How to get over guy friend

dude sounds like an arse in my opinion. both with how he messed with you, and the part about his last relationship. definitely better fish in the sea than him. maybe joining a team of some sort could give you a distraction. Developing a new crush would also probably reduce the feelings a good amount, but we can't really force love. It sounds like you both are lusting for each other at this point more than actually loving each other. may be wrong, just saying my thoughts.

So I've had a crush on my guy friend for almost 2 years now. For most of our friendship, things were normal but about a year ago, we started play fighting/wrestling almost every time we hung out. It was in a group setting (we're a friend group of 3), and occasionally we'd hang out alone too. Anyways, because of all the touching I thought he might feel the same, so I confessed a few months later. He said he'd suspected that I liked him and that he just wanted to stay friends, so I asked him to stop play fighting as much since that'd been happening a lot. He agreed and respected my boundaries.

Sometimes I still wonder if he felt the same but didn't want a relationship because he has a lot of trauma and is pretty depressed, but other times I feel like he only wanted to get in my pants. Deep down, I'm pretty sure he never liked me as more than a friend and just did that stuff bc he was lonely or something. He had a past fwb relationship with his old girl friend, and apparently treated her pretty horribly. I have a lot of unresolved feelings towards him because we never talked about things after I confessed. I'm upset/angry that he continuously flirted with me, suspecting that I have feelings for him. I'm also annoyed that we never properly talked about it, but I'd feel weird bringing it up almost a year later. Anyway, I've spent the past few months getting over him, but we recently hung out and now I feel like my feelings came back full force. Basically we went to the beach as a group and were play fighting in the water, and later were touching the entire time we were sitting together on his couch.

So basically I came here to get some thoughts on his intentions and some advice on how to get over him. I don't want to stop talking to him/stop hanging out because we've been friends for a while and I still have fun hanging out with him, despite all that's happened. But I don't know what to do with this combination of resentment and attachment that I feel towards him. I think about him all the time now and I don't know how to distract myself. Any advice would be much appreciated

So I've had a crush on my guy friend for almost 2 years now. For most of our friendship, things were normal but about a year ago, we started play fighting/wrestling almost every time we hung out. It was in a group setting (we're a friend group of 3), and occasionally we'd hang out alone too. Anyways, because of all the touching I thought he might feel the same, so I confessed a few months later. He said he'd suspected that I liked him and that he just wanted to stay friends, so I asked him to stop play fighting as much since that'd been happening a lot. He agreed and respected my boundaries.

Sometimes I still wonder if he felt the same but didn't want a relationship because he has a lot of trauma and is pretty depressed, but other times I feel like he only wanted to get in my pants. Deep down, I'm pretty sure he never liked me as more than a friend and just did that stuff bc he was lonely or something. He had a past fwb relationship with his old girl friend, and apparently treated her pretty horribly. I have a lot of unresolved feelings towards him because we never talked about things after I confessed. I'm upset/angry that he continuously flirted with me, suspecting that I have feelings for him. I'm also annoyed that we never properly talked about it, but I'd feel weird bringing it up almost a year later. Anyway, I've spent the past few months getting over him, but we recently hung out and now I feel like my feelings came back full force. Basically we went to the beach as a group and were play fighting in the water, and later were touching the entire time we were sitting together on his couch.

So basically I came here to get some thoughts on his intentions and some advice on how to get over him. I don't want to stop talking to him/stop hanging out because we've been friends for a while and I still have fun hanging out with him, despite all that's happened. But I don't know what to do with this combination of resentment and attachment that I feel towards him. I think about him all the time now and I don't know how to distract myself. Any advice would be much appreciated

hello. well just to tell you I've been in this kind of thing too. I've known him for 3 months and ngl we were pretty close and still are. and a week after we started talking I liked him and I knew he liked me too bcz he was giving out well yk the signs and he was really cute in whatever relationship we had. we texted every day, night and day and he said pretty cute stuff and like a fortnight later he told he liked another girl in his post i was sad and told him i liked him and if we could be frnds (I'm its really messed up) but i did it anyways, and he said he liked me too but he wanted to keep it as BFFs so we agreed on it and its like a few months now and I was still after him until a few days back. It takes time bcz feelings never go quickly as they come. just busy yourself and see the negative aspects if you ever get into a relationship with hum and you will be ok soon i promise hope this helped..

I can guess how you feel, I have just been through something similar.
This guy is just messing with you, if he guessed you had feelings for him and he just wanted to be friends he shouldn't have egged you on.
I understand how good it feels to be around this person, and how desperately you want to maintain the friendship while moving on, but its not worth it. I think you should put your distance with him and stop hanging out and talking. Keep yourself busy with other friends and activities, spend the time for self development. You will be able to move on and make more meaningful connections afterwards.
Hey, you are a smart young lady who don't deserve to get stuck with someone who takes advantage of your feelings. You deserve so much more.

So I've had a crush on my guy friend for almost 2 years now. For most of our friendship, things were normal but about a year ago, we started play fighting/wrestling almost every time we hung out. It was in a group setting (we're a friend group of 3), and occasionally we'd hang out alone too. Anyways, because of all the touching I thought he might feel the same, so I confessed a few months later. He said he'd suspected that I liked him and that he just wanted to stay friends, so I asked him to stop play fighting as much since that'd been happening a lot. He agreed and respected my boundaries.

Sometimes I still wonder if he felt the same but didn't want a relationship because he has a lot of trauma and is pretty depressed, but other times I feel like he only wanted to get in my pants. Deep down, I'm pretty sure he never liked me as more than a friend and just did that stuff bc he was lonely or something. He had a past fwb relationship with his old girl friend, and apparently treated her pretty horribly. I have a lot of unresolved feelings towards him because we never talked about things after I confessed. I'm upset/angry that he continuously flirted with me, suspecting that I have feelings for him. I'm also annoyed that we never properly talked about it, but I'd feel weird bringing it up almost a year later. Anyway, I've spent the past few months getting over him, but we recently hung out and now I feel like my feelings came back full force. Basically we went to the beach as a group and were play fighting in the water, and later were touching the entire time we were sitting together on his couch.

So basically I came here to get some thoughts on his intentions and some advice on how to get over him. I don't want to stop talking to him/stop hanging out because we've been friends for a while and I still have fun hanging out with him, despite all that's happened. But I don't know what to do with this combination of resentment and attachment that I feel towards him. I think about him all the time now and I don't know how to distract myself. Any advice would be much appreciated

If you wanna get over someone, you have to stop being around them, and stop talking to them (even just online). It's that simple, and after a few months you'll have stopped pining. But otherwise it'll continue. And you should want to, given how he treated his ex. He'd treat you the same way, sooner or later.

Tyyyy this was helpful I'm definitely going to try to focus on the negative parts of it so I can detach faster

I agree he's probably just messing with me and it really sucks :/ I've honestly been considering ending our friendship because I don't know if I want to be around him anymore and I feel like it'd be the easiest way to get over him. I don't have a ton of other friends which is why it's kinda difficult to let this friendship go. Our friend group hangs out together often, so it'd feel weird to just stop altogether. At the very least I am going to put some distance between us so I can focus more on myself and get over it.

I agree, trying to get over someone and still being around them is like being determined to wield a sword by putting your hands on the blade. You need to let go before you cut yourself. and yea, history is doomed to repeat itself, especially with douches like him.