Help :(

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#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Since I turned 12 my happiness / optimism / joy for life basically evaporated for various reasons my life has been total hell
School- relentless bullying ruined my life left me with long term trauma / ptsd / severe insecurity a plethora of mental heal issues - depression- anxiety - thoughts etc etc - my dentist botched dental work and together with my depression and not taking care of myself my teeth decayed really Badly and i have a molar tooth extracted due to it. the effect of this era of my life had a strong effect on me even now at age 21
In recent years my life has been horrific severe depression etc
My mum is the only person i live with right now ( my dad was extremely unsupportive through out my life- left my mum brother and i in severe financial turmoil - if it was nt for my grandparents financial support we would have been destitute growing up and now i never speak to him and he had withdrawn all support he is as good as dead to me and i ******* hate him)
My mum Is so toxic and all over the place spent her life constantly hoping around And never committing to anything so she has no secure job or skills) shes constantly placing me in such in credibly high stress situations to the point of illness , constantly complaining and finger pointing has all the traits of a poor persons mindset ( wonder why either of the two ******* had children to be honest)
She has been going in and out of **** jobs and then leaving at one point she had no job .

Currently she is in a terrible violent job and comes home every day to unload a torrent of negativity on me ( as usual)

As for me I have little qualifications no skills ( im partly responsible for some of my ****** situation i have found my life at namingly severe mental health and my own personality traits/ poor choices in the past making me procrastinate / shut down/ give up im kinda of lazy myself - my current situation further compounds making my life difficult. I feel so bitter and anger and raging at the world/ i have no prospects and little chance of ever escaping my severe poverty and life circumstance
I swing between two extremes of desperately wanting to see the better side of life and wanting to be a good person and contribute and having hope
And total despair and feeing nihilistic and hopeless and desperately wanting to help my mum and prove my ******* piece of **** “dad” wrong and everyone who ever wronged me in my life

What should I do ?
I feel so overwhelmed
I have tried so hard in the past to try many paths to improve - everything backfires on me
How can I ever escape?
If you were in my situation what would you do?
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LegalTom
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
Wow! You are such a strong person to have survived this mess you have found yourself in.

My two cents to you would be to look for a way to be independent: get a job (and if you already have a job, save up and look for a healthier and freer environment). You can't fix everything but the little things within your reach, and to get away from all the negativity that you've mentioned, you need money to rent a flat or shared flat.

Secondly, talk to your mum. Like you said, 'she's the only person you live with right now', you want to have a good relationship with her as she puts a roof over your head and feeds you, I presume. Needless to say, you should speak to her in a respectable manner and express your fears and anxieties that she mounts on you; make her realise that her behaviour is impacting you, negatively.

It is easier said than done, I know. But of what use is life if we don't go down without a fight? Life is riddled with tasks that we need to perform to progress, so please don't give up. Slow and steady wins the race and I hope God (if he exists and is looking over you) assists you. Also, try to settle things with dad.
Last edited by LegalTom; 3 months ago
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#3
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by LegalTom)
Wow! You are such a strong person to have survived this mess you have found yourself in.

My two cents to you would be to look for a way to be independent: get a job (and if you already have a job, save up and look for a healthier and freer environment). You can't fix everything but the little things within your reach, and to get away from all the negativity that you've mentioned, you need money to rent a flat or shared flat.

Secondly, talk to your mum. Like you said, 'she's the only person you live with right now', you want to have a good relationship with her as she puts a roof over your head and feeds you, I presume. Needless to say, you should speak to her in a respectable manner and express your fears and anxieties that she mounts on you; make her realise that her behaviour is impacting you, negatively.

It is easier said than done, I know. But of what use is life if we don't go down without a fight? Life is riddled with tasks that we need to perform to progress, so please don't give up. Slow and steady wins the race and I hope God (if he exists and is looking over you) assists you. Also, try to settle things with dad.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post
the last part spoke to my i am going to try and use it as a sentiment to use everything in my power to keep trying - even though i get knocked down alot i hope i have the strength to still get up
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Bongo Bongo
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
If you carry on working/studying it could eventually lead you to success in some form. Keep going. There's always hope.
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