Drop out or transfer uni?

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lola_abram123
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
So I'm in my first year of uni at Brighton and I kind of don't like it anymore. The whole experience is a lot different to what I thought it was going to be and I'm not massively enjoying myself. I got through first term alright and was a bit homesick the week before coming home for Christmas but thought it was a little blip and thought it would just go away. The three week holiday goes by and I went back to uni on the 8th of January.
The week long period from the 8th-15th was mentally the worst week of my life. I hit such a low point and was having panic attacks everyday, the worst day was me having 3 panic attacks in one day, and that was the day I got back to uni. I went back on the 16th as I was crying my eyes out on the phone to my mum the night before. I was in a constant state of anxiety and always wanting to go home. I'm at home now because my exams are online but I'm going back on the 6th of Feb and I'm dreading it. It should be slightly better because I've transferred courses (psychology to psychology and criminology) and my mum's friends daughter goes there as well and we were planning to meet.
I don't have loads of friends, which yeah is partly my own fault I guess, but I just hate being far away from home knowing that if I need to come home for mental health reasons, its just a lot of hassle to come home. I live an hour and a half away from Brighton, near London, and I was looking online to see what uni's nearby did psychology and criminology to see if I could transfer. Two of my friends go to Oxford Brookes and that's only 40 minutes away and if I had a little panic, I would go straight to them instead of wanting to go home as a first option.
I'm going on an antidepressant in April during the 3 weeks I have off as it is apparently meant to make you feel worse before you feel better and both my mum and I said to each other I'd rather be home than uni when I first take it.
I'm just so conflicted as to what to do because I do love Brighton as a place but I just don't know if it's the place for me uni wise. I'm a massive homebody and hate being away from home, especially if I'm in a bad way mentally and feel like I need to be home.
I think it's worth mentioning that I'm also autistic and I hate being away from familiar environments but thought by going to uni, I would be pushing myself to be in situations where I'm not 100% comfortable. I do want to go to uni but it might just be the location.
I just feel so overwhelmed and the thought of going back to uni next week makes me feel so anxious and I don't know what to do. I've emailed the support people at uni and I have an appointment with them but I just don't know if I would feel better being closer to home or not.
My mum's said that if I wanted to drop out its fine and I've emailed the Oxford Brooked admission team about transferring and they said it would be a little tricky but possible.

Any advise? Be as honest as possible because I don't want to be told what I want to hear, I need the truth. Please let me know asap haha, because I go back on the 6th of Feb and would obviously need to make a decision. I might give until April to make a definite decision as of course some changes have been made course wise and I might feel better after making some friends on my new course and after meeting my mum's friends daughter but if I don't feel better I won't know what to do.
Last edited by lola_abram123; 3 months ago
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ran-dumb
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
If you do want to go to uni, then uni itself is probably not the issue so you're better off giving it another go. But I do think you should put some decent work into figuring out where you'll go to make sure it'll really work. Oxford Brookes sounds fine if you've got friends and everything, although I think its worth trying to pick apart whats the issue now. If the real problem is being far from home and not because you have no friends, then you might want to go somewhere around London, if it helps knowing you can literally sprint home if you're having a bad day. Good luck, the UCAS deadlines passed so you should probably sort this out soon if you can.
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hallamstudents
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#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by lola_abram123)
So I'm in my first year of uni at Brighton and I kind of don't like it anymore. The whole experience is a lot different to what I thought it was going to be and I'm not massively enjoying myself. I got through first term alright and was a bit homesick the week before coming home for Christmas but thought it was a little blip and thought it would just go away. The three week holiday goes by and I went back to uni on the 8th of January.
The week long period from the 8th-15th was mentally the worst week of my life. I hit such a low point and was having panic attacks everyday, the worst day was me having 3 panic attacks in one day, and that was the day I got back to uni. I went back on the 16th as I was crying my eyes out on the phone to my mum the night before. I was in a constant state of anxiety and always wanting to go home. I'm at home now because my exams are online but I'm going back on the 6th of Feb and I'm dreading it. It should be slightly better because I've transferred courses (psychology to psychology and criminology) and my mum's friends daughter goes there as well and we were planning to meet.
I don't have loads of friends, which yeah is partly my own fault I guess, but I just hate being far away from home knowing that if I need to come home for mental health reasons, its just a lot of hassle to come home. I live an hour and a half away from Brighton, near London, and I was looking online to see what uni's nearby did psychology and criminology to see if I could transfer. Two of my friends go to Oxford Brookes and that's only 40 minutes away and if I had a little panic, I would go straight to them instead of wanting to go home as a first option.
I'm going on an antidepressant in April during the 3 weeks I have off as it is apparently meant to make you feel worse before you feel better and both my mum and I said to each other I'd rather be home than uni when I first take it.
I'm just so conflicted as to what to do because I do love Brighton as a place but I just don't know if it's the place for me uni wise. I'm a massive homebody and hate being away from home, especially if I'm in a bad way mentally and feel like I need to be home.
I think it's worth mentioning that I'm also autistic and I hate being away from familiar environments but thought by going to uni, I would be pushing myself to be in situations where I'm not 100% comfortable. I do want to go to uni but it might just be the location.
I just feel so overwhelmed and the thought of going back to uni next week makes me feel so anxious and I don't know what to do. I've emailed the support people at uni and I have an appointment with them but I just don't know if I would feel better being closer to home or not.
My mum's said that if I wanted to drop out its fine and I've emailed the Oxford Brooked admission team about transferring and they said it would be a little tricky but possible.

