Could someone please mark my Macbeth essay and give feedback?

Hello!
I have had a quick skim through. I did my GCSEs a while ago and I got a grade 9 in lit and I do English language at A-level.

I like how you guide the reader through your essay using a clear topic sentence, perhaps substitute 'violent' with a different synonym, which could potentially help you to explore further the different strands of violence, like you begin to do. Violent has connotations of cruelty, viciousness and savagery, but it could also imply passion and potency. Could you perhaps explore the latter avenues, using quotations to back this up?
I like how you explore violence as a weakness as you are beginning to answer the 'how far' element. Perhaps talk about how Shakespeare uses blood as a motif. Initially, as seen with 'blood will have blood', it portrays how crazed Macbeth is, as you have said (which was great btw). You could link it to 'Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand', which indicates how violence could be one of Macbeth's fatal flaws and expand on this point.
I think you've done well as it is, just a few tweaks, maybe a paragraph or so more, and you will be excellent! Well done, hope this helps x

Hello, can I have some feedback on my AQA GCSE Macbeth essay please.





Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a violent character throughout the play but also show Macbeth with some weaknesses. Shakespeare has done this to warn the audience about the dangers and consequences of excessive violence.

In the extract, Macbeth is presented as very violent. However, this is seen as a brave and honourable thing. Macbeth kills the traitor and is loyal to his king. To get to the traitor, Macbeth ‘carved out his passage’. The verb ‘carved’ has connotations of carving meat and shows how effortless Macbeth got to the traitor. Macbeth then proceeds to ‘unseam’ the enemy from ‘the nave to the chaps’. This horrific imagery clearly shows to the reader how violent Macbeth is. The verb ‘unseamed’ again shows how effortless Macbeth killed the enemy. The vivid description and imagery of Macbeth killing the traitor clearly portrays the extreme violence of Macbeth, but also hints that this could lead to his eventual downfall. It is important to understand that this extract comes before the audience see Macbeth for the first time. Shakespeare has done this to ensure that audience’s first impressions of Macbeth are that he is an extremely violent person.

In Act 1 Scene 5, Macbeth’s violence is greatly contrasted by his relationship with his wife. In the Jacobean era, women were expected to be submissive and obedient towards their husband. They were not seen as equal to men. However, Macbeth refers to his wife as his ‘dearest partner in greatness’. This would seem unusual to the audience as it suggests that Macbeth sees his wife as his equal. Moreover, his wife is able to manipulate and convince him into killing Duncan, the king. This could portray Macbeth as weak as he has allowed his wife to manipulate and influence him. In the Jacobean era, killing the king was seen as a crime against God. This further emphasises just how easily Macbeth was influenced, as he is now willing to go against God.

In contrast, later in the play, Macbeth is shown as being very violent again. He orders the deaths of Macduff’s wife and children. This greatly contrasts with his violence in Act 1 Scene 2, where his violence was seen as a positive and honourable thing. Here, the reader views his violence as horrific and evil. It also presents the idea that Macbeth will kill anyone who poses a threat to him and will ensure that he gets what he wants. This clearly conveys that Macbeth is a violent and evil character. In Act 3, Macbeth says ‘blood will have blood’. This shows that Macbeth understand that murder will lead to even more murder, but he still continues killing anyway. This emphasises the fact that Macbeth is a very violent character.

To conclude, Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a violent character, but also presents some of his weaknesses. Shakespeare has done this to warn the audience about the consequences of extreme violence.