The Student Room Group

Career choices for your kids (or future kids), whatever flows your boat!

This was a random topic that popped into my head, so don't mind me!
Also, apologies in advance if some of the things I say don't make sense, could end up being a waffling sesh.
If you have kids currently or you are planning on having kids in the foreseeable future, would you force them to get into the career that you want them to get into? I do think that 'force' is a strong word, but right now that's the first word that came to my head. Also, this is all hypothetical, so if you can or atleast try to, go with it!
For example: I have an 11 year old who is starting secondary school. I tell them that I'm expecting all 9's and 8's, and that I want them to focus on becoming a Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer or Banker. There's no other options for them, pick from one of those four and focus on it.
What are your thoughts? If you tell your child to focus on one career, is that because you want the best for them? Do you think that is the ideal upbringing that all children should have? Or, would you guide your child, advice them and let them create their own path?
Forget what your culture says or what you've been bought up to say/think, I want to know your own opinions on it.

If you agree - fair enough I respect it, if you disagree - then fair enough, if you can, try and say why.
I think that it's an interesting topic to talk about. Also, I personally don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

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Any careers in mind that ideally you'd prefer that your child did not get into? Or would you be proud of them regardless if you don't agree with their choices?
No, I wouldn't pressure or force a future child to decide from a few career options that I had chosen for them.
But I would encourage a future child to avoid some work roles and industries that are more hassle to survive working in for longer than 2 days than anything else.
Reply 3
No I wouldn’t force them either, they can choose anything that has good job prospects and something they enjoy for example accounting, doctor, maths and the sciences, engineering, doing geography or history then going into law, pharmacy etc
I’ll be getting my future children to attend language classes too for something they like so I know they won’t be doing a language degree. They could even do a degree apprenticeship too. As long as it’s a degree with a good future and something my child enjoys, I’ll recommend it to them but they get to be the final decision maker.

Edit
But like Londonmyst has said, I’ll try to get them to avoid some industries and some stuff that doesn’t give a good quality of life. That kind of thing.
But I’ll always tell my children to try their best. Even if they fail something, they should stand up and try again and keep working hard. I’d like them to get 7-9s but that’s too far in the future, maybe I’ll go to America and they’ll go school there?
(edited 2 years ago)
i would encourage and tell them they should try their best to get really good grades! i will be strict with their grades if they don't try hard enough. i will never force them to have a job that they really don't want to do. that's their choice for their future. i will give them advice and will say no to stupid ideas/choices that won't go very well but i will not force them to take a subject or degree or job.
Reply 5
Massively disagree. I don’t have kids yet, but when I do I’d never try to force them into a specific career or tell them that I was expecting all top grades, all the time. That stuff puts far too much pressure on kids and messes up their mental health.
Original post by Honey57
No I wouldn’t force them either, they can choose anything that has good job prospects and something they enjoy for example accounting, doctor, maths and the sciences, engineering, doing geography or history then going into law, pharmacy etc
I’ll be getting my future children to attend language classes too for something they like so I know they won’t be doing a language degree. They could even do a degree apprenticeship too. As long as it’s a degree with a good future and something my child enjoys, I’ll recommend it to them but they get to be the final decision maker.

Edit
But like Londonmyst has said, I’ll try to get them to avoid some industries and some stuff that doesn’t give a good quality of life. That kind of thing.

I get that. Also, just reading through some of the career examples that you mentioned in your post and I wanted to ask you, if your child wanted to become a chef (a random one, but it's a different example), and let's say that they were heavily passionate about it, would you be fine with them pursuing that career?
Original post by gracieee16
i would encourage and tell them they should try their best to get really good grades! i will be strict with their grades if they don't try hard enough. i will never force them to have a job that they really don't want to do. that's their choice for their future. i will give them advice and will say no to stupid ideas/choices that won't go very well but i will not force them to take a subject or degree or job.

Let's just say that to you it sounds stupid, but to your child it's not as they are heavily invested in that type of career, then what?
Reply 8
Original post by Leslie Knope
I get that. Also, just reading through some of the career examples that you mentioned in your post and I wanted to ask you, if your child wanted to become a chef (a random one, but it's a different example), and let's say that they were heavily passionate about it, would you be fine with them pursuing that career?


That’s when it gets a bit tricky. I’ll actually tell them it’s better to get a degree in something you’re interested in and something good. After that I’ll help them open up a restaurant or something similar but only if I know that his cooking is pretty good and that he/she has a good plan. But sometimes things don’t go to plan so it’s good to have a degree as well just in case.
Original post by jayls
Massively disagree. I don’t have kids yet, but when I do I’d never try to force them into a specific career or tell them that I was expecting all top grades, all the time. That stuff puts far too much pressure on kids and messes up their mental health.

