I am struggling.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Ok so, I am honestly not doing good right now. My home situation is very fraught and this year is going downhill. I keep getting rejected from everything I apply to or from things that really matter to me. E.g. I have been rejected from two of my universities and I expect a third rejection very soon - although I hold two offers, unfortunately my school situation is such that people usually get 4 or 5 offers, so honestly I feel pretty rubbish. I apply for SO many things and I keep on getting rejected. It’s always ‘your application has been unsuccessful’ and ironically, my grades are also dropping. I see friends and peers constantly get chosen to do things or always get accepted and are always presented with opportunities. I see people who barely try at their subjects get A* whereas I, who did SO MUCH work have to settle for a B. I guess it’s just the constant rejection that has made me so insecure. I apply for things and don’t expect to get in, and I try not to get my hopes up, because if I do, I know I’ll just be disappointed. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, I’ve lost quite a few of my close friends this year. We just drifted apart and they found better people. All of this has made me depressed and miserable and bitter. I find it so difficult to be truly happy for someone eg getting accepted into a uni I got rejected from, or getting a good grade. I just feel so bitter and unhappy all the time. I stg people always say that life has uphills and downhills, but ever since i can remember, my life has been a constant downhill. Anything good that happens is quickly overtaken by something bad. I just want to make my parents proud of me, I want them to be able to boast about me and I can’t even do that. I know they feel like the money they have spent behind my education has gone to waste. I know someone will reply saying ‘why don’t you talk to someone?’ but the truth is, I can’t. My parents don’t understand and wouldn’t get me a therapist to talk to; and I don’t even know if that will do much good, I have trouble talking about my feelings and websites like this are best because it is anonymous. I constantly feel dumb and out of my depth with school and I guess I’ve just taken to asking the stupidest questions or just being the ‘dumb friend’ so I can remain interesting enough for people to talk to me.
I’m so done with everything now - I’m never gonna get anywhere in life, and just these experiences foreshadow what the rest of my life will be; constant rejections and a never ending cycle.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so, I am honestly not doing good right now. My home situation is very fraught and this year is going downhill. I keep getting rejected from everything I apply to or from things that really matter to me. E.g. I have been rejected from two of my universities and I expect a third rejection very soon - although I hold two offers, unfortunately my school situation is such that people usually get 4 or 5 offers, so honestly I feel pretty rubbish. I apply for SO many things and I keep on getting rejected. It’s always ‘your application has been unsuccessful’ and ironically, my grades are also dropping. I see friends and peers constantly get chosen to do things or always get accepted and are always presented with opportunities. I see people who barely try at their subjects get A* whereas I, who did SO MUCH work have to settle for a B. I guess it’s just the constant rejection that has made me so insecure. I apply for things and don’t expect to get in, and I try not to get my hopes up, because if I do, I know I’ll just be disappointed. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, I’ve lost quite a few of my close friends this year. We just drifted apart and they found better people. All of this has made me depressed and miserable and bitter. I find it so difficult to be truly happy for someone eg getting accepted into a uni I got rejected from, or getting a good grade. I just feel so bitter and unhappy all the time. I stg people always say that life has uphills and downhills, but ever since i can remember, my life has been a constant downhill. Anything good that happens is quickly overtaken by something bad. I just want to make my parents proud of me, I want them to be able to boast about me and I can’t even do that. I know they feel like the money they have spent behind my education has gone to waste. I know someone will reply saying ‘why don’t you talk to someone?’ but the truth is, I can’t. My parents don’t understand and wouldn’t get me a therapist to talk to; and I don’t even know if that will do much good, I have trouble talking about my feelings and websites like this are best because it is anonymous. I constantly feel dumb and out of my depth with school and I guess I’ve just taken to asking the stupidest questions or just being the ‘dumb friend’ so I can remain interesting enough for people to talk to me.
I’m so done with everything now - I’m never gonna get anywhere in life, and just these experiences foreshadow what the rest of my life will be; constant rejections and a never ending cycle.
You need to place less emphasis on university, you can still have a life if you don't go there and weather you go or not doesn't determine who your are or it shouldn't determine your self wort either

On a different note, your obsession is not good. Seek help. This is clearly getting to you for some reason.
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