The Student Room Group

Asking out a professor

Hi everyone,

I am at uni and I asked my professor to dine out with me after having met with him at his office and discussing about our interests but he politely said that we could meet in his office to move on with the conversation. What does this mean? Why didn’t he just turn down meeting with me at all?

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Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,

I am at uni and I asked my professor to dine out with me after having met with him at his office and discussing about our interests but he politely said that we could meet in his office to move on with the conversation. What does this mean? Why didn’t he just turn down meeting with me at all?

Generally speaking, April Fool's Jokes need to be deployed before midday.
Reply 2
Original post by Reality Check
Generally speaking, April Fool's Jokes need to be deployed before midday.

It’s not a joke! I know many people would judge my deed but what if I really liked him?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,

I am at uni and I asked my professor to dine out with me after having met with him at his office and discussing about our interests but he politely said that we could meet in his office to move on with the conversation. What does this mean? Why didn’t he just turn down meeting with me at all?

Sounds like hes not interested in a date, so just keep things professional.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s not a joke! I know many people would judge my deed but what if I really liked him?

are you an undergraduate student ? there would be a large age difference between you if so.
Reply 5
Original post by the bear
are you an undergraduate student ? there would be a large age difference between you if so.

I am but he’s only like 8 years older...
Reply 6
Original post by Ghostlady
Sounds like hes not interested in a date, so just keep things professional.

After that I also gave him a book which he accepted...
Original post by Anonymous
I am but he’s only like 8 years older...

" Very few people become Full Professors before the age of 40; the average age of Full Professors is 55 and the average age when tenure is granted is at 39" according to the internet....

so perhaps you are a mature student ?
Original post by Anonymous
I am but he’s only like 8 years older...

Sometimes newly qualified teachers can be only four or five years older than their A level students. Do you therefore think it's OK for these teachers to go on dates with their students 'because they're really close in age'?
Reply 9
Original post by the bear
" Very few people become Full Professors before the age of 40; the average age of Full Professors is 55 and the average age when tenure is granted is at 39" according to the internet....

so perhaps you are a mature student ?

No I am not. I don’t think that’s true because he is only 30 or so.
Is this another episode of “what is he thinking?”
Original post by Admit-One
Is this another episode of “what is he thinking?”

I think it is...
Original post by Admit-One
Is this another episode of “what is he thinking in the figment of my imagination?”


Corrected :smile:
Reply 13
relatable content ngl. There's just something about professors aye?

Why would you ask them out in the middle of the academic year? Just wait until graduation like the rest of us.
Original post by the bear
" Very few people become Full Professors before the age of 40; the average age of Full Professors is 55 and the average age when tenure is granted is at 39" according to


Original post by Anonymous
No I am not. I don’t think that’s true because he is only 30 or so.

Are you sure he is a prof? Or a lecturer? Most people don’t get their PhD until they are 25 or older, it’s unlikely they would do a post-doc, get a lectureship and be promoted to prof in 5 years.
Original post by TFEU
relatable content ngl. There's just something about professors aye?

Why would you ask them out in the middle of the academic year? Just wait until graduation like the rest of us.


Well that’s encouraging! I’m not the only one who fell for one am I?
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
Well that’s encouraging! I’m not the only one who fell for one am I?

Ofc you are not an anomaly. It's one of the cliché-ist clichés.

I wouldn't describe any form of empathy from me as 'encouraging' tho. I'm hardly known for making good decisions.
Universities usually have a lot of regulations about (not) dating students, and even aside from that can cast a shadow on academic career aspirations, so I'm not surprised he is disinterested, even assuming he is single, attracted to your gender, and attracted to you specifically - none of which may be true anyway. Move on, find someone who is a better fit.
Original post by TFEU
Ofc you are not an anomaly. It's one of the cliché-ist clichés.

I wouldn't describe any form of empathy from me as 'encouraging' tho. I'm hardly known for making good decisions.


Yes! I understand what you’re saying... I’d love to chat more about it privately but I’m not allowed until three days after I joined. It’s good to share feelings about similar issues sometimes! My case is very difficult...
I love that he outright said let's meet in my office for some filthy sex and a couple people think he turned her down.
(edited 2 years ago)

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