Flatmates from hell

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I'm in my first year at uni, just started the second semester and I can confidently say that opting for living in halls was the single worst decision I could have possibly made.

I'm quite a shy person, but during the first few weeks of moving in I really did try to push myself to be social and get to know the people i'll be living with. On my floor there are 5 other people, two girls and 3 boys. I quickly realised that the random people I was placed with are not my kind of company at all; which was fine at first - I told myself that I can't expect to like everyone. I don't mind people having a drink but it really is an issue with how often they get drunk. I thought that drinking during weekdays was just a thing that would happen during freshers and then would calm down a bit throughout the year- maybe limited to fridays/the weekend. But they drink around 4 times a week and they're incredibly noisy at late hours of the night- 2-4 am screaming like children (which is shocking since they're all 2-3 years older than me) If they're not drinking, they're smoking weed indoors causing the whole block to reek of it. I can't even open my window for fear of the smell; it lingers long after they've been at it too.

Around 3 or 4 weeks in I had decided that I would see how things went, remain reasonably social when in common areas and then assess whether this was somewhere I wanted to stay. But soon enough I had started to overhear them talking about me- saying some really rather nasty things about me that I wish I hadn't heard. Since then on I avoid them wherever possible. I got in touch with the accommodation team to let them know about how uncomfortable I was living there and all they suggested was 'having a talk with them,' to try and settle any issues. I feel like they haven't taken me seriously. I can't sleep properly, studying is nearly impossible with the noise they make, they're really messy and leave the kitchen in a terrible state that i've had to clean many times despite hardly even using the facilities to cook out of awkwardness of running into them. Our contents insurance for inside our rooms becomes invalid if it is found that doors are left open by residents, and they are constantly leaving doors wide open for anyone to walk in and access common areas. They frequently set off fire alarms with their smoking and i've caught them purposefully disabling alarms so they can smoke without being found out.

My uni coursework is piling up and with constant stress of feeling alienated and noise disruption I dread the thought of having to live here any longer, but I know that if I complain again about their behaviour alone no action will be taken and it will just sour my (already broken) relationship with them- perhaps even make them hate me even more. I didn't want to have to tell on them for the drug use (along with all the other dangerous things they've been doing which could get them all in serious trouble with the university) but I feel like I have to at this point to even be taken seriously. I'm torn as to what to do. Part of me wants to just put up with them for the rest of the year so as to not cause issues/confrontations but I can't bare the thought of having to put up with them for much longer, it's making me feel severely depressed. Any suggestions much appreciated.
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Just bliss
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
So sad that you have to go through this but unfortunately you’re gonna have to put yourself first since they’re not being mindful of you, you might have to bring up the alarm thing with accommodation so that they can take what you’re saying seriously, once they realise there’s an actual threat to their property they might do something. At the end of the day don’t pay 9k to not benefit from your education because of some insensitive people
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harrysbar
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#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm in my first year at uni, just started the second semester and I can confidently say that opting for living in halls was the single worst decision I could have possibly made.

I'm quite a shy person, but during the first few weeks of moving in I really did try to push myself to be social and get to know the people i'll be living with. On my floor there are 5 other people, two girls and 3 boys. I quickly realised that the random people I was placed with are not my kind of company at all; which was fine at first - I told myself that I can't expect to like everyone. I don't mind people having a drink but it really is an issue with how often they get drunk. I thought that drinking during weekdays was just a thing that would happen during freshers and then would calm down a bit throughout the year- maybe limited to fridays/the weekend. But they drink around 4 times a week and they're incredibly noisy at late hours of the night- 2-4 am screaming like children (which is shocking since they're all 2-3 years older than me) If they're not drinking, they're smoking weed indoors causing the whole block to reek of it. I can't even open my window for fear of the smell; it lingers long after they've been at it too.

Around 3 or 4 weeks in I had decided that I would see how things went, remain reasonably social when in common areas and then assess whether this was somewhere I wanted to stay. But soon enough I had started to overhear them talking about me- saying some really rather nasty things about me that I wish I hadn't heard. Since then on I avoid them wherever possible. I got in touch with the accommodation team to let them know about how uncomfortable I was living there and all they suggested was 'having a talk with them,' to try and settle any issues. I feel like they haven't taken me seriously. I can't sleep properly, studying is nearly impossible with the noise they make, they're really messy and leave the kitchen in a terrible state that i've had to clean many times despite hardly even using the facilities to cook out of awkwardness of running into them. Our contents insurance for inside our rooms becomes invalid if it is found that doors are left open by residents, and they are constantly leaving doors wide open for anyone to walk in and access common areas. They frequently set off fire alarms with their smoking and i've caught them purposefully disabling alarms so they can smoke without being found out.

