Antidepressants SSRI

Best of luck with them!
Just bear in mind that, as mentioned before, they can take a bit of time to work and have some annoying side effects whilst the concentration builds up but after a few weeks you should, ideally, start to notice a positive difference

Yup will do cheers

I just read that drinking should be avoided which wasn’t mentioned before and is it a bit of a buzzkill

Yup will do cheers

I just read that drinking should be avoided which wasn’t mentioned before and is it a bit of a buzzkill

Update on day 4 symptoms right away from day 1 included headaches, nausea, drowsiness yet insomnia and a weird one is dilated pupils… been taking at night

i’m on sertraline right now, i didn’t notice an increased anxiety however i do get very tired and nauseous sometimes but the nauseous feeling has stopped, right now my head hurts a little but overall it’s not that bad. they kind of just numb my emotions like i don’t really feel anything

Update on day 4 symptoms right away from day 1 included headaches, nausea, drowsiness yet insomnia and a weird one is dilated pupils… been taking at night

how long have you been on it for? i have felt an increase in anxiety

:< give it a bit more time tho, they might go away
my pupils get really dilated too! but im on fluoxetine/prozac. not sure why. makes me look like a coke addict :<

today is my 4th day, how about you?

I take citalopram, it's fine and helps me a fair bit. I feel like I have more chance to be "me" while taking them i guess. I'll probably be taking them for the rest of my life.

I don't really get side effects on my current dosage provided I take them in the morning. I get sleep disturbance if I take them after 12 noonish though, and when I was on a higher dose I had really bad persistent heartburn for some reason. The other types of ssri I tried didn't do anything for me though (Side or actual effects).

Usually takes about 4-6 weeks for them to start "working" in my experience (if I am switchig to a new kind or if I haven't taken them for like months or something).

How long have you been on this one that’s working for you?

Hi

I’m having to consider taking antidepressants or not. Had persistent and severe depression since before I was even a teen. Have bad anxiety too. I’m worried about taking it and feeling worse or not recognising myself. Also feel ashamed I have to be on meds and I’m broken. My parents have been on them for a lot of my life. I feel like I’m ‘like them’ and it’s horrible. Have a friend who was on them and their life went off the rails.I don’t have counselling and can’t access it for a long time.

Do you have experience with it? Any advice?

Hi!

I have lots of experience with antidepressants: I am a nurse, I have taken them/currently on them, and I have friends on them too. I haven't read the replies so I may repeat what others have said already. I knew this was going to be a long post as I appreciate you probably have a lot of questions and anxiety around this.

My personal experience

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in my mid 20s after crying on my GP because I was having suicidal and self harm thoughts (I am now 32). Looking back, that anxiety and depression has been there most of my life. I was seriously suicidal when I was 19 and didn't seek help then. I remember harming myself when I was 8 because I was so, so stressed and jut couldn't deal with it. I would point out that I had undiagnosed ADHD (combined type) which would have a significant impact growing up, as I was diagnosed with ADHD at 31.

So, my first time on Sertraline (SSRI) was 50mg (a common starting dose) at a time were I was very tearful and had very frequent suicidal thoughts. There was no immediate change, it was only when I looked back as the weeks went by I realised things felt less intense. The only real side effect I had was my sleep. I found it would take longer to fall asleep, or I would wake up super early and not fall back to sleep. If I missed a few days, I would start to feel a panicky/fizzy/fluttery feeling in my chest and I would realise I had forgotten to take them!
At the same time as I started my medication, I was also referred for therapy. I was on a waitlist for about 3 months before I started this. I had compassion focused therapy for 17 weekly sessions which was life changing and one of the hardest, but things things I had ever done for myself.
I was on sertraline for a total of 6 months. One day I realised I hadn't taken my tablet for over a week! I had simply forgotten, but the anxiety feeling I used to get didn't show. So I figured it was time to stop taking them as I was so much better in myself (I had stopped having self harm/suicidal thoughts, I was applying what I had learnt in therapy into my life etc).

