My parents don't allow me any freedom help please (advice)

I'm in year 12 and I got into the UK in like year 9 I come from Africa. The thing is my parents don't allow any sort of freedom at all :frown:

. The thing is I've never gone out with any of my mates, I've never had a mobile, I'm not allowed to phone anyone or have a girlfriend( even though I have one) and its basically really tough at home. I'm afraid to even talk to them about it because they are very strict, all they want me to do is do well in school but as you can imagine that being at school is the only freedom I get so I tend to play around meaning I don't get to do as well as I could have. Its basically screwed and I don't know what to do because I'm cracking. My mates have never really wondered why I'm not going out with them as they think that I live far away and can't really go out often to see them, but they are starting to figure things out. I'm embarrased to even tell them :frown:

. And now that I've got a girlfriend I'm even more embarrased to tell her, it really hurts me. At school I put on a mask and I'm like the cool social kid but people don't know that I don't have a life. The only thing everyone knows is that I don't have a phone and thats embarrasing enough, and with the whole girlfriend situation aswell I only see her at school, I don't text her or meet her outside of school, I'm surprised she's still even with me :frown:

I'm sorry for the long post but can anyone offer advice on what to do because I feel like im in a prison :frown:

Basically my family is screwed. I post as anonymous cause of embarrasment. Thanks in advance for advice.

Reply 1

LO :)

2

Anonymous

all they want me to do is do well in school but as you can imagine that being at school is the only freedom I get so I tend to play around meaning I don't get to do as well as I could have.

Try talking to them and make them listen. Tell them this above. If they really are concerned about your education then they wont want it being affected and so may give you a bit more freedom. Why is it that your not allowed a mobile?

Reply 2

Raow

Talk to your parents. Tell them everything you've just said because they probably don't know you feel this way if you've never said before. They most likely only want the best for you. Ask for a phone/freedom because, let's face it, you'll be off to uni in a couple of years/getting a job/leaving home so you need to learn some independence now. That should be a wake up call for them. Talk to them, wait a few days for them to mull it over, but don't persistently nag as they can use the "you're too childish" one on you.
Hope all goes well (:

Reply 3

Toxic Tears

12

I agree with the ppl above - talh to them and make the point that very soon you'll have to be independent anyway, so why not give you some freedom now?

Reply 4

speedstacker

3

Anonymous

I'm in year 12 and I got into the UK in like year 9 I come from Africa. The thing is my parents don't allow any sort of freedom at all :frown:

. The thing is I've never gone out with any of my mates, I've never had a mobile, I'm not allowed to phone anyone or have a girlfriend( even though I have one) and its basically really tough at home. I'm afraid to even talk to them about it because they are very strict, all they want me to do is do well in school but as you can imagine that being at school is the only freedom I get so I tend to play around meaning I don't get to do as well as I could have. Its basically screwed and I don't know what to do because I'm cracking. My mates have never really wondered why I'm not going out with them as they think that I live far away and can't really go out often to see them, but they are starting to figure things out. I'm embarrased to even tell them :frown:

. And now that I've got a girlfriend I'm even more embarrased to tell her, it really hurts me. At school I put on a mask and I'm like the cool social kid but people don't know that I don't have a life. The only thing everyone knows is that I don't have a phone and thats embarrasing enough, and with the whole girlfriend situation aswell I only see her at school, I don't text her or meet her outside of school, I'm surprised she's still even with me :frown:

I'm sorry for the long post but can anyone offer advice on what to do because I feel like im in a prison :frown:

Basically my family is screwed. I post as anonymous cause of embarrasment. Thanks in advance for advice.

It's ok anon, i never had a phone until i was 17. I've never gone out with friends until i was 17. My sister is 13 and she's in the similar situation except that she's allow to go out for sports and school activity with her friends.

Im sure your parents want the best for you which is to help you to do well in school so that you'll have a bright future. :smile:

Dont worry about your friends. If they found out, you just have to explain that you respect your parents and you dont go out because you dont want to upset your parents since they wil be unhappy about it. Im sure your friends will respect that.

Reply 5

vortex_199

11

You're in year 12. Bear with it for a couple more years then get the hell away from there. African parents don't always understand when you try to compromise with them.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

So you reckon I should just hang on for a couple more years and get out as soon as I go uni? or should I try talk to them even though I know they'll dismiss me and go in a mood with me as they are very strict. Taling to them I feel is a no go cause it won't get me anywere, they'll only start bringng up past things that I've done wrong that are unrelated to the subject. I don't get a mobile because 'm not allowed to socialise with mates, I feel like a total prisoner at home, I enjoy school more than home, wayyyy more.

Reply 7

Raow

I would still say talk to them. What's the worst that could happen? They get in a strop for a bit? It's worth a try and say that you feel more mature now. They need to let you have some freedom some time so now that you're in sixth form/college it seems logical and fair. Maybe don't ask for a lot at first, have like a trial-type period or something to let them get used to the idea of you being more independent and responsible.

My parents don't allow me any freedom help please (advice)

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