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When did you feel like you've "matured enough" for your first relationship?

I have always got mixed info about when guys usually start feeling comfortable enough and know enough about how the world works, that they can actually get out there and get themselves into a relationship. I remember back in school guys were already getting into relationships at around 14-15, and by around 17 it was already the norm. While no one really understood why I said that I felt that only at around 17 or later I will start looking out for one myself. I know that everyone is different and feels ready at a different time, and also learns how to get into a relationship at a different time, but I'm starting to feel that I'm still nowhere near the point, even though I'm 21 already.So I'm not asking when did you get into your first relationship, but rather when do you think you were mature enough to know how to do it and be in a happy, healthy productive long-term relationship with someone? When do you feel you've learnt everything you had to about the world to know how to find someone, get to know them, ask them out, etc. Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to start looking for a girlfriend. And while I do know that there are people even older than me who haven't been in relationships, I've always wondered how much that is by choice, and how much it's because they're as incompetent as I am at knowing what to do in such social situations. So when and how did you learn how to do it you felt mature enough to trust yourself to do it correctly?Alternatively, do you feel like your first relationship came up before you knew what you were doing? If so, how did that happen and how did it go?
Varies a lot between different people based on their ambitions and personal circumstances.
I don't believe that it is one specific age or school/college/uni year group.
More when people feel that they are ready for an intimate relationship that may include sex and know that they are able to cope with all the most forseeable consequences of such a relationship.
For me, that was when I was 16.
'Am I mature enough for a relationship?'

Is not a question 99% of people ask themselves imo lol.
Original post by Chicken.M.
'Am I mature enough for a relationship?'

Is not a question 99% of people ask themselves imo lol.

Even if they don't there has to come a point where a person thinks they know what they're doing enough to actually get into a relationship though, right? There comes that point where they know enough about how relationships work that they can actually start looking for one.
Original post by Anonymous
Even if they don't there has to come a point where a person thinks they know what they're doing enough to actually get into a relationship though, right? There comes that point where they know enough about how relationships work that they can actually start looking for one.

You can't know anything about relationships if you've never been in one before lol.

It's more like people reach puberty and start being sexually attracted to other people, then they start trying to flirt with those people. And sometimes it turns into a relationship.
(edited 1 year ago)
If you're waiting until you know everything about the world before you start dating then you're going to die a virgin. Life involves continuous learning all the way until death's door - unless you're ignorant, then you stop learning when you choose to stop listening.

Maturity isn't the correct way to measure this. You can be mature and still be completely insufferable in a relationship. Being a good partner is shaped by your dating experience. No matter whether you start dating at 15 or 25 you're inevitably going to accidentally do something selfish or upset someone at some point - it's unavoidable. But you need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. I've been several peoples first partner in their 20s, and how they handled themselves in certain situations made it obvious I was their first. They were harder to date than people with experience because they just hadn't learned how to behave in a relationship yet. It could be really quite frustrating.

Do yourself (and your future spouse, assuming that's your goal) a favour and get yourself out there. Let yourself make mistakes, learn from them, and by the time 'the one' comes along you'll be an expert.
Original post by 1582
If you're waiting until you know everything about the world before you start dating then you're going to die a virgin. Life involves continuous learning all the way until death's door - unless you're ignorant, then you stop learning when you choose to stop listening.

Maturity isn't the correct way to measure this. You can be mature and still be completely insufferable in a relationship. Being a good partner is shaped by your dating experience. No matter whether you start dating at 15 or 25 you're inevitably going to accidentally do something selfish or upset someone at some point - it's unavoidable. But you need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. I've been several peoples first partner in their 20s, and how they handled themselves in certain situations made it obvious I was their first. They were harder to date than people with experience because they just hadn't learned how to behave in a relationship yet. It could be really quite frustrating.

Do yourself (and your future spouse, assuming that's your goal) a favour and get yourself out there. Let yourself make mistakes, learn from them, and by the time 'the one' comes along you'll be an expert.

I'm not talking about knowledge of everything in the world, rather talking about social knowledge, and dating knowledge: knowing how to actually approach the issue and knowing how to get into a relationshiop.

So as much as I would like to get myself out there, my issue is that I don't have any of that knowledge, so I wouldn't even know where to start. I have been wanting to finally be in a relationship for ages now, but I simply never had a chance to learn what I need to even do to get into one, it's just a complete, cryptic unknown for me so far. So I can't really get the experience to be with "the one" if I don't even have any knowledge on how to get into my first relationship either way.
Original post by Chicken.M.
You can't know anything about relationships if you've never been in one before lol.

It's more like people reach puberty and start being sexually attracted to other people, then they start trying to flirt with those people. And sometimes it turns into a relationship.

But you still have to learn how to do all that right? Flirting and all that, learning how to actually get into a relationship, that isn't some knowledge you just automatically acquire the second puberty hits, right? And while yeah when you're still super young and with no prior experience, it's not as much of a problem because the other person probably doesn't have any experience either, so you're pretty much on the same page. But what if you miss out on that then? Most people my age probably have at least some knowledge in the area which makes it even more difficult to break through.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not talking about knowledge of everything in the world, rather talking about social knowledge, and dating knowledge: knowing how to actually approach the issue and knowing how to get into a relationshiop.

So as much as I would like to get myself out there, my issue is that I don't have any of that knowledge, so I wouldn't even know where to start. I have been wanting to finally be in a relationship for ages now, but I simply never had a chance to learn what I need to even do to get into one, it's just a complete, cryptic unknown for me so far. So I can't really get the experience to be with "the one" if I don't even have any knowledge on how to get into my first relationship either way.

You're overthinking it. You haven't learned these things because you've never been on a date - and you won't ever learn until you just take the plunge and go for it.

Instead of worrying about the relationship part, you first need to find someone you even want to be in a relationship with. Start off with just asking someone out for a drink and seeing how things go from there.
Original post by 1582
You're overthinking it. You haven't learned these things because you've never been on a date - and you won't ever learn until you just take the plunge and go for it.

Instead of worrying about the relationship part, you first need to find someone you even want to be in a relationship with. Start off with just asking someone out for a drink and seeing how things go from there.


Issue is I wouldn't even know how to do that or even start. That's what I meant about having pretty much no knowledge in that area. I always wanted to do it, but again, just don't know how.

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