Any advise? Be as honest as possible because I don't want to be told what I want to hear, I need the truth. Please let me know asap haha, because I go back on the 6th of Feb and would obviously need to make a decision. I might give until April to make a definite decision as of course some changes have been made course wise and I might feel better after making some friends on my new course and after meeting my mum's friends daughter but if I don't feel better I won't know what to do.
Hey lola_abram123

I'm so sorry to hear that your university experience hasn't been what you'd hoped it would be. It is a very difficult thing to move from home, especially when you have anxiety. Due to the impact that this has on your mental health, it may not be entirely worth it, unfortunately. If your grades aren't coming back what you'd hoped due to being away from home and feeling anxious, and your social life isn't as enjoyable as you'd like it to be, then the positive points of university don't seem to be lining up well.

Saying this, you could see how switching courses goes. You might make some new friends that make Brighton feel like your new home. I definitely think it's really important to surround yourself with great people, especially when you're mentally struggling. If you find that this doesn't improve at all over the next few months, then it may be best to really consider what is best for your mental health. Talking to the university advisors is a great start, too, so it's brilliant that you've reached out.

I really do hope that everything works out alright, and I hope I've managed to help, even if just a little!
Quinn - Student Ambassador
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Jess_Lomas
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
Personally I would transfer before as if you don't like it once transferred then you can always drop out after but if you drop out then you might have some regrets about not transferring
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lola_abram123
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#5
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by ran-dumb)
If you do want to go to uni, then uni itself is probably not the issue so you're better off giving it another go. But I do think you should put some decent work into figuring out where you'll go to make sure it'll really work. Oxford Brookes sounds fine if you've got friends and everything, although I think its worth trying to pick apart whats the issue now. If the real problem is being far from home and not because you have no friends, then you might want to go somewhere around London, if it helps knowing you can literally sprint home if you're having a bad day. Good luck, the UCAS deadlines passed so you should probably sort this out soon if you can.
I think it is the location, I would feel safer knowing I'm closer to home and if I went to Oxford Brookes my first point of contact if I had a little blip would be my two friends rather than wanting to run home. Yeah, I sent Oxford Brookes an email and they said I could transfer next year so I guess I would have to continue this year at Brighton. Thanks for your help
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Thisismyunitsr
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by Jess_Lomas)
Personally I would transfer before as if you don't like it once transferred then you can always drop out after but if you drop out then you might have some regrets about not transferring
If OP doesn’t like the university that they transferred to then they can’t start a new degree due to only being able to gain 4 total years of student finance.
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lola_abram123
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#7
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by hallamstudents)
Hey lola_abram123

I'm so sorry to hear that your university experience hasn't been what you'd hoped it would be. It is a very difficult thing to move from home, especially when you have anxiety. Due to the impact that this has on your mental health, it may not be entirely worth it, unfortunately. If your grades aren't coming back what you'd hoped due to being away from home and feeling anxious, and your social life isn't as enjoyable as you'd like it to be, then the positive points of university don't seem to be lining up well.

Saying this, you could see how switching courses goes. You might make some new friends that make Brighton feel like your new home. I definitely think it's really important to surround yourself with great people, especially when you're mentally struggling. If you find that this doesn't improve at all over the next few months, then it may be best to really consider what is best for your mental health. Talking to the university advisors is a great start, too, so it's brilliant that you've reached out.

I really do hope that everything works out alright, and I hope I've managed to help, even if just a little!
Quinn - Student Ambassador
My grades are alright, the only bits of work I've actually done are the bits I'm doing now and nothings been graded. I might see how this term goes and theres a coach service that goes from Brighton to Heathrow then my mum would pick me up and because now I have Friday's off I have a three day weekend. I'm just really conflicted
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lola_abram123
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#8
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#8
(Original post by Thisismyunitsr)
If OP doesn’t like the university that they transferred to then they can’t start a new degree due to only being able to gain 4 total years of student finance.
Yeah I haven't actually moved uni's as of yet, it's still an option for me. And if I did I would be transferring into second year I think
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