The Student Room Group

fear of failure (anxeity) help

so i’ve skipped 2 formal a level mocks now because i knew i was gonna fail due to lack of revision (completely my fault). it’s stupid because there is no harm in failing, i won’t get kicked out or my parents won’t get mad. like literally NOTHING will happen. but i has such intense anxety about it, i couldn’t even sleep. i just feel like a ****ing failure. now i’m anxious to even go school because i know my teacher will ask me why i missed them. ****.

i wish i didn’t care so much about getting humiliated and just did things for myself. i just feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack when i next step into school. i don’t even know if i’ll go for a while. if i go tommorow they will likely make me resit, which i’m gonna fail too. i just can’t even revise for my other mocks with all this stress.

i slept like 4 hours and even though i’m skipping school i can’t sleep though i’m so tired. i wish failure motivated me like some other people. it just makes me feel terrible and demotivates me like hell.

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Original post by Anonymous
so i’ve skipped 2 formal a level mocks now because i knew i was gonna fail due to lack of revision (completely my fault). it’s stupid because there is no harm in failing, i won’t get kicked out or my parents won’t get mad. like literally NOTHING will happen. but i has such intense anxety about it, i couldn’t even sleep. i just feel like a ****ing failure. now i’m anxious to even go school because i know my teacher will ask me why i missed them. ****.

i wish i didn’t care so much about getting humiliated and just did things for myself. i just feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack when i next step into school. i don’t even know if i’ll go for a while. if i go tommorow they will likely make me resit, which i’m gonna fail too. i just can’t even revise for my other mocks with all this stress.

i slept like 4 hours and even though i’m skipping school i can’t sleep though i’m so tired. i wish failure motivated me like some other people. it just makes me feel terrible and demotivates me like hell.

Maybe see your GP if you feel you can't manage alone :smile:
Original post by TriplexA
Maybe see your GP if you feel you can't manage alone :smile:

This is probably the best advice you'll get OP, I struggled for ages, but I'm getting on anxiety meds. Sometimes medical help is just needed so that you can then go and focus and work.
Original post by CatInTheCorner
This is probably the best advice you'll get OP, I struggled for ages, but I'm getting on anxiety meds. Sometimes medical help is just needed so that you can then go and focus and work.

Thanks for sharing this to help the OP.

I hope you're in a much better place now mentally :smile:

Take care and best wishes
Original post by TriplexA
Thanks for sharing this to help the OP.

I hope you're in a much better place now mentally :smile:

Take care and best wishes

Thank you! I was so upset for so long I could never get round to working, until I realised it was like asking myself to run on a broken leg. It just wasn't going to happen, and it wasn't my fault. I'm seeing my GP friday, so hopefully I'll be somewhere better after that! OP, getting help isn't giving up, it's the opposite!!
It might also be a shot in the dark but if you are struggling to getting to revise (even if it's all pretty and scheduled, etc) it may also worth be talking to your GP about ADHD. It may explain why you've been putting off revision (though it is not the only possible explanation), and a co-morbidity of ADHD is what is known as RSD, AKA rejection sensitivity dysphoria. RSD is described as 'a condition in which a person feels extreme emotional sensitivity and pain due to perceived or actual rejection, teasing, or criticism.'. If you think this fits you and this issue has been persisting for a long period of time, I would recommend chatting to your GP about it, especially if some version of this (or even a struggle to revise/meet deadlines) has been a struggle in the past too. Best of luck OP, happy to answer any questions you may have :yes:
Original post by CatInTheCorner
Thank you! I was so upset for so long I could never get round to working, until I realised it was like asking myself to run on a broken leg. It just wasn't going to happen, and it wasn't my fault. I'm seeing my GP friday, so hopefully I'll be somewhere better after that! OP, getting help isn't giving up, it's the opposite!!

Hope it goes well :smile:
Original post by CatInTheCorner
Thank you! I was so upset for so long I could never get round to working, until I realised it was like asking myself to run on a broken leg. It just wasn't going to happen, and it wasn't my fault. I'm seeing my GP friday, so hopefully I'll be somewhere better after that! OP, getting help isn't giving up, it's the opposite!!

We LOVE self care, even if it's hard sometimes. Go you! One thing I also didn't realise was how much vitamin D affected mood and SAD, so don't forget to bask in this wonderful spring sun :hugs:
Original post by barror1
It might also be a shot in the dark but if you are struggling to getting to revise (even if it's all pretty and scheduled, etc) it may also worth be talking to your GP about ADHD. It may explain why you've been putting off revision (though it is not the only possible explanation), and a co-morbidity of ADHD is what is known as RSD, AKA rejection sensitivity dysphoria. RSD is described as 'a condition in which a person feels extreme emotional sensitivity and pain due to perceived or actual rejection, teasing, or criticism.'. If you think this fits you and this issue has been persisting for a long period of time, I would recommend chatting to your GP about it, especially if some version of this (or even a struggle to revise/meet deadlines) has been a struggle in the past too. Best of luck OP, happy to answer any questions you may have :yes:

Woah, actually, very helpful, I might steal that to talk with my GP. Thanks
Original post by barror1
We LOVE self care, even if it's hard sometimes. Go you! One thing I also didn't realise was how much vitamin D affected mood and SAD, so don't forget to bask in this wonderful spring sun :hugs:

