Lonely at uni

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Reply 1

black tea

19

Then join societies and make friends

Reply 2

LsDad

21

In life most of us don't have many REAL friends you can depend on. Lots of acquaintances you can make along the way but real dependable friends, one if lucky...

You just need to join a few clubs and get chatting to others, that's all you can do, Try and make connections with others with similar interests and go from there.

Never be scared to go home, your family love you and would be devastated if they thought that you couldn't go home due to friend issues. Loads and Loads of students are in the exact same position, what with covid remote learning and smaller group sizes etc its made it really hard for students to make connections and new friendship groups. You are not the only one in this position,

Good Luck

Reply 3

Coventry University Student Ambassadors

Official Rep

17

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this.

I was wondering whether you are a part of any societies? They are a really good way to make friends and you can join them at any point in the year usually. These are good if you are a social person and they have a wide variety to cater to everybody's taste.

Also, I wouldn't be afraid to go home - sometimes it is nice to have some familiarity, just to be home with your family etc. or even just familiar surroundings.

Birmingham always has a lot of activities going on, and see if they have refresher events as they're good for meeting people. There are a few unis in Birmingham so plenty of other students to meet.

It's only your first year still and it can take a little while to make friends, don't let it dishearten you and you will be fine, just keep doing your best.

I hope this helps and good luck with everything,
Sara
Student Rep for Coventry University

Reply 4

University of Bradford

Official Rep

18

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hey!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely at university, even those most sociable can still feel lonely and find it difficult to make friends at times! I am glad to hear you see someone on a regular basis though, are you on the same course? :smile:

I would definitely recommend joining a club or society so that way you're around people with similar interests to you, and it can help make conversation that bit easier. Or you could look at volunteering, finding part-time work on campus or becoming a student ambassador - all fab ways of meeting new people.

Even at home you could join some clubs or activities? I found the blogging community online a very welcoming space to chat to people.

I wish you the very best of luck with the rest of your university journey.

Becky

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hopefully you'll make some great friends soon

Reply 6

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

15

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hi there!

Are you in any societies? They're a great way to meet people with a shared interest (doesn't even matter if you're not good at it) and there's usually something for everyone (sports, dance, art, clubbing). It can help you get back to being more social and it's pretty easy to make plans if you're in a society, since many arrange socials and nights out. If the one person you see regularly has a friend group, you can also maybe try going to group hangouts with them?

It's understandable feeling worried but honestly, first year is usually so fast paced with always meeting new people and always having something new to experience that most people don't develop close friendships or a solid friend group until your second or third year. So you have a lot of time to become close with people you may already be acquainted with, like coursemates. And while you will be living alone next year, you can always meet the people in the studios on your floor! Most people choose studios to have their own space and not worry about messy flatmates rather than wanting to be alone, so chances are if you put yourself out there and go knocking on doors, they will be happy for a friendly face and to have some company.

I hope you feel more settled and find more opportunities to make friends. Good luck with the rest of your programme and if you have any more concerns, I'd be happy to answer them!

Jade :smile:

Official University of Southampton Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way at Aston. And it's a shame that there's no secret formula to making friends. Good flatmates are always a hit or miss as well, but I don't think that should put you off staying in a flat next year. Who knows, you might have a lovely set of flatmates next year. Staying in a studio flat can be very lonely and isolating, I've stayed in one for a few years now so I would know.

I took some time to find my feet in university as well, and I pretty much only started making friends in my second year. That was because I decided to join a few societies and even created one with someone I met in the comment section on Facebook (we are now really good friends). This is to say that there is no typical way of meeting people and making friends, but the Student union is there to foster student relationships through societies and clubs. It'll give you an opportunity to make friends with people, and being a part of a society or club means you already have similar interests so it will be that much easier. Have you tried striking up a conversation with random coursemates? if you haven't, try that and see how it goes. I took French in my first year as well and, if I remember correctly, the teaching was in a small group and I was able to meet some people there who I became friendly with.

Does your one friend have other friends? meeting them might also be a good opportunity to make friends. I could give you a million and one suggestion on how to meet people but it is up to what you're comfortable with and if you would like to put yourself out there.

If you ever feel like you're struggling though, don't feel like you can't speak out; to your family, to your personal tutor, to your friend, to a counsellor. Loneliness is very hard to deal with, and you're very brave for coming on here to speak about it. It is especially hard for university students who have moved away from home. I can only hope that my advice has been helpful in some way and that you never stop trying to battle the loneliness.

If this has not been helpful and you feel like you need more support please let me know, I have been there before just as you have and I am here to help.

*Ethel

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 8

The University of Law Students

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hi,
Sorry to hear you feel this way. you could always try join some societies and clubs to meet like minded people. If you don't already have a job and are able to get one near to your uni you could try find a job where its likely other students are employed and make friends that way. The best thing to do is go out of your comfort zone a little and put yourself out there.

Kasey - ULaw Student Ambassador.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

I understand what your saying , I’m in the same situation and the same uni it’s difficult to make friends here. What’s ur Snapchat?

Original post by Anonymous

I am a 1st year student at Aston Uni, studying Business and French. I am a very social person but have recently realised that I don't have many friends. There is 1 person that I see on a regular basis but other than that, nobody. I don't get on well with my flatmates and will be living in a studio flat next year (in different halls). I am also scared to go home, as I don't really have friends there. - Quite the conundrum.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to read this but want to reassure you that I was also in a similar position after my first year. Now graduating, i can say that it does get easier with time. Here are some of my tips in a recent blog with how I met more people (not jsut societies). I hope that helps!

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep

Lonely at uni

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