Politics A-Level essay feedback needed!

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meli77
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Hey,

I would appreciate it a lot if I could get some feedback on this essay. Also, how many marks do you think this would get? It's my first source question so I am still a bit rusty...

Many thanks in advance!
Last edited by meli77; 3 months ago
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daisywatson253
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Hiya!

I'm in year 13 and currently on track for an A* - so I hope this advice has some useful weighting!

Firstly, most exam boards expect you to mention the provenance of the source. So, with this source, you could comment on its likely impartiality due to its origins. Being from a university means it's likely a research resource... etc. etc. Being from parliament, is it possible to lean a certain way. Also, look at the timing of the source being written. 2016 is a significant year - it had a referendum! Mention that and how it could have inspired the research. Work on embedding that in your introduction and commenting on the impact of origin on the opinions presented.

Instead of 'some may argue', try to utilise phrases like 'The source states that' 'the extract claims...' Essentially hold the source responsible for its opinions and then use your own knowledge to build upon their claims/statements. When comparing and contrasting the two, make it evident that you are comparing the sources - what is it that actively disagrees or agrees with the other. Utilise quotes!

Also, just a general tip - politics is all about examples and technique. If you can master those, you're on the road to top marks! Try to embed relevant examples and compare historical examples to recent ones to show political development, etc. This will become easier once you've covered more content.
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meli77
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#3
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Woahhh thank you very much!!
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