Thank you! Especially with it being A-level year, every day I can't work is stressing me out! Yes!! I take it daily, also v.good for covid outcomes apparently :smile:
Original post by CatInTheCorner
Woah, actually, very helpful, I might steal that to talk with my GP. Thanks

No problem! I always thought that I just needed to 'work harder' or wait for my mood to clear up to be productive. Turns out it was just undiagnosed ADHD running rampant until my final year of undergrad :laugh: It's usually not caught in women at a young age so people are only realising now that they should pursue a diagnosis! If you're curious, Psychiatry UK has some great information (I used them for my diagnosis on the NHS) and their ASRS form is a great start to find out if there is something else going on behind the scenes. Check it out here: https://psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose/
There are also some great twitter comics/YouTube accounts I can recommend if you're interested (OP this goes for you too!) :smile:
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by barror1
No problem! I always thought that I just needed to 'work harder' or wait for my mood to clear up to be productive. Turns out it was just undiagnosed ADHD running rampant until my final year of undergrad :laugh: It's usually not caught in women at a young age so people are only realising now that they should pursue a diagnosis! If you're curious, Psychiatry UK has some great information (I used them for my diagnosis on the NHS) and their ASRS form is a great start to find out if there is something else going on behind the scenes. Check it out here: https://psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose/
There are also some great twitter comics/YouTube accounts I can recommend if you're interested (OP this goes for you too!) :smile:

Woah, thanks so much, autism runs in the family, so I think this actually might be it. I can't sit straight ( or do anything straight lol ) at all. Is treatment helpful? Thanks so so much!!
Loving the positive and supportive vibe of this thread :smile:
Original post by CatInTheCorner
Woah, thanks so much, autism runs in the family, so I think this actually might be it. I can't sit straight ( or do anything straight lol ) at all. Is treatment helpful? Thanks so so much!!

I started stimulants in January and it's a night and day difference! I'm still dealing with some low mood and tiredness, but I think that's more the final year of uni getting on everyone's backs :redface:

I am so much more focused though, obviously there are still off days but on the whole I can work on something for more than 20 minutes at a time now. It's crazy! :u:

Oh and another thing, if you're starting uni next year definitely start the diagnosis process now and see if you can get on a cancellation list for a diagnosis appointment. The sooner you get it, the sooner you can get support at uni with exams (I have extra time now) and specialist mentoring and software through student finance/ disabled students allowance. Hope this helps!
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by TriplexA
Loving the positive and supportive vibe of this thread :smile:

I've completely hijacked it and am now realising I might have ADHD lmao, sorry OP!
Original post by TriplexA
Loving the positive and supportive vibe of this thread :smile:

Honestly I love it :love:
Original post by CatInTheCorner
I've completely hijacked it and am now realising I might have ADHD lmao, sorry OP!

Aha no it's ok! I'm hoping that by talking about my experience to you it may help OP as well. Either of you, feel free to ask me any questions about ADHD and I will be more than happy to answer :h:
(edited 2 years ago)
I recommend going to your local GP and demanding lorazepam 1mg day and night. Without the waffle, this FIXED me. I was struggling to do anything, no motivation, just stress and worry increasing my average anxiety levels. But, lorazepam 1mg changed all that. Im the most focused guy i know and i feel like i can study for hours, theres no stopping me. In 4 months, my grades went from E's to A's, A levels are a walk in the park. Trust me you need Lorazepam 1mg, its life changing.
Original post by Anonymous
so i’ve skipped 2 formal a level mocks now because i knew i was gonna fail due to lack of revision (completely my fault). it’s stupid because there is no harm in failing, i won’t get kicked out or my parents won’t get mad. like literally NOTHING will happen. but i has such intense anxety about it, i couldn’t even sleep. i just feel like a ****ing failure. now i’m anxious to even go school because i know my teacher will ask me why i missed them. ****.

i wish i didn’t care so much about getting humiliated and just did things for myself. i just feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack when i next step into school. i don’t even know if i’ll go for a while. if i go tommorow they will likely make me resit, which i’m gonna fail too. i just can’t even revise for my other mocks with all this stress.

i slept like 4 hours and even though i’m skipping school i can’t sleep though i’m so tired. i wish failure motivated me like some other people. it just makes me feel terrible and demotivates me like hell.

Just don’t go in for them, your health is more important
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
so i’ve skipped 2 formal a level mocks now because i knew i was gonna fail due to lack of revision (completely my fault). it’s stupid because there is no harm in failing, i won’t get kicked out or my parents won’t get mad. like literally NOTHING will happen. but i has such intense anxety about it, i couldn’t even sleep. i just feel like a ****ing failure. now i’m anxious to even go school because i know my teacher will ask me why i missed them. ****.

i wish i didn’t care so much about getting humiliated and just did things for myself. i just feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack when i next step into school. i don’t even know if i’ll go for a while. if i go tommorow they will likely make me resit, which i’m gonna fail too. i just can’t even revise for my other mocks with all this stress.

i slept like 4 hours and even though i’m skipping school i can’t sleep though i’m so tired. i wish failure motivated me like some other people. it just makes me feel terrible and demotivates me like hell.


Hi there, I think you should learn the breathing exercise for relaxing (check youtube), it will help you to calm down and think clearly. Failing is part of life and we learn from our mistakes so don't feel too bad or dwell too much on it. It doesn't matter if you fail or get humiliated what matters is how you handle it. Whatever happens, it's not the end of your life, you get up and try again. Just breath, relax and do your best.
Hope this helps
Leave it behind and stay calm bwana

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