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herpes 2 mental health wreck

so i have been told by doctor he is sure i have herpes as i have a blister on my genitals. however, he will wait for the test results to come back. this happened yesterday i have been crying every minute i live with my mum who is abit strict and i cant ever let her know this.

i have a huge migraine and feeling very faint and ill from the crying. friends have told me to stop crying but its not that easy. im only 19 my life is ruined i cant think about any future. im so upset and broken and betrayed.
Honestly, I know it seems like the end of the world right now but honestly like 20% of the population have herpes, a lot without even knowing.
Your life isn’t over! You can still have relationships and if someone loves you it won’t matter!
It almost just immediately cuts out the people who are in it for the wrong reasons
I got HSV 2 from my very first sexual partner. I've had a really tough time with it and still have frequent outbreaks 10 years later, but I just wanted to reassure you that most people don't have it quite as bad as I do and even if you do have problems with outbreaks, there is medication you can take that can stop you having them, and it also reduced the risk of you passing it on to a partner (I can't take it as I have had severe reactions with it but these are very, very uncommon and most people tolerate it with absolutely no problems).

There is also a very high chance that even though you have a blister on your genitals, it may be HSV1 rather than HSV2 as around 50% of genital herpes is now caused by HSV1. The fact that you only have one blister may actually be more suggestive of HSV1 as it tends to be a lot milder (I probably had over 100) If you have HSV1, that makes life a lot easier as it is the same virus that causes cold sores around the lips and lots of people will have it already so you won't be able to pass it on to them again. With HSV1, there is also no asymptomatic shedding in between episodes so you are basically fine to have sex in between having outbreaks (which tend to be very rare with HSV1 anyway) without risk of passing it on.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is that there is a high chance it may not be as bad as you are anticipating (though I totally appreciate how distraught you must feel about this). But even if it is HSV2 that you have, people still have relationships despite having it and as the anon above has said, it will just help to weed out people who were probably not worthy of being in a relationship with in the first place.

I'm sorry you are going through this and that you feel you can't speak to your mum, and I hope your friends are being supportive. I'm happy to answer questions if you have any.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I got HSV 2 from my very first sexual partner. I've had a really tough time with it and still have frequent outbreaks 10 years later, but I just wanted to reassure you that most people don't have it quite as bad as I do and even if you do have problems with outbreaks, there is medication you can take that can stop you having them, and it also reduced the risk of you passing it on to a partner (I can't take it as I have had severe reactions with it but these are very, very uncommon and most people tolerate it with absolutely no problems).

There is also a very high chance that even though you have a blister on your genitals, it may be HSV1 rather than HSV2 as around 50% of genital herpes is now caused by HSV1. The fact that you only have one blister may actually be more suggestive of HSV1 as it tends to be a lot milder (I probably had over 100) If you have HSV1, that makes life a lot easier as it is the same virus that causes cold sores around the lips and lots of people will have it already so you won't be able to pass it on to them again. With HSV1, there is also no asymptomatic shedding in between episodes so you are basically fine to have sex in between having outbreaks (which tend to be very rare with HSV1 anyway) without risk of passing it on.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is that there is a high chance it may not be as bad as you are anticipating (though I totally appreciate how distraught you must feel about this). But even if it is HSV2 that you have, people still have relationships despite having it and as the anon above has said, it will just help to weed out people who were probably not worthy of being in a relationship with in the first place.

I'm sorry you are going through this and that you feel you can't speak to your mum, and I hope your friends are being supportive. I'm happy to answer questions if you have any.