Fast forward to last year. As I said I am a nurse. For over 5 years I had managed my anxiety and depression without the need for medication or further therapy. I knew my warning signs and responded to them.
I had been redeployed into ITU for the COVID pandemic and it was ****ing hell. It was the loneliest time of my life. I had used all the tools I had, I had self cared as much as I could but it wasn't enough. I had a week of holiday leave and when I came back to work, I would back in my usual specialist nurse job. Yay! I had become so mentally and physically burnt out I would cry before my shifts. Sometimes I called in sick because I just simply couldn't face it (for context, I had already asked about being moved back but the NHS isn't a quick machine and the nature of the pandemic meant it was really had to plan anything from an employer point of view).
In the middle of that week I had off, I rang my GP in tears and asked for help. I requested to be put back on Sertraline and to be signed off. I was on 50mg sertraline again. I thought I would need a few weeks off, focus on doing all the things I usually do when my headspace gets bad, get the medication in my system and that I would be OK. I was very wrong, 3 months later I was diagnosed with PTSD and referred for trauma based CBT. I had self harmed in that time, I occasionally had suicidal thoughts.

I am still on sertraline now. I had been on 50mg for ages but my mood worsened about 6 months in. I was tearful. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I was anxious about everything. My dose was increased to 100mg and it was not for me. Sertraline affected my sleep as I had said before. 100mg meant I would on average get 2 hours sleep a night. Sometimes I didn't sleep at all. At most I would get 4 hours. After 2.5 weeks I contacted my GP had went back to 50mg. Sure, my mood had improved, but I was still just as tearful because I wasn't sleeping and therefore exhausted. The difference was I now wanted to do stuff (yay) but I couldn't because I was so tired and exhausted.
I obviously needed to do something to help my mood (because 50mg wasn't enough). I was reluctant to try a different medication, or add another in, because when you're anxious, it's nice to know what works. The more things you change, the harder it can be to figure out what works. So, I started going on a long walk every other day. I would call a friend or family member to chat to them whilst I walked, listen to music or a podcast. Sometimes I would just listen to the sounds around me because everything I would normally listen to pissed me off and I didn't want to be social! The walking really helped, I slept so much better, and because of the exercise and engagement in music/podcast/social, I had a better routine and my mood remained stable.

5 months later, I am now currently 25mg every day, and have ben for about 3 weeks. My mood has remained stable. I dropped down to 25mg because my sleep was still a bit *****y. Having done shift work most of my life, including night shifts, my brain sometimes would be all "I'm not tired, just stay awake!" before all of the PTSD, that would happen maybe a couple of times a year. However, despite being so much better I was staying awake all night at least once week. This is very unhelpful because I am then so tired the following day, my mental health is that much harder to manage.
Now I have dropped my dose, I sleep every night! wooohoo!! I do still take longer to fall asleep sometimes, but falling asleep at 4am is far nicer than 8am (having tried to go to bed at 11pm/midnight). I also take my sertraline as early as possible when I wake up in an effort to have the lowest possible level of said drug before I go to sleep. I don't do my long walks as frequently now, but I do other things now so it all adds up.

Also, sertraline has also dulled my sensations I feel during sex (I know most people don't talk about about but it's important). I find it harder to orgasm. Having lowered my dose, my body is more sensitive to touch etc. The sensations are different. Sex toys can be a real game changer in this sense.

I intend to stay on 25mg until my therapy has finished, and my phased return to work has been completed and I feel settled. I could probably stop taking them now, but it's so important to go slowly and change one thing at a time, and try and pace the changes once a month or so.

That's my life story. Here's a few experiences of my friends, and some advice I would give to everyone and anyone:

* There is no telling how you will respond to an antidepressant until you try it.

* My best mate takes 150mg of sertraline and it makes her sleepy, so she takes it at night.

* I have another friend who needs more stimulation in sex to orgasm. Sometimes they can't no matter what (they're an adult cis male). This is a common thing with SSRIs. Just be prepared that what usually works, may no longer and you will need to invest by yourself, and with your partner to figure out what does work for you now.

* Consider antidepressants as a scaffolding. They don't fix anything, but they can help by providing support whilst you navigate getting better.
*I have had friends on antidepressants their entire adult life and it's OK. It just helps make life easier to navigate. In an ideal world, you would deal with all the root causes, you have access to everything you need and not need medication. Unfortunately, life isn't that simple, particularly if you have other factors such as being someone of colour, disabled, queer, transgender....

