I pull so many guys but none want to date me?

Whenever I'm at a party or out and about I'm always the girl who ends up getting with a guy (often the most attractive) and after they may follow me on social media and message for a bit but then it always just ends after a couple days or they ghost me. My friends meet guys at stuff and some of them are now dating. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong

Reply 1

londonmyst

You are choosing incompatible guys who are only looking for a ons.
You need to start listening to your gut instinct and setup dealbreakers to weed out the guys that don't share your dating ambitions or are not compatible with your lifestyle preferences.
Use your life experience to break the cycle- identify the f*** boys & very hot jerks only interested in hookups and turn down their approaches.
Focus on the types of guys that you want to date and setup dealbreakers so that you don't waste time with those who are incompatible with what you are looking for.

Remember that there are plenty of single guys in the dating sea that are looking for a relationship, many of whom you are yet to meet.
There are also lots of guys on tinder & other apps that are only looking for casual sex and are honest about it.
Quite a few who lie and pretend to be interested in dating or looking for a serious relationship as a tactic to get more hookups from girls not interested in having ons.
If you are looking for a ons, setup a profile on tinder or another hookup app and say so- you'll get dozens of messages and meetup invites within a few hours.

Reply 2

j25_8

Original post by Anonymous

You’re not gonna find relationship material at a party. Frankly nobody goes there looking for a relationship specifically. So no amount of dealbreakers are gonna help you find who you’re looking for at least in parties specifically. You will only waste your time

My suggestion is change where you’re looking. Try looking somewhere more conducive to forming an emotional connection. The best places I’ve found to do this are where you are both there for something specific but can still strike up a chat with someone - in other words, at your hobbies or pastimes. Do you like music as a hobby? Go to a studio or a music festival and see who you can talk to. Do you read or write as a pastime? Go to a library and see who you can strike up a chat with. Stuff like that.

People are much more willing to have a chat than you think. I’ve met lots of my current friends in libraries in particular and to make it easier, I used to bring one of my other friends just so I could still have a good time with them even if we didn’t run into anyone we wanted to talk about things with.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by londonmyst

I understand maybe parties aren’t the best places however my friends DID meet their boyfriends there (one of them hooked up with a guy and week later he asked her to be his gf) so I just don’t know how I’m meant to know what they want without asking which would be weird if we’ve just met and scare them away. One time this guy added my social media and texted me for a few days then suddenly stopped.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by londonmyst

How am I meant to know which are the ****boys? Boys are great at acting like the nicest people ever until they get what they want and can lead you on

Reply 5

Justvisited

Original post by Anonymous

Mo

How am I meant to know which are the ****boys?

Ask them if they have sex morals.

Reply 6

drea_vh

Original post by Anonymous

Mo

How am I meant to know which are the ****boys? Boys are great at acting like the nicest people ever until they get what they want and can lead you on

literally just ask them indirect questions about respect for women or consent. Then if they act odd about it its a big indicator and you havn't said anything awkward.

Reply 7

Justvisited

Original post by drea_vh

literally just ask them indirect questions about respect for women or consent.

You think all FBs are rapists?

Reply 8

Maniac_Marcus

Original post by Anonymous

Stop partying if you're looking for sincere commitment and to build a happy family with a man who can sustain you and your children

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Maybe you need to work on improving your personality?

Sounds like men are initially interested (so must think you're physically attractive), but then lose interest after talking to you?

Reply 10

Schotel

Seems to be you're attracting individuals who are only interested in one thing.

It would be best, to disassociate trying to get a relationship with any of them.

Best of luck. :smile: