No friends, don’t feel like I’ve lived, lost everything - what to do

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
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C25
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#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
Personally, I feel you cause I'm 17 (nearly 18) and I've had friends in the past but due to COVID and my social awkwardness I struggled to keep these relationships and became a bonafide loner just like you and it's so f*****g hard to make friends now. However, despite this, I would advise you on sorting out your social issues/skills and trying to approach or befriend people with a more positive mindset, of course, it will take time but it may pay off in the end.

With all honesty, sorry if this advice isn't any good or if it doesn't really help your situation.
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tinyperson
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#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
try finding a hobby
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yeet_21
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#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
ah yeah join Meetup.com. there are loads of clubs and societies on there bound to be one of interest. i go to one regularly at a pub and its basically a society for nerdy introverts and it works because you got people there with similar personalities and interests who want to chill and make friends. there is a whatsapp group of it too and ppl arrange stuff all the time. just gotta find your tribe i suppose
Last edited by yeet_21; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
I don't know the solution to this just yet. All I can offer you is the fact that you're not alone.
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Maritoo
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#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
Have you tried approaching your student union and seeing what they offer? They could have societies you're interested in or opportunities to volunteer which would allow you to meet new people. Additionally, they may hold events like craft events or gigs etc that allow you to come alone but meet people.
You mention your social skills - what do you think are bad about them? Are you willing to change and what steps have you taken? Have you reached to any services such as your GP or your uni's wellbeing team or any talking therapy services? Even something as simple as CBT could help adjust your thinking towards certain events and make you more confident about approaching people...
It sounds as well that you're reminiscing and thinking about the past a lot, which is holding you back in your present. It's very easy to think about going back and changing things or thinking of a time when things were easier. Unfortunately, I haven't heard of any real-time travellers so think it's best on changing things in the now. Use the past as a lesson/guide and think about what you want your future to be like.
If you want it to be full of friends and filled with events - then start finding some of these events, join websites where you can find out who else is attending them and reach out to them - a few might reject you but many may accept you.
It's not going to be easy, but you have the ability to make changes.


And like the last poster said - you're not alone. The pandemic has pushed a lot of people behind and made it difficult to maintain friendships or meet new people.
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Anonymous #3
#7
Report 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
It may sound like im taking the mick but what about vlogging or videoing yourself.Pretend your chatting to someone.Learn to enjoy yourself and your own company.Dont let others limit your quality of life.You deserve the world.Hope things get better with you xxx
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Muttly
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#8
Report 3 months ago
#8
Firstly let all the world get on with life and spend time alone getting to know yourself and just doing all the things you have ever wanted to do - solo?

Sometimes you can think you are never going to meet anyone. We might not be popular, but each of us play a role in the game of life. When you stop focussing on a target all sorts of doors suddenly start to open. Also remember that the quiet guys in the kitchens at parties have a major part to play in keeping the extroverts sane with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend when their world caves in.

Does your Uni social section have singles nights or speed dating nights (online?) if you would like to find a special person to match you its a place to start?

Scroll down the activities section in Uni and find the ones that float your boat - find someone who would go along with you for a few sessions and get yourself out there: Wild swimming; chess; beginner surfing; chicken keeping; gardening; sewing; catering .....the lists are endless. Also see if there are any welfare bods you could ring or have a chat to just to see if you could find someone to help you there.

Volunteer for activities (Red Cross; Age UK; RSPCA; RNLI, google volunteer & see what it brings up)

Any fund raising sponsored events helping with props, taking part, getting sponsors.

Ignore the finding new faces and just focus on new experiences. Take an interest in any activities - something external to you and find something you are totally interested and passionate about - this is a real attractive quality to others. Once you have found the thing that you love you can look further afield.


So don't worry at all, let the world float by and be resolute. Sometimes nothing happens for ages but all of a sudden life changes for the better. Be honest and just be you. It might not happen soon but if you keep trying somewhere down the line you will find new company.
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Chickenuggets4
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#9
Report 3 months ago
#9
Hey, I’ll be your friend. I’m in my 20s and live in London. You can PM me.
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Chickenuggets4
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#10
Report 3 months ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice

Hey, you can PM me. I’ll be your friend. I’m a 25 year old girl living in London.
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Anonymous #4
#11
Report 3 months ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
Aww I do feel for you honestly, I hope it get's better for you!! I feel like we are in the same year group (I turn 22 in July). Even though i've never been through this I am happy to be your friend girl. If you have Instagram or snapchat I am happy to add you xx
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unknown300
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#12
Report 3 months ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Aww I do feel for you honestly, I hope it get's better for you!! I feel like we are in the same year group (I turn 22 in July). Even though i've never been through this I am happy to be your friend girl. If you have Instagram or snapchat I am happy to add you xx
sorry I didn't realise I was on anonymous, you can PM me babe x
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Anonymous #5
#13
Report 3 months ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
Omg this is so similar to my life that for a moment I thought this was an old anon post of mine. Felt like I’ve even been thinking back more and more to the days I ‘should’ have lived life and it’s a bit of regression. Actually I feel stuck in the ideal youth I never had and it’s like there’s no closure. When you’ve drifted trying different things and not getting f the life you want it can feel so painful after a while.

My advice is that you’re still in those days, and you have many left until the real reminiscing begins (maybe 40s?). Don’t spend them thinking about your student days, you have many more freedoms as an adult outside of stupid school systems. Make a list of the things you have always wanted to try and do.

Like I wished I could have gone to raves at uni and danced freely and actually felt more free. I can’t do that now, but I did go to an adult swing dancing class and it was a bit awkward at first but it was in a bar so we had a drink I danced with some random strangers and it was really good fun.
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0le
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#14
Report 3 months ago
#14
Get involved with volunteering. At the very least you will be doing something productive and you will likely meet a few people with which you can have a conversation.
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NonIndigenous
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#15
Report 3 months ago
#15
Do things you enjoy, then find other people who also enjoy those things and do it together.

If you're one of those people that thinks you don't enjoy anything... then think, what things do you enjoy more, and what things you enjoy less, and build on that understanding, and do more of the things which you enjoy more. It might take a little while/experimenting to figure out what you enjoy more, but that's how you start.
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Anonymous #6
#16
Report 2 months ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much I’ve never had friends for the last 22 years - tried lots including 2 different schools, different unis but no luck. I’m in a situation where I hate life and don’t have anyone to even talk to and don’t feel like I have lived. I just wanna say forget uni and everything at the moment and get on the first plane out of here. I see lots of people having fun doing things like festivals, music, going about with friends however I can never seem to do that and if I do anything alone it’s really awkward. I had friends for a year in college however lost them due to my social skills and one of them didn’t like me since then I can’t really get on with life and craving to go back to that time. Since then which was about 4 years ago I’ve pretty much lost everything and COVID ruined me in every way don’t really want to go into detail but everything that could of gone wrong did.

I know this is a weird situation but any one got any advice
I hope things get better soon
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