Help me with this guy

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Hi, I started texting this guy on Instagram almost three weeks ago and it’s the first time in like two years I started talking with a guy and he kept talking about dirty sexual stuff but in a comfortable way, and he was really fun to talk to, we sort of have a fwb relationship cuz we both agreed that being in a relationship would be complicated, we did do stuff together(only over the phone tho) and he’s been really attentive for the past three weeks or so, but since like three days ago his replies are a bit late like I see him online and he doesn’t speak dirty anymore or talk about sexual stuff, he just asks about my day and talk about random stuff, but he did tell me he is not looking to date so we just had fun, I’m afraid I have got attached to him and I get so jealous when I see him online, last night he took like so much time to text me but I see him online sometimes and I went to sleep at around 11pm but I saw him online until like 1am on insta, does this mean he’s talking to someone else, I think I might’ve developed feelings for him, so I overthinked and texted him saying that a guy at my workplace asked me out and he told me it’s my choice and understood me and idk what to do now help me someone pls . I know this is so immature of me but relationships and I are so weird, thank you for listening to me x
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ran-dumb
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
People talk to more than one friend in a day, if you're not in a relationship that doesn't sound like a problem to me. I'm not sure why he hasn't been talking to you the same way, but he still asked you about your day and spent time with you so he probably wants to keep the friendship going. I don't know his exact words, but 'your choice' sounds to me like he thinks its a bit of a shame, and if you genuinely want to step things up with him (if its complicated like you said its up to you), I think you should try to keep it open so you can leave it as an option for him. Good luck
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Scotney
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I started texting this guy on Instagram almost three weeks ago and it’s the first time in like two years I started talking with a guy and he kept talking about dirty sexual stuff but in a comfortable way, and he was really fun to talk to, we sort of have a fwb relationship cuz we both agreed that being in a relationship would be complicated, we did do stuff together(only over the phone tho) and he’s been really attentive for the past three weeks or so, but since like three days ago his replies are a bit late like I see him online and he doesn’t speak dirty anymore or talk about sexual stuff, he just asks about my day and talk about random stuff, but he did tell me he is not looking to date so we just had fun, I’m afraid I have got attached to him and I get so jealous when I see him online, last night he took like so much time to text me but I see him online sometimes and I went to sleep at around 11pm but I saw him online until like 1am on insta, does this mean he’s talking to someone else, I think I might’ve developed feelings for him, so I overthinked and texted him saying that a guy at my workplace asked me out and he told me it’s my choice and understood me and idk what to do now help me someone pls . I know this is so immature of me but relationships and I are so weird, thank you for listening to me x
The thing is why would a real relationship be complicated as you are both single?Or are you.Do you actually have any idea who this guy who you have been sexting is.He could be 40 and married for all you know.Just saying.
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
(Original post by Scotney)
The thing is why would a real relationship be complicated as you are both single?Or are you.Do you actually have any idea who this guy who you have been sexting is.He could be 40 and married for all you know.Just saying.
No he’s a real person, we even video call and has mutual friends, but I know nothing of him and I talked to him for like three weeks, he’s really cool and funny, but I don’t understand anything anymore help
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Scotney
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
No he’s a real person, we even video call and has mutual friends, but I know nothing of him and I talked to him for like three weeks, he’s really cool and funny, but I don’t understand anything anymore help
Why does he not want a real relationship?
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by ran-dumb)
People talk to more than one friend in a day, if you're not in a relationship that doesn't sound like a problem to me. I'm not sure why he hasn't been talking to you the same way, but he still asked you about your day and spent time with you so he probably wants to keep the friendship going. I don't know his exact words, but 'your choice' sounds to me like he thinks its a bit of a shame, and if you genuinely want to step things up with him (if its complicated like you said its up to you), I think you should try to keep it open so you can leave it as an option for him. Good luck
Thank you so much, it’s crazy how your words helped me understand, but he’s not the type of guy who would commit in a relationship, I feel like he’s texting other girls like he’s texting me and I feel so ridiculous and manipulated, I feel like a fool and I don’t want to. What if he’s doing this with so many other girls? I’m just a very anxious person and it’s getting the best of me, and I really like this dude, but the sudden change in his texting.
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Scotney
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much, it’s crazy how your words helped me understand, but he’s not the type of guy who would commit in a relationship, I feel like he’s texting other girls like he’s texting me and I feel so ridiculous and manipulated, I feel like a fool and I don’t want to. What if he’s doing this with so many other girls? I’m just a very anxious person and it’s getting the best of me, and I really like this dude, but the sudden change in his texting.
I would let him go and find yourself someone who is willing to commit.Believe me if he was really interested he would not be giving you the friends with benefits line.It is a myth created for men by men.Do not waste another minute on this person.You are worth so much more than tacky phone sessions.
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Chicken.M.
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#8
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#8
Probably got bored. Sexting/phone stuff is pretty boring once you've done it a few times already lol. It's just masturbating with extra steps.
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Anonymous #2
#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much, it’s crazy how your words helped me understand, but he’s not the type of guy who would commit in a relationship, I feel like he’s texting other girls like he’s texting me and I feel so ridiculous and manipulated, I feel like a fool and I don’t want to. What if he’s doing this with so many other girls? I’m just a very anxious person and it’s getting the best of me, and I really like this dude, but the sudden change in his texting.
He is almost certainly doing this with other girls. I literally do the same thing.
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candydiva
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#10
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#10
Y r u taking him so seriously? He has hardly invested anything in u or knowing u. Don't be imbalanced lol! As for fwb that would be great if that was wat u want too but it seems u want more than him and this won't end well.
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Faith.A
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#11
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#11
As I read the post halfway I thought aw he might want to move away from the sexual stuff and wants more conversations of substance because he might like you *but* since you later said he's been growing more distant and slower replies it could just be that he's more into someone else. And flirting with you sexually might feel dishonest when his interest lies elsewhere.

