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What do you think of literature English Macbeth response

What grade would this be and how can i improve it?In the play as a whole the theme of fate is highlighted through Macbeth following through with the witches’ predictions. The greed Macbeth felt consumed him fully and led to him committing regicide before heading to his tragic fall.At the start of the play as the curtains open, fate is conveyed between the witches chanting during “thunder and lightning”. The use of pathetic fallacy reflects the sinister intentions of the witches which may also suggest that they already know the fate of Macbeth as they are supernatural beings which were seen as something related to the devil during the Jacobean era, making them malevolent and untrustworthy. “Fair if foul, and foul is fair”, the paradoxical statement creates an ambiguous atmosphere which may link to fate and that whatever happens weather is it “foul” or not will occur. Furthermore, it also foreshadows future events as it suggests that everything is as it seems to appear, which links back to the theme of fate as it will happen no matter what, nothing is stopping it.After Macbeth is given the title of “Thane of Cawdor”, the theme of fate is depicted through the declaration of Malcom becoming the next heir. Macbeth is provoked by Duncan’s statement and thinks to himself “the prince…that is a step” this highlights the motivation Macbeth has of becoming King he deems Malcom as just a “step” by comparing him to a “step” this implies that to Macbeth’s path clear is very simple and not a very difficult task. Moreover, it also implies that Macbeth is beginning to have malicious thoughts that are driven by greed. Macbeth’s ambitions are reinforced by the witches’ predictions which conveys how fate is on Macbeth’s side. Therefore, Macbeth should take the leap of faith and move towards his penultimate goal.After reading Macbeth’s letter, Lady Macbeth rebels against the stereotypical Jacobean women standards as she asks “you spirit…, unsex me… fill me ...of direst cruelty”. Most women were seen as vulnerable and something that needs protection but Lady Macbeth go against this, she desires to be full of “cruelty” and wishes to be able to sin to become powerful, this would have been seen as admirable for a modern audience as Lady Macbeth is willing to leave her femininity to obtain what she truly desires. This contrasts this the reaction of a Jacobean audience who would have been shocked and almost appalled that a women would dare to step above her husband Macbeth. The noun “spirts” illustrates how Lady Macbeth aligns herself with supernatural and evil creatures and does not care and only sees her current ambition. She is desperate to gain power. As Lady Macbeth rebels against the fate of a women this highlights the theme of fate which is not completely bound by gender and that it can be formed based on a strong and determined mindset. After Macbeth is slayed, Macduff calls Macbeth a “dead butcher”. The noun “butcher” has negative conations of a person the brutally kills without any conscience of the living creature in order to benefit themselves through profit. Macbeth has committed several sins, the largest being regicide therefore by comparing him to a “butcher” Macbeth is depicted as violent character who was subjected to the fate of a man who has sinned. Macduff punished him by killing him, delivering the fate to a sinner, Macbeth. The word “dead” exemplifies how Macbeth has come to an end and emphasizes his tragic fall. Hence, portraying the fate of an evil character and that people who go against the King are punished. Fate is depicted throughout the play in many forms to convey exactly how Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were blinded by greed and ultimately fell from grace.
This is a really good response! It's a bit long so I won't be able to give you feedback for everything, but I'll tell you what I notice from my first glance. 1. 'the paradoxical statement creates an ambiguous atmosphere which may link to fate' - in English exams is usually better to get rid of uncertainty when giving answers, such as 'may' or 'could'. Also, you may need to explain how the quote links to fate. For example, you could say that the ambiguous atmosphere created resonates with the theme of fate, as it manifests into confusion and disturbance for the audience while the witches appear to be above our understanding, which suggests that they have supernatural knowledge.
2. I am not sure about your last point - 'it also foreshadows future events as it suggests that everything is as it seems to appear, which links back to the theme of fate as it will happen no matter what, nothing is stopping it', as your analysis and your link don't match up as they seem to be in contrast with each other.
3. 'Malcom as just a “step” by comparing him to a “step”' - Maybe instead of repeating the word 'step', you could talk about the connotations of it, such as an obstacle, the stairs on a staircase, a footstep etc. and what they represent. For example, by comparing him to a step, it is also implied that Macbeth can see his destiny as a path out in front of him, where Malcolm is just a single obstacle that he can easily overcome.
4. 'Moreover, it also implies that Macbeth is beginning to have malicious thoughts that are driven by greed.' How? - eg. as it suggests that he plans to kill Malcolm due to his growing ambition, which is a result of the witches' foretelling.
(I'm not sure if this is already mentioned in your response, but the witches themselves represent fate, as the three women are comparable to the three sisters of fate in greek mythology)
5. 'Therefore, Macbeth should take the leap of faith and move towards his penultimate goal.' - Please try to make sure that your sentences are always arguments when writing English essays. It saves time as clear points will get you marks (reinforced with great structure, which you seem to have - most of your points are well-developed and make sense). Try linking back to your previous points in this one, like the 'step' could also represent the leap of faith, (ie. murder) that Macbeth must take in order to continue on his path of destiny, which he appears to be inclined to follow with to the spark of ambition ignited by the three witches.

This is a really beautifully worded response, but I unfortunately do not have the time to read it fully. However, from what I have so far read, my feedback to you would be to explain how your points link back to the theme and make sure that your points and analysis make sense together. You have clearly stated your points and used the correct techniques to analyse quotes, as well as in-depth analysis of single words or phrases which examiners like to see. :smile: (I'm not a teacher and I don't want to pretend to understand the grading system, but it's definitely up there)

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