Hi there!
I know exactly how you feel with all of this, trust me. I have anxiety, I struggle badly with change, I cried almost every day before I had to leave home and couldn't stop thinking about how much I would miss my family, my home and my country (I'm an international student). And honestly? When I got here, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I spent time either meeting new people, going to classes, doing work or hanging out with the friends I made. There's lots of great things! You're surrounded by friends, can leave and come back whenever you life, have lots of freedom and lots of adventures.
I took a gap year before coming here. I didn't mean to take the gap year, what happened was that I went to a uni after secondary school and I hated it. I cried almost all the time, I wasn't settled, I didn't adjust to everything new around me at all. And looking back now, I realize it was because I wasn't ready. I rushed into my decision and I wasn't matured or aware enough to accept that new chapter in my life, so I ended up dropping out and taking the gap year.
And I have no regrets. When I came the second time (and the first time I was home, the second time I moved countries) I didn't cry constantly, didn't always feel upset, and was more mature and emotionally-level headed to accept and deal with my new life. You're already in a better state than I was, I was completely indifferent about my course, and you love yours! That will help a lot if you like what you do.
When I was in form 6, I could never imagine I would have been able to leave home and study somewhere else. We don't think about it, but as time passes, we grow and mature. I'm sure when you were 9 years old you couldn't imagine yourself being a secondary school student, but when that time came for you to go to a higher school, you grew from being and thinking as a 9 year old and it wasn't as scary as it seemed back then.
6 months is a lot of time, and how you will think after might be completely different from now. The future can be scary but remember, at one point, the present you are in now was the scary future to your past self. If you need to cry then cry, if you need to air your worries to your family then do it, and as that 6 months passes you're slowly climbing up the tall mountain to university. At the end of the 6 months, it won't be a scary mountain, it will simply be one step more. It will get better and you will grow without realising it. My mom loves to remind me how much I cried to come to England and it's because I'm so settled and well-adjusted now. So trust me, it does get better.
If you do go and after a while still feel like this, then I would advise you look into your options for taking a gap year. Don't worry about watching your friends get on, being settled and happy with your life is much more important than doing what everyone else is doing. Your future self will thank you for not sacrificing your happiness for something that miniscule. But honestly, with 6 months to go (that's a very long time), I have full confidence that when your university time comes, you'll be ready. You will probably still cry and miss home, but you'll be ready.
Best of luck with uni, I know you're going to be great. If you have any more concerns, or just want to talk some more, I'm happy to reply.
Jade
Official University of Southampton Rep