* Track symptoms and daily life tasks as will help you see trends and when it comes to speaking to health professionals, having a diary is really useful. I used bearable (an app). Because of bearable, I noticed that the less sleep I had, the worst my symptoms were as a result. It sounds obvious, but when you're really in the thick of a bad mental health period, nothing is obvious.

* Address the root cause - ideally therapy. However, there are lots of free resources out there too. Some charities such as Mind can offer support. Journalling. Instagram accounts such as themindgeek, ablackfemaletherapist, soulfull.journalling are fantastic in my opinion. Are the online or in person support groups you can access. The thing is, digging up these roots is ****ing hard. You are looking at the foundations of your belief system, your identity and not only looking at it, but actively studying it and pulling it apart. It's a long, hard marathon. But every step forward is worth it. It doesn't feel like a victory until you see how far you've come.

*When I feel suicidal or the urge to self harm, I see it as a symptom of my mental health. When I am in a good mood, I don't have these thoughts. So when they do come up, I think "cheers brain, clearly I am having a real tough time at the moment because I wouldn't be having these thoughts. Self harm/suicide isn't very far away from what is best for me. What can I do to help me improve my mood/regain control?"

* Be kind to yourself. Don't talk negatively to yourself and give yourself a hard time. I'll use myself as an example here. I used to call myself every name under the sun, names I wouldn't call the most hated person on the planet I would use on myself. I would berate myself. Hold myself up to an impossible standard. Now, if I have realised I have forgotten to do something for example, instead of saying "oh for ****s sake, I am so useless, I never get anything right", the narrative is "oh darn I forgot this, I have been really busy and I know I am forgetful, perhaps I should reschedule some of my plans so I can make space for things that are slipping through the net"

*On the same thread, talking kindly about yourself to others too. Instead of "I am so sorry I am late. I know I am always late, I am so useless" perhaps try "I am sorry I am late, I really appreciate you waiting for me/thank you for your patience"

*When things feel like too much - write a list down of every worry you have, no matter how big or small. Now, going back through the list, what can you have an impact on? Somethings you cannot control, and so by making this list - it can help focus on what you can change.

Personal advice from me to you:

I will have assumed various things here, but this is how I've interpreted things from your post. First and foremost, there is no shame in taking medication or asking for/receiving help for anything. You are not broken. I am so sorry for what you have been going through and I would give you the biggest, unconditional hug (if you consented that is!) I feel like you are looking at your parents, and your friend and telling yourself that what has happened with them, will happen to you, and I promise you that their story is not yours. You have learned to feel ashamed of this. Shame is learnt, not natural.

Why do you feel ashamed? Is is because you've always had to be independent, or look after yourself? Asking for help can feel really scary and vulnerable, is that the case for you? You don't need to answer these questions on here, but please do mull them over.

You may feel worse for taking antidepressants. There is no guarantee with medication. Therefore it's important to track symptoms and be very honest with your GP/nurse. There are so many different medications out there, it can be a case of trying to find the right one.

In terms of recognising yourself, if the me from 10 years ago met the me right now, I wouldn't recognise myself. Something in your life has to change, because clearly what is happening now is not working. Change is inevitable , it can be super scary, but it can be so positive. Generally, antidepressants don't change your personality, if they do then there is something else going on.

What does your support network look like? Are there people you can lean on? If you're really concerned about not recognising yourself, is there someone you have regular contact with who has the space and energy to act as a sounding board for you? Who can provide that reassurance?

Please take what you feel is appropriate , leave what doesn’t . Thank you for reaching the end of my TED talk!

Lol right me too… what time of day do you take it?

Hi!

I have lots of experience with antidepressants: I am a nurse, I have taken them/currently on them, and I have friends on them too. I haven't read the replies so I may repeat what others have said already. I knew this was going to be a long post as I appreciate you probably have a lot of questions and anxiety around this.

