How can we get back to how we used to be?

Anon plz!

Basically me and bf are close to breaking point. My bf says that we have lost that spark that we had when we first started going out 4 months ago. This is true but I never thought it enough to end things, although he seems to think things will never change.
I really want to prove him wrong because he means a lot to me and I dont want to end it because of this.
How can I relight that spark that we first had? Without resorting to anything sexual is a must by the way. I know that's not what he wants right now.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

CarlaJade

You've lost the spark after four months? :/

Im not so good with relationships, this is my longest. But is that a bad thing? Should we not have lost that yet?

Reply 2

squeak

"Maybe he's just not that into you"

seriously though, you can't relight the spark unless he wants to as well. Talk to him. After 4 months if it's rocky, it might not be a good idea to carry on gong out, but you need to sort it out between you two. It's what being in a relationship is about, communication.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

He says he does have feelings for me but not as much as I do for him, which I knew from the very beginning, it always tends to be like that for me and I accept it, so that doesnt bother me. Which others may find stupid but I think as long as there are feelings, it doesnt matter if it's the same as mine.

I cant describe how im feeling. I just feel so betrayed because we had so many good times and I believed he loved me because he told me that and always said he did when I asked if he was telling the truth. There have been so many times where I have thought about ending it because things didnt seem to be working out but I always ended up being glad that I didnt because things always turned around.
I know the facts are just in my face but I dont want to let go of him. We havent broken up as yet but I need to talk to him tonight. I look around and all I see are tihngs that remind me of him, I dont feel ready to leave him, I dont want to, I really want to try and make things good again, it's always worked in the past.
Im such a mess right now, I dont think ive ever been like this. Everything I believed about our relationship just seems to have been proven wrong and I feel so betrayed and vunerable. I dont think I cant trust him or anyone again. Im sorry for ranting but I cant describe how this has made me feel. When I asked him if he was dumping me, he said no but I think we need to think about things. Which made no sense to me. Either he didnt want to sound harsh and just say yes or he just wants to talk about it more to find something we can do I guess.

:frown:

Reply 4

**CutiePie**

Oh dear. Look to be honest after 4 months then it's not good. I remember me and my boyfriend after 4 months.. we hadn't even argued at that stage.
He doesn't sound that into you to be honest, he sounds as if he's making excuses as he doesn't want to hurt you.
I know you don't want to hear these things right now, but 4 months isn't long. If he's treating you like this now and doesn't love you as much as you love him then it's not worth it. Find someone who loves you like you love them or your always going to feel a little bit un-even.