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does someone not deserve love because theyre overweight?

does being overweight override every positive quality one might have?

like it seems everything about you boils down to "youre fat". It's like an identity thing? like if youre fat then pretty much nothing else matters youre unattractive and "untouchable"? can't overweight boys be funny, smart, kind and hard working? some enjoy food or don't find exercise meaningful, why are those things such evil crimes?
Reply 1
Depends on the reason for being overweight. If it's poor diet and lack of exercise, the thinking is that if someone can't care for themselves, how can they care for someone else? What can you do as a couple if someone is lazy? What do you do about meals out or cooking? Plus there's the potential health issues.
Reply 2
Original post by Surnia
Depends on the reason for being overweight. If it's poor diet and lack of exercise, the thinking is that if someone can't care for themselves, how can they care for someone else? What can you do as a couple if someone is lazy? What do you do about meals out or cooking? Plus there's the potential health issues.

Someone who eats 500cals more than they burn in a day can be overweight.

500kcals is approx a snickers bar and a piece of bread.

Are you saying that someone who lives the exact same lifestyle than you but eats 500kcal more a day than you do is lazy, can't care for someone else and you can't do much with them?
No one is entitled to or "deserves" love. People are entitled to enforce their standards on who they love. If that means that being overweight does, indeed, override every positive quality one might have, then so be it.

You have two options-
1) Accept that many people will not be romantically interested on you based on your weight, and peruse those for whom being overweight is not a deal breaker.
2) Loose weight.

P.s. Exercise is objectively meaningful, regardless of whether you find meaning in it.
Original post by Anonymous
Someone who eats 500cals more than they burn in a day can be overweight.

500kcals is approx a snickers bar and a piece of bread.

Are you saying that someone who lives the exact same lifestyle than you but eats 500kcal more a day than you do is lazy, can't care for someone else and you can't do much with them?

Yes, if they kept doing that 'snickers & bread' routine every day without fail they would end up so obese that the fire brigade need to knock down a wall to get them out and wash them with a hose & hoist. If someone is determined to consume excess.... every day, then yeah they got serious life problems and a lack of self control that would bleed over into other areas of life and affect how others treat them... not just based on appearance but the obvious lack of self control. (Would you trust a cop that literally can't resist temptation? What about a nurse? or a bank worked? naaaaah, that causes issues)
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Are you saying that someone who lives the exact same lifestyle than you but eats 500kcal more a day than you do is lazy, can't care for someone else and you can't do much with them?

No. Reread my post.
No, weight shouldn't affect whether someone loves you. If negative traits like gluttony or laziness caused someone to be overweight, they might be considered unlikable because of those traits, but that doesn't directly have to do with weight. If someone was really kind and honest but also lazy and overweight, I don't understand why they would be considered unlovable. Finding exercise not meaningful would indicate poor health choices though. Also, some people are overweight because of health conditions like type 1 diabetes or hypothyroid.
Original post by Anonymous
Someone who eats 500cals more than they burn in a day can be overweight.

500kcals is approx a snickers bar and a piece of bread.

Are you saying that someone who lives the exact same lifestyle than you but eats 500kcal more a day than you do is lazy, can't care for someone else and you can't do much with them?

You can play around with the figures in this weight maintenance & loss calculator:
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/bwp

The more you weigh the more calories you need per day to maintain your current weight.
So that someone with a given diet that started eating an additional snickers bar and slice of bread per day whilst changing nothing else would increase to a certain weight over time and then level off there.

The subject of weight gain, loss and maintenance is a complex one. As it depends on so many factors. There's videos covering the different factors here:
https://nutritionfacts.org/topics/weight-gain/page/4/

When it comes to dating; most people - men and women - are not perfectionists.
You can be clinically obese whilst still having a successful dating life and successful relationships. However, you would probably need to have some compensating factors to offset you being heavily overweight.
If you are male, have a BMI of over 30, come over as being mentally weak and you have no Game then that is not a good combination when it comes to you attracting women. That's not to say that it would be impossible for you to find love. It's just that it would be relatively harder for you than it would for a man in better shape that comes over as being mentally strong and who has good male to female social skills.

Your weight is important. Not just for dating. But for your general feeling of wellbeing, your reserves of strength and stamina, your long term good health prospects and your longevity.
It is entirely your choice what lifestyle you have. We will all have ill health and die eventually some day. It's just that it makes sense to hedge your bets and to avoid self-destructive lifestyles.

I would gently urge every man to aspire to be The Joint Best Boyfriend In The World. It's a large group. Would The Joint Best Boyfriend In The World let his body go to seed? He might do if he had a set of hugely compensating factors in other areas. Otherwise he wouldn't.

Women are attracted to strength in men. For some women it's physical strength. For many women it's mental and emotional strength. Do you feel that as you are now, today, that you will come over to women as a man with mental and emotional strength? If not, doing whatever it takes to fix this will be the key to you getting romantic success.
I would say that in our society ‘overweight’ can be used to describe a perfectly healthy person who simply isn’t skinny or massively in shape, which is unfortunate. I know people who work out regularly and don’t eat loads who just naturally carry a bit more weight. They’re not actually overweight but I wouldn’t be surprised if people considered them to be. It’s sad that there’s such an emphasis on your size. I think ultimately if you’re confident in yourself then you’ll find love. It’s who you are that people ultimately fall for.. looks may get you through the door but if you build a friendship and have an attractive personality it can easily turn to love.
Answers are likely to vary a lot depending on subjective opinions and attraction dealbreakers.
Personal beauty standards, individual attraction dealbreakers and how the context of "love" is interpreted are also likely to play a part.
Different people have very different attraction dealbreakers, beauty standards, relationship ambitions and preferences.
Some people find plump and chubbier body types more attractive than thigh gaps, six packs or big biceps.
Other individuals are exclusively attracted to people who are highly overweight or visibly obese and unhealthy with limited mobility as a result of their lifestyle choices.

Most sighted people are visual and will have a few attraction dealbreakers that are connected to body appearance or a specific physical look/type.
This usually includes elements like age, body shape, facial complexion, height and weight.
Some people's attraction is more looks orientated and favours a specific physical type.
While other people's attraction is more personality orientated and they can be attracted to a variety of different physical types as long as the personalities or values meet their attraction dealbreakers.

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