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AITA for ruining my engagement?

I (26, female) was in relationship with my now ex (28, male) for a year. Our relationship consisted only spending time with his 35 other friends and mostly hung outside in the cold drinking nonstop. Whenever we made plans to do something together, his best friend would always come with him. I would ask one of my girl friends to come as I did not want his best friend to be a third wheel. At one point, I lost and started to throw tantrum about not spending time alone. He just brushed it off and said that I was being a drama queen. One day one of his friends started to mock me and my ex did not do anything to stop or defend me. I felt so lonely and I left that area. The guy who mocked me invited everyone except for me and his response was I was being a drama queen and that he didn’t want me to be his party if I cause drama. I told my ex not to go to the party if his friend is disrespecting me but then told him to go. However, my ex didn’t go and went to see someone else.
Soon after we went on holiday to Portugal which again was with his friends and the whole holiday consisted of drinking and party non stop and ended up drinking 30 bottle of spirits in 5 days between 9 of us. At one point I confronted my ex and he said that we’re on a friends holiday and not on a couples holiday and that he cannot spend time with me alone. After the holiday, me and my ex kept on arguing non stop about how I made a scene and made everyone uncomfortable.
We got engaged and everything went smoothly but we had another holiday to Majorca. 3 days before the holiday I got severally sick and could not go. I asked my ex stay back as I had no one to look after me and he said that he will think about it. However, he left to Majorca and said that it’s his best friends birthday and he has to go. I got very upset and said if couldn’t be there for me when I’m sick. How can I trust you in the future when we have kids. He got furious and then ignored me entirely. I then compromised and asked him to come back for our anniversary. However, he got persuaded by his friends and stayed in Majorca. During the week my friends came and looked after me because at one point I couldn’t breathe properly and needed help. One week after the holiday, he comes to my house and breaks up with me saying that I ruined his holiday and that we’re not compatible as well as being open. He then proceeded that he gave me 3 chances (which he never said to me directly). I immediately told him off and said that I gave him plenty of chances and that I openly confront people if the person has offended me.
Now all of his friends have been calling me a psychopath and that I’m the reason for the break up. His best friend has ruined a lot of my friendships and stated that he will expose me as a liar.
AITA?

Reply 1

Muttly

It really doesn't matter what anyone says. In all relationship break ups, it's 'he said she said' and everyone gets a version that someone wants someone else to believe.

You were unsuited to each other. It doesn't matter about reasons or of any recriminations. You had expectations of him that weren't met and he had expectations of the relationship being more relaxed that you perhaps wanted.

You are better off apart, better off finding new people to share life with. By sounds this relationship was only ever going to be one of arguments and recriminations, which is not a healthy or happy place to be going forward. The relationship crashed on the rocks which probably was a good thing, it frees you to find someone who shares your outlook on life. Ignore all gossip, it will soon pass and your relationship woes will be history. People will be bored of it.

Let him go, and start again. Hopefully in the time ahead you will find your real soul mate.

Reply 2

SagaciousSag

You weren't meant for each other, as you don't have the same priorities. Never wanting to spend time alone does sound concerning. Also, that best friend seems off. Tell your friends your perspective of events if they want to end their friendships with you, and be grateful the relationship is over if this is how it has ended. It'll eventually be a thing of the past.