What therapy is best for me?

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Ferrograd
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I want to see real world results.
I'm 18, male. I'm medicated on 100mg of sertraline, a reductgion of 50mg since september, been on it for over a year now. i have autism/aspergers, depression, anxiety, and in the past i have been treated for symptoms of PTSD. I am currently very depressed once again. I have had several therapists before with little success. Either they are ridiculosuly expensive for what they are (had a psychiatrist for £300 per hour for a while), say nothing apart from "it'll get better" and "how does that make you feel", or do nothing apart from just let you talk.

I've had hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, and probably CBT therapy before too. The one successful therapy I have had is EMDR which basically got rid of my PTSD symptoms for me and let me be free again in that respect.

I am very lonely and just need some help, and I don't awnt to increase my tablets again.

Thanks
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Muttly
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
I know this might not seem to be much help ...... but if you are determined you will succeed.

What is it that is depressing you so badly? We normally know what is causing us to feel sad and then rely on that to keep us anchored in a time and place.

Most of the time we go through life experiences and experience anger and frustration, we end up stuffing all those angry caustic emotions down inside us unable to express them and without resolving anything or being able to get rid of the pain associated with the events.

Longer term this anger can surface as depression. We can start to expect everyone else to 'find a solution' when really we know the cause. The first step out of this is to learn how to get out of the dark goldfish bowl. The outside edges are the first thing to complete when you make a jigsaw. Even if you have never put a jigsaw together before you can with time and patience make the whole.

Medications can and do help and I urge you to be guided by your medical team. That doesn't stop you doing the jigsaw prep work in the background to keep your mind staying positive (you might find that you don't need any more expensive therapy and that would be brilliant. You could use the money to go on amazing holidays or adventures)

Many of the things that 'rock our world' are defining moments. We survive but those events leave emotional scars. Those scars are normal and are part of us. They stay with us as we get older (maybe not wiser) We do the same all over again sometimes, many times and still wonder why we get smacked around the face by the 'why didn't I see that coming' stick. Our life should not be defined by traumatising life events but it is. Traumatising events stretch our emotional limits and that can at times be horribly painful. Over time we store those memories and they should become part of us as sepia faded past, never forgotten but there if we choose to think it. Sometimes those emotions have a meaning for us and we don't want to let go. We can become stuck in time. What would you say is unresolved and what would you need to do to be happier going forward?

You mention you are lonely. That is definitely something you can do something about. I am sure there is a huge 'lonely' stadium out there where so many people sit and think 'I'm lonely' stuck in isolation but we can't escape. We don't have any way of joining the dots to get safely connected with each other.
If anyone could find a solution to this they would be millionaires. We need it so badly but it has to be created in environments that are safe. If you can find enjoyable hobbies or activities (just for the sake of it) and then get out there and share those activities you enjoy, you may have the first small step to resolving the isolation. It may not seem to work at first. If it doesn't work just keep going. Never stop. Because giving up is not an option.

You are 18 years old with everything in this world for you to discover. Look at the security of people you know right now to help you right now, and to find others in a similar situation? Go to a travel agents and get a few brochures. Get a big fat pen and look at all the locations in the world. See which pages look interesting and then discuss with someone how you can get there. It is achievable. Make a plan. Keep this picture on your desk and look at it every day as a reminder to plan forward.

Find a list of occupations and go through each one imagining what you might want to do. Look up training academies or similar if you see anything that would spark and interest. Look at college open days to be able to talk to other students. Never look back with regret. Only think about planning for tomorrow and stay focussed on finding new things today. Then work on finding people to help you, advocates, advisers, charities, support lines, volunteer programmes etc etc

When you start to fall asleep allow yourself to dream your ideal future. Where do you see yourself in this dream. Beach, city, mountains. With family, alone, in education? Who are you working for? What people are around you? Do you drive, are you in construction, shops, schools, or somewhere in the wild?
That's the beauty of dreaming. It's free, its easy to do and if you have a vision that you know will help you, you can engineer the practicalities in the day?

Nothing is built in a day. But you can focus on your forward dream and be the architect of the very plan to get there.
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Ferrograd
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#3
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by Muttly)
I know this might not seem to be much help ...... but if you are determined you will succeed.

What is it that is depressing you so badly? We normally know what is causing us to feel sad and then rely on that to keep us anchored in a time and place.

Most of the time we go through life experiences and experience anger and frustration, we end up stuffing all those angry caustic emotions down inside us unable to express them and without resolving anything or being able to get rid of the pain associated with the events.

Longer term this anger can surface as depression. We can start to expect everyone else to 'find a solution' when really we know the cause. The first step out of this is to learn how to get out of the dark goldfish bowl. The outside edges are the first thing to complete when you make a jigsaw. Even if you have never put a jigsaw together before you can with time and patience make the whole.

Medications can and do help and I urge you to be guided by your medical team. That doesn't stop you doing the jigsaw prep work in the background to keep your mind staying positive (you might find that you don't need any more expensive therapy and that would be brilliant. You could use the money to go on amazing holidays or adventures)

Many of the things that 'rock our world' are defining moments. We survive but those events leave emotional scars. Those scars are normal and are part of us. They stay with us as we get older (maybe not wiser) We do the same all over again sometimes, many times and still wonder why we get smacked around the face by the 'why didn't I see that coming' stick. Our life should not be defined by traumatising life events but it is. Traumatising events stretch our emotional limits and that can at times be horribly painful. Over time we store those memories and they should become part of us as sepia faded past, never forgotten but there if we choose to think it. Sometimes those emotions have a meaning for us and we don't want to let go. We can become stuck in time. What would you say is unresolved and what would you need to do to be happier going forward?

