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abortion - am I being stupid?

My spouse and I want a child but she has a genetic disease that has a 50% chance of being passed on. She told me we could have sex then get an abortion at 12 weeks when it is tested for the disease if it has it.

I looked up what a 12 week abortion entails and it seemed horrific. My spouse told me I shouldn't have looked it up and maintained ignorance.

She doesn't want to do IVF and just wants to do things naturally.

Am I being silly? I don't believe in God, or the afterlife or anything religious but I do feel like abortion is wrong especially at 12 weeks.
No, you are not being silly. :smile:

I understand some of how you feel.
I have a few hereditary heath issues in my family tree as a result of centuries of endogamy and arranged marriages to biological relatives.
I will be going down the egg screening and ivf coparenting routes.
Good luck!
Reply 2
Ay look man, you don't need to do anything that makes you feel like this. Abortion is a horrific experience for a lot of people(mothers and fathers alike).

You're in your right mind to refuse something so reckless and morally questionable. You're a human first and foremost.
Hey! Abortion is a womans choice as its her body. But a child is God given in my eyes and if that child was to be born with an illness then that was his will. Also, if theres that high of a chance, talk to her. Discuss maybe adoption or open up more on IVF and discuss risks of abortion. Also, maybe if you guys dont want children in the future idk how young you are. Legally, you can have an abortion before 6 months but the way this has been worded seems careless and you cant really have an abortion when you feel like it. It strains the nhs on where to put boundaries and this is a typical slippery slope argument. Maybe, use good contraceptive methods that reduces chance of baby but if you want a baby that bad. My advice is to speak to a doctor to guide you. Abortion in this case would be frowned upon because if you know theres a high chance of a peoblem, then its not the best idea. Talk between yourselves and seek help from professionals. IVF is the best shot but maybe try convincing ur spouse. Wishing you luck!
Reply 4
Not that having an abortion is wrong in anyway(it's even recommended in a lot of cases) but wagering it out like this on a game of chance is just...
You can be against it, in the same way she can be for it. IVF can be expensive and time-consuming, with success not guaranteed. If you can't agree that's a compatibility issue, but ultimately it is her body so she gets the final say over what happens to it.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey! Abortion is a womans choice as its her body. But a child is God given in my eyes and if that child was to be born with an illness then that was his will. Also, if theres that high of a chance, talk to her. Discuss maybe adoption or open up more on IVF and discuss risks of abortion. Also, maybe if you guys dont want children in the future idk how young you are. Legally, you can have an abortion before 6 months but the way this has been worded seems careless and you cant really have an abortion when you feel like it. It strains the nhs on where to put boundaries and this is a typical slippery slope argument. Maybe, use good contraceptive methods that reduces chance of baby but if you want a baby that bad. My advice is to speak to a doctor to guide you. Abortion in this case would be frowned upon because if you know theres a high chance of a peoblem, then its not the best idea. Talk between yourselves and seek help from professionals. IVF is the best shot but maybe try convincing ur spouse. Wishing you luck!

The description for 12 weeks was horrific, I can't imagine what an abortion at 6 months would entail. :afraid:

I'm gonna try talking to her about IVF because abortion just doesn't sit right with me. That's why I'm asking - I have no reason to be against abortion and fully support a woman's right to choose what she does with her body but I know if it was me I couldn't go through with it. :colondollar:
Original post by Anonymous
The description for 12 weeks was horrific, I can't imagine what an abortion at 6 months would entail. :afraid:

I'm gonna try talking to her about IVF because abortion just doesn't sit right with me. That's why I'm asking - I have no reason to be against abortion and fully support a woman's right to choose what she does with her body but I know if it was me I couldn't go through with it. :colondollar:


Yes IVF is ur best bet if u want a child. But requires a lot of communication between each other and professional advice
Original post by Anonymous
The description for 12 weeks was horrific, I can't imagine what an abortion at 6 months would entail. :afraid:

I'm gonna try talking to her about IVF because abortion just doesn't sit right with me. That's why I'm asking - I have no reason to be against abortion and fully support a woman's right to choose what she does with her body but I know if it was me I couldn't go through with it. :colondollar:

Abortion doesn't generally happen after 21 weeks, after this point it typically only happens if the mothers life is in danger or if the baby has passed in the womb.
Original post by Anonymous
My spouse and I want a child but she has a genetic disease that has a 50% chance of being passed on. She told me we could have sex then get an abortion at 12 weeks when it is tested for the disease if it has it.

I looked up what a 12 week abortion entails and it seemed horrific. My spouse told me I shouldn't have looked it up and maintained ignorance.

She doesn't want to do IVF and just wants to do things naturally.

Am I being silly? I don't believe in God, or the afterlife or anything religious but I do feel like abortion is wrong especially at 12 weeks.


Most abortions in England, Wales and Scotland are carried out before 24 weeks of pregnancy. They can be carried out after 24 weeks in very limited circumstances for example, if the mother's life is at risk or the child would be born with a severe disability.


I would only agree with an abortion if it's due to circumstances beyond anyone control or medical issues with the unborn child.



Although there's is risk of the gene being passed on to any children it doesn't necessary could be passed on....

IVF is expensive and long process..
Original post by Tracey_W
Most abortions in England, Wales and Scotland are carried out before 24 weeks of pregnancy. They can be carried out after 24 weeks in very limited circumstances for example, if the mother's life is at risk or the child would be born with a severe disability.


I would only agree with an abortion if it's due to circumstances beyond anyone control or medical issues with the unborn child.



Although there's is risk of the gene being passed on to any children it doesn't necessary could be passed on....

IVF is expensive and long process..

If she passed on this gene it would mean the kid is unlikely to live to their 20's. It's pretty serious.
Original post by Tracey_W
Most abortions in England, Wales and Scotland are carried out before 24 weeks of pregnancy. They can be carried out after 24 weeks in very limited circumstances for example, if the mother's life is at risk or the child would be born with a severe disability.


I would only agree with an abortion if it's due to circumstances beyond anyone control or medical issues with the unborn child.



Although there's is risk of the gene being passed on to any children it doesn't necessary could be passed on....

IVF is expensive and long process..

I am glad to hear that abortion doesn't happen after 24 weeks. It made me feel so upset just reading about what it entailed at 12 weeks. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I am glad to hear that abortion doesn't happen after 24 weeks. It made me feel so upset just reading about what it entailed at 12 weeks. :frown:

It only happens rarely after 24 weeks but generally it's done before the 24 weeks stage of pregnancy.

Yeah it can be horrible to read about this and can upset people who are not prepared for what will happen with the process.

I wouldn't personal get involved with doing this within my job.
Original post by Anonymous
If she passed on this gene it would mean the kid is unlikely to live to their 20's. It's pretty serious.

Yes it possibility she can pass on the gene

And I understand that the kid could possiblity not live beyond a certain age.

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