honestly, mine is serve not mild, the pain feels like its taking over my body i cant walk on sit on my bum. i had to take myself hospital then thats when they said go clinic. when will this get better im struggling and crying every minute. depressed asf and its only been one day. i still have to wait for my results to confirm. i only have one blister on the right labia. wow , i cant believe you had over 100 im so sorry. this scares me. how was your first. also im such a confident person and strong person. but i know i will become weak as i already have. also i didnt even know i had it until i slept with soemone new and it hurt then thats when i was told to go clinic. so im 99 percent sure it was from the previous guy, he is being an ******* about it to saying he will get tested but he has no symptomns so its probably me who gave it to him. the new guy lives abroad and he said he will get tested and was very nice and mature about it he also said 'regardless im here for you...and we will get through this' which was so comforting. im so scared i passed it on to him. he said after we had sex he had a fever and body pains. i feel so dirty when i know im not. i didnt want to tell the new guy but i felt bad when we spoke on the phone after i went to the clinic so i told him. people said not to tell him yet but i had to.
Original post by Anonymous
honestly, mine is serve not mild, the pain feels like its taking over my body i cant walk on sit on my bum. i had to take myself hospital then thats when they said go clinic. when will this get better im struggling and crying every minute. depressed asf and its only been one day. i still have to wait for my results to confirm. i only have one blister on the right labia. wow , i cant believe you had over 100 im so sorry. this scares me. how was your first. also im such a confident person and strong person. but i know i will become weak as i already have. also i didnt even know i had it until i slept with soemone new and it hurt then thats when i was told to go clinic. so im 99 percent sure it was from the previous guy, he is being an ******* about it to saying he will get tested but he has no symptomns so its probably me who gave it to him. the new guy lives abroad and he said he will get tested and was very nice and mature about it he also said 'regardless im here for you...and we will get through this' which was so comforting. im so scared i passed it on to him. he said after we had sex he had a fever and body pains. i feel so dirty when i know im not. i didnt want to tell the new guy but i felt bad when we spoke on the phone after i went to the clinic so i told him. people said not to tell him yet but i had to.


I had aseptic meningitis with my first outbreak so it was pretty bad (it's a very rare complication though so please don't worry about getting that). I also had back to back outbreaks for the first few months, which wasn't very nice (again, this does not normally happen, I was just very, very unlucky). But outbreaks get less severe if you keep having them so your first one will be your worst. Painkillers will help, and the other thing that I found helpful was washing with salty water - I can't remember remember the exact proportions but I think it was something like 1 teaspoon of salt in a pint of water, which hurt a hell of a lot less than normal tap water. I was also given lidocaine ointment to help with pain when passing urine but that didn't help that much (they also said I could use vaseline so you could try that if you have some lying around). It should start to get easier soon :hugs:

My boyfriend has never had any symptoms and yet still passed it onto me so there is every chance that guy has it but is asymptomatic. But just as a heads up, they will not test him if he does not have symptoms - they can't test unless someone has blisters as there is nothing to swab (they can technically test for antibodies but they don't do that in the UK). I'm glad the other guy is being nice and supportive about it.
Original post by Anonymous
I had aseptic meningitis with my first outbreak so it was pretty bad (it's a very rare complication though so please don't worry about getting that). I also had back to back outbreaks for the first few months, which wasn't very nice (again, this does not normally happen, I was just very, very unlucky). But outbreaks get less severe if you keep having them so your first one will be your worst. Painkillers will help, and the other thing that I found helpful was washing with salty water - I can't remember remember the exact proportions but I think it was something like 1 teaspoon of salt in a pint of water, which hurt a hell of a lot less than normal tap water. I was also given lidocaine ointment to help with pain when passing urine but that didn't help that much (they also said I could use vaseline so you could try that if you have some lying around). It should start to get easier soon :hugs:

My boyfriend has never had any symptoms and yet still passed it onto me so there is every chance that guy has it but is asymptomatic. But just as a heads up, they will not test him if he does not have symptoms - they can't test unless someone has blisters as there is nothing to swab (they can technically test for antibodies but they don't do that in the UK). I'm glad the other guy is being nice and supportive about it.

They actually do test for antibodies in the UK but only privately so it costs a lot !!
Original post by Anonymous
They actually do test for antibodies in the UK but only privately so it costs a lot !!

I know (they also do it on the NHS in very specific scenarios) but I was assuming OP's bf wasn't going to be tested privately

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