My uni coursework is piling up and with constant stress of feeling alienated and noise disruption I dread the thought of having to live here any longer, but I know that if I complain again about their behaviour alone no action will be taken and it will just sour my (already broken) relationship with them- perhaps even make them hate me even more. I didn't want to have to tell on them for the drug use (along with all the other dangerous things they've been doing which could get them all in serious trouble with the university) but I feel like I have to at this point to even be taken seriously. I'm torn as to what to do. Part of me wants to just put up with them for the rest of the year so as to not cause issues/confrontations but I can't bare the thought of having to put up with them for much longer, it's making me feel severely depressed. Any suggestions much appreciated.
Go back to the accommodation office and tell them that you have tried talking to your flatmates (even if you haven't) and you are now feeling severely depressed as a result of no one listening to your concerns. Tell them it is having a bit impact on your ability to work and on your mental health and say you feel you need to be placed in a quiet flat immediately.
Last edited by harrysbar; 3 months ago
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Napp
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
Whilst its up to you, of course, i wouldnt advise trying to get them expelled. Simply escalating your dispute is unlikely to end well.


As a matter of interest though, what did you do to set them off, people dont tend to just randomly hate (or whatnot) someone after all?
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Muttly
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#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
What a nightmare for you. By sounds of it you will not get any support from the accommodation team and your head bangers aren't going to change until they are stoney broke or forced out. Yes - you are a lone voice in the rough, and I imagine you are at your wits end. The huge costs of just doing a degree make doing nothing a non starter.

Look at the terms and conditions again in your accommodation. Request a change of room at the accommodation office. Most providers have several blocks all over campus. Firstly try and get rehoused to get some sleep and relief. If there is stalling over this check all the insurance policies that you hold or university memberships for legal expenses cover. If you have some somewhere and you may need this later on.

If the University accommodation provider contravenes its own contract in providing you accommodation that is unsafe, used by persons committing illegal activities, there is an unchecked fire risk, there is no anti social behaviour monitoring then I believe you should be able to get your money back and be refunded, albeit it will take some time. Get legal advice.

In the meantime - keep going. Get some foam earplugs to help you sleep. If you can't sleep because of noise, record it on your phone. Keep a record log of times and dates of the issues raised. Take photographs of open fire doors, dirty unkempt facilities etc etc Take these to the accommodation provider and ask for a new room in a different block. Go the University welfare section and tell them you are unable to sleep and your coursework is suffering. Check any local classified ads to look for a spare room in a house (go out there and actively seek out accommodation options) so you know what your options are. If the halls won't refund you and can't rehouse you you may have to take them to court with civil action (hence the checking for legal policies)

It takes a lot but try having a conversation with the main offenders and negotiate with them asking if they could be quiet during the hours of x on a weekday at least. I think I know the answer but at least try. They will run out of money soon and probably be kicked off their course. You know what you don't like - can you see what other accommodation options there are and go and visit to keep the escape tunnel in your head alive? There will always be noise and dirty kitchens in halls but it is a question of what degree. Can you find some students on campus who might be interested in a house share for next year? Do you want to share, or do you want to be alone as a lodger with a room in someone's house? Do you want halls but in a different block? You only have a few more weeks before the term finishes?

It sounds like the relationship between you and the other students is non existent so there is no love lost there. Just do what you need to do to get rehoused, and if they won't or can't work at getting a refund for uninhabitable accommodation.

I hope you can get this sorted soon. Don't let the actions of less than 10 students in a community of 10 to 20 thousand spoil what should be a good experience living and studying away from home. Focus on the huge numbers of people you haven't yet met.
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm in my first year at uni, just started the second semester and I can confidently say that opting for living in halls was the single worst decision I could have possibly made.

I'm quite a shy person, but during the first few weeks of moving in I really did try to push myself to be social and get to know the people i'll be living with. On my floor there are 5 other people, two girls and 3 boys. I quickly realised that the random people I was placed with are not my kind of company at all; which was fine at first - I told myself that I can't expect to like everyone. I don't mind people having a drink but it really is an issue with how often they get drunk. I thought that drinking during weekdays was just a thing that would happen during freshers and then would calm down a bit throughout the year- maybe limited to fridays/the weekend. But they drink around 4 times a week and they're incredibly noisy at late hours of the night- 2-4 am screaming like children (which is shocking since they're all 2-3 years older than me) If they're not drinking, they're smoking weed indoors causing the whole block to reek of it. I can't even open my window for fear of the smell; it lingers long after they've been at it too.