My personal experience

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in my mid 20s after crying on my GP because I was having suicidal and self harm thoughts (I am now 32). Looking back, that anxiety and depression has been there most of my life. I was seriously suicidal when I was 19 and didn't seek help then. I remember harming myself when I was 8 because I was so, so stressed and jut couldn't deal with it. I would point out that I had undiagnosed ADHD (combined type) which would have a significant impact growing up, as I was diagnosed with ADHD at 31.

So, my first time on Sertraline (SSRI) was 50mg (a common starting dose) at a time were I was very tearful and had very frequent suicidal thoughts. There was no immediate change, it was only when I looked back as the weeks went by I realised things felt less intense. The only real side effect I had was my sleep. I found it would take longer to fall asleep, or I would wake up super early and not fall back to sleep. If I missed a few days, I would start to feel a panicky/fizzy/fluttery feeling in my chest and I would realise I had forgotten to take them!
At the same time as I started my medication, I was also referred for therapy. I was on a waitlist for about 3 months before I started this. I had compassion focused therapy for 17 weekly sessions which was life changing and one of the hardest, but things things I had ever done for myself.
I was on sertraline for a total of 6 months. One day I realised I hadn't taken my tablet for over a week! I had simply forgotten, but the anxiety feeling I used to get didn't show. So I figured it was time to stop taking them as I was so much better in myself (I had stopped having self harm/suicidal thoughts, I was applying what I had learnt in therapy into my life etc).

Fast forward to last year. As I said I am a nurse. For over 5 years I had managed my anxiety and depression without the need for medication or further therapy. I knew my warning signs and responded to them.
I had been redeployed into ITU for the COVID pandemic and it was ****ing hell. It was the loneliest time of my life. I had used all the tools I had, I had self cared as much as I could but it wasn't enough. I had a week of holiday leave and when I came back to work, I would back in my usual specialist nurse job. Yay! I had become so mentally and physically burnt out I would cry before my shifts. Sometimes I called in sick because I just simply couldn't face it (for context, I had already asked about being moved back but the NHS isn't a quick machine and the nature of the pandemic meant it was really had to plan anything from an employer point of view).
In the middle of that week I had off, I rang my GP in tears and asked for help. I requested to be put back on Sertraline and to be signed off. I was on 50mg sertraline again. I thought I would need a few weeks off, focus on doing all the things I usually do when my headspace gets bad, get the medication in my system and that I would be OK. I was very wrong, 3 months later I was diagnosed with PTSD and referred for trauma based CBT. I had self harmed in that time, I occasionally had suicidal thoughts.

I am still on sertraline now. I had been on 50mg for ages but my mood worsened about 6 months in. I was tearful. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I was anxious about everything. My dose was increased to 100mg and it was not for me. Sertraline affected my sleep as I had said before. 100mg meant I would on average get 2 hours sleep a night. Sometimes I didn't sleep at all. At most I would get 4 hours. After 2.5 weeks I contacted my GP had went back to 50mg. Sure, my mood had improved, but I was still just as tearful because I wasn't sleeping and therefore exhausted. The difference was I now wanted to do stuff (yay) but I couldn't because I was so tired and exhausted.
I obviously needed to do something to help my mood (because 50mg wasn't enough). I was reluctant to try a different medication, or add another in, because when you're anxious, it's nice to know what works. The more things you change, the harder it can be to figure out what works. So, I started going on a long walk every other day. I would call a friend or family member to chat to them whilst I walked, listen to music or a podcast. Sometimes I would just listen to the sounds around me because everything I would normally listen to pissed me off and I didn't want to be social! The walking really helped, I slept so much better, and because of the exercise and engagement in music/podcast/social, I had a better routine and my mood remained stable.

5 months later, I am now currently 25mg every day, and have ben for about 3 weeks. My mood has remained stable. I dropped down to 25mg because my sleep was still a bit *****y. Having done shift work most of my life, including night shifts, my brain sometimes would be all "I'm not tired, just stay awake!" before all of the PTSD, that would happen maybe a couple of times a year. However, despite being so much better I was staying awake all night at least once week. This is very unhelpful because I am then so tired the following day, my mental health is that much harder to manage.
Now I have dropped my dose, I sleep every night! wooohoo!! I do still take longer to fall asleep sometimes, but falling asleep at 4am is far nicer than 8am (having tried to go to bed at 11pm/midnight). I also take my sertraline as early as possible when I wake up in an effort to have the lowest possible level of said drug before I go to sleep. I don't do my long walks as frequently now, but I do other things now so it all adds up.