Hate to say it but sometimes the "you" is silent. It may not be that he doesn't want a relationship in general, he just might not want a relationship with *you*. Harsh ik but a possibility nonetheless.
Last edited by Faith.A; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
(Original post by Scotney)
I would let him go and find yourself someone who is willing to commit.Believe me if he was really interested he would not be giving you the friends with benefits line.It is a myth created for men by men.Do not waste another minute on this person.You are worth so much more than tacky phone sessions.
Omg this is the sweetest thing luv, thank you so much you opened my eyes, big love
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
(Original post by Chicken.M.)
Probably got bored. Sexting/phone stuff is pretty boring once you've done it a few times already lol. It's just masturbating with extra steps.
Omg this is so true
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
He is almost certainly doing this with other girls. I literally do the same thing.
I’m just really going thru a rough patch and this dude is just what I need to make things worse haha, thank you so much for sharing this
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by Faith.A)
As I read the post halfway I thought aw he might want to move away from the sexual stuff and wants more conversations of substance because he might like you *but* since you later said he's been growing more distant and slower replies it could just be that he's more into someone else. And flirting with you sexually might feel dishonest when his interest lies elsewhere.

Hate to say it but sometimes the "you" is silent. It may not be that he doesn't want a relationship in general, he just might not want a relationship with *you*. Harsh ik but a possibility nonetheless.
Aww I love the brutally honest part!, you’re right it might be this too, I have attachment issues with people and it’s getting the best of me this time, I should stop being pathetic and move on!
Thank you so much for replying and taking the time, loads of love x
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
(Original post by candydiva)
Y r u taking him so seriously? He has hardly invested anything in u or knowing u. Don't be imbalanced lol! As for fwb that would be great if that was wat u want too but it seems u want more than him and this won't end well.
It hurts so bad cuz I wasn’t the one who kept being clingy at first but oh how the tables have turned! He fails to understand the fact that I don’t want a fwb and still keeps texting me
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ran-dumb
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
It hurts so bad cuz I wasn’t the one who kept being clingy at first but oh how the tables have turned! He fails to understand the fact that I don’t want a fwb and still keeps texting me
You two agreed you shouldn't make it a relationship, its not any of your fault that exactly how he's doing it. Just don't take it personally
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