Around 3 or 4 weeks in I had decided that I would see how things went, remain reasonably social when in common areas and then assess whether this was somewhere I wanted to stay. But soon enough I had started to overhear them talking about me- saying some really rather nasty things about me that I wish I hadn't heard. Since then on I avoid them wherever possible. I got in touch with the accommodation team to let them know about how uncomfortable I was living there and all they suggested was 'having a talk with them,' to try and settle any issues. I feel like they haven't taken me seriously. I can't sleep properly, studying is nearly impossible with the noise they make, they're really messy and leave the kitchen in a terrible state that i've had to clean many times despite hardly even using the facilities to cook out of awkwardness of running into them. Our contents insurance for inside our rooms becomes invalid if it is found that doors are left open by residents, and they are constantly leaving doors wide open for anyone to walk in and access common areas. They frequently set off fire alarms with their smoking and i've caught them purposefully disabling alarms so they can smoke without being found out.

My uni coursework is piling up and with constant stress of feeling alienated and noise disruption I dread the thought of having to live here any longer, but I know that if I complain again about their behaviour alone no action will be taken and it will just sour my (already broken) relationship with them- perhaps even make them hate me even more. I didn't want to have to tell on them for the drug use (along with all the other dangerous things they've been doing which could get them all in serious trouble with the university) but I feel like I have to at this point to even be taken seriously. I'm torn as to what to do. Part of me wants to just put up with them for the rest of the year so as to not cause issues/confrontations but I can't bare the thought of having to put up with them for much longer, it's making me feel severely depressed. Any suggestions much appreciated.
If they have saying nasty things about you then you must have done something to bad to them because people don't just say **** behind someone's back for no reason. So what have you done to them?
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Anonymous #3
#7
Report 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
If they have saying nasty things about you then you must have done something to bad to them because people don't just say **** behind someone's back for no reason. So what have you done to them?
I promise you it happens. I've heard people sh** talking my friend for the music she listens to; my other for the fact he was gay~ There are people who do this stuff unprovoked. I'm not saying OP is being completely honest but accusing them of provoking them is unjustified.
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Muttly
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#8
Report 3 months ago
#8
Yeah - some indignant people just don't like being told - to shut up!!!
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Sodium229
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#9
Report 3 months ago
#9
(Original post by Napp)
Whilst its up to you, of course, i wouldnt advise trying to get them expelled. Simply escalating your dispute is unlikely to end well.


As a matter of interest though, what did you do to set them off, people dont tend to just randomly hate (or whatnot) someone after all?
Well, there are strange and disrespectful people everywhere in the world. It does not necessarily mean that OP did something bad to them.
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Anonymous #2
#10
Report 3 months ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I promise you it happens. I've heard people sh** talking my friend for the music she listens to; my other for the fact he was gay~ There are people who do this stuff unprovoked. I'm not saying OP is being completely honest but accusing them of provoking them is unjustified.
In most cases people start it though, even if it does just happen you just ignore it then move on because part of life, there's no point op pitying themselves over it because 1) it's reality, not everyone is going to lack your arse 100% of the time and number 2) op probably provoked them anyway
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Napp
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#11
Report 3 months ago
#11
(Original post by Sodium229)
Well, there are strange and disrespectful people everywhere in the world. It does not necessarily mean that OP did something bad to them.
No but as a general rule there are two sides to every story and im inclined to be suspicious of ones where 1 party is painted as being not but saintly and the others as irredeemable jackasses.
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Anonymous #2
#12
Report 3 months ago
#12
(Original post by Sodium229)
Well, there are strange and disrespectful people everywhere in the world. It does not necessarily mean that OP did something bad to them.
Also op has disappeared as well so it's likely he's hiding something or it might be possible they are trolling tbh
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Sodium229
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Napp)
No but as a general rule there are two sides to every story and im inclined to be suspicious of ones where 1 party is painted as being not but saintly and the others as irredeemable jackasses
I see your point, that's true, it is a possibility.
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Sodium229
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Also op has disappeared as well so it's likely he's hiding something or it might be possible they are trolling tbh
Personally I don't think they are trolling, they typed a long paragraph with a lot of details in it (this is gonna take some time) and it sounds like they got really upset because of this, although I know attention seekers do exist but in this case, I think it's unlikely for them to be a troll and also maybe they could be busy because of the work at university.
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
If they have saying nasty things about you then you must have done something to bad to them because people don't just say **** behind someone's back for no reason. So what have you done to them?
Honestly been wracking my brain as to what I could have done to upset them, I remained social saying hi 'how're you,' and stuff when bumping into them in common areas and I make sure to keep the place tidy after i've used something. I honestly think the main person who i overheard was drunk and has a tendency to talk **** and cause drama because i've overheard her saying **** about people who she acts really rather pleasant with otheriwse. :confused:
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#16
(Original post by Napp)
Whilst its up to you, of course, i wouldnt advise trying to get them expelled. Simply escalating your dispute is unlikely to end well.