I like this point. Let's just say your child comes up to you one day and they tell you that they don't know what career they want to get into, what type of advice would you give them for that?
Original post by Honey57
That’s when it gets a bit tricky. I’ll actually tell them it’s better to get a degree in something you’re interested in and something good. After that I’ll help them open up a restaurant or something similar but only if I know that his cooking is pretty good and that he/she has a good plan. But sometimes things don’t go to plan so it’s good to have a degree as well just in case.

So you think that getting a degree is important? As like a back-up option if the first option goes bust?
Original post by Leslie Knope
So you think that getting a degree is important? As like a back-up option if the first option goes bust?

Precisely, and I believe the experience in getting a degree is also really important for kids as well as they find themselves through the world.
Reply 12
Original post by Leslie Knope
I like this point. Let's just say your child comes up to you one day and they tell you that they don't know what career they want to get into, what type of advice would you give them for that?


I’m not sure of the exact advice I’d give them, kids are a long way off me so I haven’t really given it much thought. But I guess I’d tell them to think about the kind of things they like doing, what they’re good at, encourage them to take a few aptitude tests and career quizzes and see if they’re interested in any of the results, then see if they can get any work experience.
Original post by Leslie Knope
I like this point. Let's just say your child comes up to you one day and they tell you that they don't know what career they want to get into, what type of advice would you give them for that?

For this point I’d actually get my child to look at a university website for example Manchester and look at the courses A-Z about which one is interesting to them. Then I’ll tell them to do research on the degree like what are the career prospects, is the salary decent, is the work hour fine in terms of having a good quality of life? I did this when I was 13 and it rly helped.
I might try to dissuade them from certain paths, but I they'd be their own person to do what they wanted without me stopping them.
Original post by Leslie Knope
Let's just say that to you it sounds stupid, but to your child it's not as they are heavily invested in that type of career, then what?


ok then, i will let them see for themselves but i will tell them i think it's a bad idea. i can't stop them from choosing their dream job/choice. they can have the choice to prove me wrong i suppose. anything can happen.
Original post by Rufus The Red
I might try to dissuade them from certain paths, but I they'd be their own person to do what they wanted without me stopping them.

PRSOM.
Original post by Leslie Knope
This was a random topic that popped into my head, so don't mind me!
Also, apologies in advance if some of the things I say don't make sense, could end up being a waffling sesh.
If you have kids currently or you are planning on having kids in the foreseeable future, would you force them to get into the career that you want them to get into? I do think that 'force' is a strong word, but right now that's the first word that came to my head. Also, this is all hypothetical, so if you can or atleast try to, go with it!
For example: I have an 11 year old who is starting secondary school. I tell them that I'm expecting all 9's and 8's, and that I want them to focus on becoming a Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer or Banker. There's no other options for them, pick from one of those four and focus on it.
What are your thoughts? If you tell your child to focus on one career, is that because you want the best for them? Do you think that is the ideal upbringing that all children should have? Or, would you guide your child, advice them and let them create their own path?
Forget what your culture says or what you've been bought up to say/think, I want to know your own opinions on it.

If you agree - fair enough I respect it, if you disagree - then fair enough, if you can, try and say why.
I think that it's an interesting topic to talk about. Also, I personally don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

I disagree. I personally was given a wide breadth of choice of career paths, as in 'do what you want'.

I think the only way a child will have motivation is when they find something they're interested in and they make that their own personal life goal. We don't set life goals for other people. They have their own brains to do that for themselves. I think parents can pave the foundation for this to occur, but not set them on a path from the start where they know nothing else.

Yes encourage them to find a job that will help them settle down in later life and explain that maybe one career choice may not be as successful as another, again it's the child's choice to decide that in the end. Parents are there to guide, support and advice. Not to dictate, scold or force.

Mistakes exist to become learning opportunities. One setback leads to them learning from it and avoiding it happening again and altering their future approach.

What's life if they don't enjoy it? So, why can't they choose to do something they're interested in?

Okay I've waffled a lot oops
(edited 2 years ago)
I give my kids my advice, and my opinion, but I wouldn't ever force a career onto them, I think that's an awful thing to do to someone. It's not my life!

One of my sons wanted to be a policeman until very recently. That one I tried to dissuade, but ultimately I said it was up to him. I'd have supported him if he was adamant. He's changed his mind now anyway.

I would strongly try to dissuade any dangerous jobs though. Army, firefighting, anything like that.

As it goes, at the moment my daughter doesn't quite know what she wants to do yet, but she wants it to be in the Classics field.
My eldest son wants to work in the E-sports industry.
Next son wants to be a games developer.
Youngest son wants to be a vet (he's 8 - this could change!)

My mother still resents me for not becoming a doctor or an optician. That's a horrible thing to live with, to feel as though you're a disappointment.
Original post by gracieee16
i would encourage and tell them they should try their best to get really good grades! i will be strict with their grades if they don't try hard enough. i will never force them to have a job that they really don't want to do. that's their choice for their future. i will give them advice and will say no to stupid ideas/choices that won't go very well but i will not force them to take a subject or degree or job.


I agree, same here

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