Also, sertraline has also dulled my sensations I feel during sex (I know most people don't talk about about but it's important). I find it harder to orgasm. Having lowered my dose, my body is more sensitive to touch etc. The sensations are different. Sex toys can be a real game changer in this sense.

I intend to stay on 25mg until my therapy has finished, and my phased return to work has been completed and I feel settled. I could probably stop taking them now, but it's so important to go slowly and change one thing at a time, and try and pace the changes once a month or so.

That's my life story. Here's a few experiences of my friends, and some advice I would give to everyone and anyone:

* There is no telling how you will respond to an antidepressant until you try it.

* My best mate takes 150mg of sertraline and it makes her sleepy, so she takes it at night.

* I have another friend who needs more stimulation in sex to orgasm. Sometimes they can't no matter what (they're an adult cis male). This is a common thing with SSRIs. Just be prepared that what usually works, may no longer and you will need to invest by yourself, and with your partner to figure out what does work for you now.

* Consider antidepressants as a scaffolding. They don't fix anything, but they can help by providing support whilst you navigate getting better.
*I have had friends on antidepressants their entire adult life and it's OK. It just helps make life easier to navigate. In an ideal world, you would deal with all the root causes, you have access to everything you need and not need medication. Unfortunately, life isn't that simple, particularly if you have other factors such as being someone of colour, disabled, queer, transgender....

* Track symptoms and daily life tasks as will help you see trends and when it comes to speaking to health professionals, having a diary is really useful. I used bearable (an app). Because of bearable, I noticed that the less sleep I had, the worst my symptoms were as a result. It sounds obvious, but when you're really in the thick of a bad mental health period, nothing is obvious.

* Address the root cause - ideally therapy. However, there are lots of free resources out there too. Some charities such as Mind can offer support. Journalling. Instagram accounts such as themindgeek, ablackfemaletherapist, soulfull.journalling are fantastic in my opinion. Are the online or in person support groups you can access. The thing is, digging up these roots is ****ing hard. You are looking at the foundations of your belief system, your identity and not only looking at it, but actively studying it and pulling it apart. It's a long, hard marathon. But every step forward is worth it. It doesn't feel like a victory until you see how far you've come.

*When I feel suicidal or the urge to self harm, I see it as a symptom of my mental health. When I am in a good mood, I don't have these thoughts. So when they do come up, I think "cheers brain, clearly I am having a real tough time at the moment because I wouldn't be having these thoughts. Self harm/suicide isn't very far away from what is best for me. What can I do to help me improve my mood/regain control?"

* Be kind to yourself. Don't talk negatively to yourself and give yourself a hard time. I'll use myself as an example here. I used to call myself every name under the sun, names I wouldn't call the most hated person on the planet I would use on myself. I would berate myself. Hold myself up to an impossible standard. Now, if I have realised I have forgotten to do something for example, instead of saying "oh for ****s sake, I am so useless, I never get anything right", the narrative is "oh darn I forgot this, I have been really busy and I know I am forgetful, perhaps I should reschedule some of my plans so I can make space for things that are slipping through the net"

*On the same thread, talking kindly about yourself to others too. Instead of "I am so sorry I am late. I know I am always late, I am so useless" perhaps try "I am sorry I am late, I really appreciate you waiting for me/thank you for your patience"

*When things feel like too much - write a list down of every worry you have, no matter how big or small. Now, going back through the list, what can you have an impact on? Somethings you cannot control, and so by making this list - it can help focus on what you can change.

Personal advice from me to you:

I will have assumed various things here, but this is how I've interpreted things from your post. First and foremost, there is no shame in taking medication or asking for/receiving help for anything. You are not broken. I am so sorry for what you have been going through and I would give you the biggest, unconditional hug (if you consented that is!) I feel like you are looking at your parents, and your friend and telling yourself that what has happened with them, will happen to you, and I promise you that their story is not yours. You have learned to feel ashamed of this. Shame is learnt, not natural.

Why do you feel ashamed? Is is because you've always had to be independent, or look after yourself? Asking for help can feel really scary and vulnerable, is that the case for you? You don't need to answer these questions on here, but please do mull them over.

You may feel worse for taking antidepressants. There is no guarantee with medication. Therefore it's important to track symptoms and be very honest with your GP/nurse. There are so many different medications out there, it can be a case of trying to find the right one.

In terms of recognising yourself, if the me from 10 years ago met the me right now, I wouldn't recognise myself. Something in your life has to change, because clearly what is happening now is not working. Change is inevitable , it can be super scary, but it can be so positive. Generally, antidepressants don't change your personality, if they do then there is something else going on.

What does your support network look like? Are there people you can lean on? If you're really concerned about not recognising yourself, is there someone you have regular contact with who has the space and energy to act as a sounding board for you? Who can provide that reassurance?

Please take what you feel is appropriate , leave what doesn’t . Thank you for reaching the end of my TED talk!

Me again! I forgot to add one super important thing in this...

Boundaries!

You have every right to ask for help, however if it's from people in a personal capacity (e.g. friends or family) then they may not have the space to do so and they have every right to say no. In the same way if someone asks you for help, you can say no. Boundaries are so rarely modelled in an appropriate way, they can feel like rejection or that you're being 'too' much.

An example might be that every time your parents, or parent, comes home from work they have a big rant about how crappy their day was and the other parent, or you, are expected to listen. Now, on days you are not in the mood for this you hide in your room or something. In a healthier situation, the stressed person should ask "I've had a really bad day and I would like to vent, do you have space for this?" If no one has space, then they could call a friend, or rant in their journal.
Of course, if this bad day is every day at work, then clearly there is something bigger going on (e.g. are they struggling with their workload, do they have unhelpful coping management techniques, are they unhappy and should look for a new job etc).

If the same parent did this, and you don't have space, it should feel safe to say "hey, I need to stop you. I don't have space for this" That should be enough. However, this may feel like rejection to hear so "I can see you need to get something off your chest, but I am not in the right headspace to listen to you and give this my full attention like it deserves. I can offer you XYZ right now"

You are one person with finite energy, as is everyone else. When asking for help, you may not know what you need but having a suggestion of what you think might help is easier than not. My partner can feel very low and when I ask him how I can help, if he says "I don't know" then it starts us off on a backfoot, I suggest various things, which are often a no and then we both feel a bit crappy. However, we had a conversation about it and he now says something like "I feel very low, I am wondering if I can just talk to you for a little bit" which I respond with something like "do you want me to just listen, or would you like me to listen and offer help/advice".

Also, as you start putting boundaries in place, some people will respond negatively. If you have had zero boundaries before, and everyone has had free access to your energy, and then this is no longer the case they may get angry, defensive, upset etc. That is on them. I lost a best friend because I was no longer able to support them how I would usually (having been signed off work with severe anxiety, depression, and PTSD does that to someone!) I tried to support as I could via text but they would ignore them. I said hey, this hurts. They apologised and carried on the exact same hurtful behaviour. So I said something again and I got such a projected backlash from them. They responded with a list of how many things they were stressed about, how my actions impacted them and hurt them, how I get paid sick leave and they don't etc etc etc. In the end, I said to them I was taking myself out of their life, we each had our own healing to do. They didn't know if they wanted to be my friend so I said the door was open if they knew that they wanted to be friends (I did, and told them so).
They still contacted me saying I could contact them too, which had completely ignored a lot of things I had said. I didn't reply. 6 months on, they've deleted me from their social media etc so I am assuming it's a big no.

It hurt, I loved them and they too were hurting. However, I do not need people in my life who respond to those they hurt (however unintentional) by being even more hurtful. My life has more space in it now as a result, space that meant I had more energy to focus on my healing, and not worrying about them.

evening/night, usually. when i take it in the morning/afternoon, i always end up needing a loong nap. imm not sure why it makes me so sleepy,most people say it has the opposite effect on them