
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#17
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#17
(Original post by meddad)
No haggis puns please...... they're offal.
:woo: they are not my bag :getmecoat:

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the bear
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Fullofsurprises)
Tartan Fink

Bagpuss Pipes

Bring me the Haggis of Alfredo Garcia
:rave: well played bonny lass :girl:

the people of Albania are lovin' #3 especially :yay:


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Zonja,
ndoshta e keni gabuar Mbështjellësen tuaj?
Gjystja e madhe, vajza e kallamarit e gjeti një të
tillë herët në mëngjes pas shtypjes së verës.
Ishte ngjitur me Qylafën e një zotërie.
Nëse dëshironi ta rifitoni këtë artikull, thjesht shkoni në pritje
Ajo po kujdeset për të në dollapin e saj të veçantë së bashku
me shumë veshje të tjera, instrumente muzikore dhe futboll tavoline.
Ndoshta do të preferonit të hiqnit njollat nga Mbështjellëse juaj para se t'i dilni përsëri?
Thjesht kërkoni T-në e madhe për një huazim të llakut të saj Pledge™ 2-në-1
dhe jastëk brillo të madhësisë së familjes.

Ylljet Vishkullor Zob

Zëvendës ndihmës mbikëqyrës i gjërave të munguara dhe kaq


Spoiler:
Show
Ladies,
perhaps you have mislaid your Mbështjellëse ?
Big Gjystja the squid girl found one
early this morning behind the winepress.
It was next to a gentleman's Qylafë .
If you would like to retrieve this item just pop along to reception
and have a discreet word with big Thëllëzore.
She is looking after it in her special cupboard along with many other garments,
musical instruments and the table football.
Maybe you would prefer to remove the stains from your Mbështjellëse before popping it on again ?
Just ask big T for a lend of her Pledge™ 2-in-1spray and the family size brillo pad.

Ylljet Vishkullor Zob

Deputy Assistant Overseer of missing things and that
0
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the bear
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#19
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#19
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the farm bois of 19th century Wessex would practice manly sports to impress the village maidens.
once a year they would gather at Stonehenge to yeet a tree trunk over the lintel of the sarsen stones
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the bear
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#20
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#20
some puns are to good to use only once

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