You mention you are lonely. That is definitely something you can do something about. I am sure there is a huge 'lonely' stadium out there where so many people sit and think 'I'm lonely' stuck in isolation but we can't escape. We don't have any way of joining the dots to get safely connected with each other.
If anyone could find a solution to this they would be millionaires. We need it so badly but it has to be created in environments that are safe. If you can find enjoyable hobbies or activities (just for the sake of it) and then get out there and share those activities you enjoy, you may have the first small step to resolving the isolation. It may not seem to work at first. If it doesn't work just keep going. Never stop. Because giving up is not an option.

You are 18 years old with everything in this world for you to discover. Look at the security of people you know right now to help you right now, and to find others in a similar situation? Go to a travel agents and get a few brochures. Get a big fat pen and look at all the locations in the world. See which pages look interesting and then discuss with someone how you can get there. It is achievable. Make a plan. Keep this picture on your desk and look at it every day as a reminder to plan forward.

Find a list of occupations and go through each one imagining what you might want to do. Look up training academies or similar if you see anything that would spark and interest. Look at college open days to be able to talk to other students. Never look back with regret. Only think about planning for tomorrow and stay focussed on finding new things today. Then work on finding people to help you, advocates, advisers, charities, support lines, volunteer programmes etc etc

When you start to fall asleep allow yourself to dream your ideal future. Where do you see yourself in this dream. Beach, city, mountains. With family, alone, in education? Who are you working for? What people are around you? Do you drive, are you in construction, shops, schools, or somewhere in the wild?
That's the beauty of dreaming. It's free, its easy to do and if you have a vision that you know will help you, you can engineer the practicalities in the day?

Nothing is built in a day. But you can focus on your forward dream and be the architect of the very plan to get there.
Isolation and loneliness is the main driving force of my depression. Whether thats not really having any friends, not a girlfriend, struggling, hell i cant even go out clubbing because i have no one to go out with.

I have self esteem issuies too though these i have managed to conquer.
In the past i was very, very badly bullied and was left with what some of my doctors and myself thouight was PTSD. My childhood was stolen from me.
I'm aspiring for a career, in the police believe it or not, but with this relapse i'm not sure if i'm gonna make the cut. certainly i wont if i then go to the doctors and get more meds etc. other than universities which ive aqpplied for next year, nothing.
i don't dream of a future wheni g o to bed. thats when i feel the worse. just get angry, frustrated, i physically shake
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Muttly
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
Ok - How about repairing yourself physically first?

Make yourself do something physical ie walking, walk jogging every morning at silly hour so you become body clock conditioned to get up at at 0700hrs. Find out what your max walking limit is the first day, walk and walk until you reach the point at which you absolutely have to stop. Get the bus back if necessary when you finish. Give yourself a day off and then do half that amount every day for a week. Have another day off and do it again, with a little bit more added on. Then play with it, do a minute or two jogging. and gradually increase the distances. Keep a diary so you can see how you are getting better. This is about your own self help.

In the day plan your escape out of the drudge you want to escape from.

I know there used to be army pre fitness training groups - see if there are any in your area. You might not have to join but it could help you meet other people with an aspiration to get fit, and you would be doing it in company. Sign up to Park Run (I have no connections)

Get the joining requirements for the police - use their fitness spec as your goal to achieve the minimum level of fitness. You can aspire to it and then change your mind to do anything as you get fitter and more confident.

Look up volunteers needed in your area - Volunteer Centre, Do It, Charity Job, Volunteer Matters - just give a little bit of time.

Look up art classes for mental health and see if there is anything in your area.

Find a boxing club and join it to get a structure and support - some of the registered ones can be a bit hard on you but if you can stick it it might help you find your 'inner soul' and the fight back begins.

If you need qualifications - go back to college and start again. Many adults have to and some do by choice. Look at Jay (Repair Shop) who is learning to read at 51. We all carry our bags from the past, and some you can let go of. You don't have to define your whole life by them. English and Maths may be free under assessment at college but you could see what courses there are that take your interest. Talk to someone at the college to find out how you can progress, and they will also let you know about funding. Just enrol in one course, if you can, and if you are a student you can the access the college welfare and support services for free. They also have career advice. By being in a college environment you can slowly find new friends, and new outlooks.

Look for part time jobs, catering, supermarkets, bar work. Anything you can put your heart and soul into. Keep searching the job profiles of all careers, fire service, police, army, navy, RAF. Try and talk to people about it. In the jobs and careers market you are going out there to sell yourself with all the things you are working on to improve your marketability. You are on the same level pegging as everyone else who applies so don't use this exploration to enlighten everyone about your own insecurities and hang ups, that is for another day conversation with someone else. In that way you are building your confidence not tying yourself to the past. Many many people have terrible backgrounds and awful episodes of neglect or have lacked the love they needed to be able to accept themselves later in life. I don't gloss over that because they are hard emotions to cut through. But is you are genuinely searching for work you are rewriting the new chapter for yourself, and this is the one you should focus on. I can do. I can achieve.

Remember not to over think everything. If you are sensitised to other people's bullying it is difficult to ever lose the bullying pain seed lodge in your head. Not everyone is like that. Not everyone is a bully. People are kind, and will try and help all they can but you need to let them. It may take a few weeks or even a month. But if you can do just one thing that is a step onto another rung you are doing really well.

For now if you can and it will be your choice - ignore your stolen childhood and past. Your focus is entirely on the day and how you are using it to plan and prepare for tomorrow. You literally have to build your own luck. It will not come knocking at your door so don't expect changes overnight. In six months you might be able to say - do I know one person more than I did six months ago. Do not give up - ever. You may receive some knock backs but don't let 10 or 20 no's stop you. Every one gets them. Keep trying, keep going.

Good luck and along the way I hope you can find some other kindred spirits also embarking on their journey to a better place.
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