As a matter of interest though, what did you do to set them off, people dont tend to just randomly hate (or whatnot) someone after all
(Original post by Anonymous)
Also op has disappeared as well so it's likely he's hiding something or it might be possible they are trolling tbh
Apologies I've been busy with coursework! yeah maybe I did do something that irriated them i'm not sure? I think my shyness comes across as me being rude sometimes but the first week or so I really did try to socialise with them! I mean we watched a movie and ate together and all was well?
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#17
(Original post by Muttly)
What a nightmare for you. By sounds of it you will not get any support from the accommodation team and your head bangers aren't going to change until they are stoney broke or forced out. Yes - you are a lone voice in the rough, and I imagine you are at your wits end. The huge costs of just doing a degree make doing nothing a non starter.

Look at the terms and conditions again in your accommodation. Request a change of room at the accommodation office. Most providers have several blocks all over campus. Firstly try and get rehoused to get some sleep and relief. If there is stalling over this check all the insurance policies that you hold or university memberships for legal expenses cover. If you have some somewhere and you may need this later on.

If the University accommodation provider contravenes its own contract in providing you accommodation that is unsafe, used by persons committing illegal activities, there is an unchecked fire risk, there is no anti social behaviour monitoring then I believe you should be able to get your money back and be refunded, albeit it will take some time. Get legal advice.

In the meantime - keep going. Get some foam earplugs to help you sleep. If you can't sleep because of noise, record it on your phone. Keep a record log of times and dates of the issues raised. Take photographs of open fire doors, dirty unkempt facilities etc etc Take these to the accommodation provider and ask for a new room in a different block. Go the University welfare section and tell them you are unable to sleep and your coursework is suffering. Check any local classified ads to look for a spare room in a house (go out there and actively seek out accommodation options) so you know what your options are. If the halls won't refund you and can't rehouse you you may have to take them to court with civil action (hence the checking for legal policies)

It takes a lot but try having a conversation with the main offenders and negotiate with them asking if they could be quiet during the hours of x on a weekday at least. I think I know the answer but at least try. They will run out of money soon and probably be kicked off their course. You know what you don't like - can you see what other accommodation options there are and go and visit to keep the escape tunnel in your head alive? There will always be noise and dirty kitchens in halls but it is a question of what degree. Can you find some students on campus who might be interested in a house share for next year? Do you want to share, or do you want to be alone as a lodger with a room in someone's house? Do you want halls but in a different block? You only have a few more weeks before the term finishes?

It sounds like the relationship between you and the other students is non existent so there is no love lost there. Just do what you need to do to get rehoused, and if they won't or can't work at getting a refund for uninhabitable accommodation.

I hope you can get this sorted soon. Don't let the actions of less than 10 students in a community of 10 to 20 thousand spoil what should be a good experience living and studying away from home. Focus on the huge numbers of people you haven't yet met.
Yeah thanks for the advice regarding the insurance! That really did concern me for a while so I will definitely be sure to enquire about that. As for the whole process of finding somewhere alternative to live, I get pangs of guilt when complaining about things like this; i struggle with advocating for myself and end up being walked all over for the sake of not causing issues or being a bother but realistically this can't go on. Guess I gotta man up and just talk to someone and be more insistant. Ive been looking already for a studio for next year so that I will have self contained living and won't have to put up with people as much! After all it's inevitable there are gonna be people I don't mesh well with so i think this is the best option to limit this sort of thing from happening again.
I've got an action plan at least! (And i'm now equipped with heavy duty earplugs :cool:)
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Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#18
(Original post by Sodium229)
Personally I don't think they are trolling, they typed a long paragraph with a lot of details in it (this is gonna take some time) and it sounds like they got really upset because of this, although I know attention seekers do exist but in this case, I think it's unlikely for them to be a troll and also maybe they could be busy because of the work at university.
Yeah thanks ahah. I did try not to make my post sound over dramatic so as to not seem like i'm just complaining for attention. This is the kind of thing that has made me bottle all of this up for months out of fear that i'm just overreacting.
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Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#19
(Original post by Napp)
No but as a general rule there are two sides to every story and im inclined to be suspicious of ones where 1 party is painted as being not but saintly and the others as irredeemable jackasses.
I never intended to paint myself as a saint? Respectfully, if being a 'saint,' is being respectful to the people you share a living space with then idk whats wrong with you
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Muttly
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#20
Report 3 months ago
#20
Just an add on - I'm not sure if your uni has any student helpers or advocates who could just work with you to find a solution to this? Also the uni welfare support may help? - It is in the Universities best interests to do all they can to make sure the students in their care achieve the best results they can whilst studying there - good for you and for the Uni
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