The Student Room Group

Sexual assault + a levels = stress

So it’s a Monday, and I was sexually assaulted on Saturday. I was not able to focus in class today and I just feel so terrible. My as level exams are next week and I really don’t know what to do. I doubt I’m going to get the grades I need, as I really want to go to Oxford - something I’m on track for. I’m just really not in the right headspace and think that this one night has ruined my life. Can someone please help me? I’ve spoken to a teacher about it but don’t know what else I can do
(edited 1 year ago)

Scroll to see replies

have you got your offer from oxford?
Do you have an offer from Oxford? Cos if you do then that's the biggest motivation ever to smash those exams and not care about anything else until they're over!!
Original post by typho.ne
So it’s a Monday, and I was sexually assaulted on Saturday. I was not able to focus in class today and I just feel so terrible. My a level exams are next week and I really don’t know what to do. I doubt I’m going to get the grades I need, as I really want to go to Oxford - something I’m on track for. I’m just really not in the right headspace and think that this one night has ruined my life. Can someone please help me? I’ve spoken to a teacher about it but don’t know what else I can do

I'm so sorry that happened to you. If any DNA or fluids were left on your body or maybe clothes (especially if it was rape), I would say go to the police station and get a swab test done immediately. Time is of the essence, as it works best within 72 hours. Definitely consult your school about it if you feel comfortable. If you have a counsellor, they could help.
Describe your assault! Did you go to the police?
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, it is something which, unfortunately, takes time to heal. Perhaps if you have someone who you can trust to confide in, then I would say give yourself time with them to talk it through or just sit and be comforted and process. Then if they are willing or if there is someone else you could study with then having someone to revise/work with can help keep the focus on the task at hand and take some of the pressure off your will power to keep motivated. Take each day as it comes, if you can’t focus don’t beat yourself up, if you can focus for twenty minutes reward yourself. And remember, there is always next year, it does not have to be now. I’d also say it might be worth disclosing this to Oxford if you feel comfortable doing so as they are often willing to take such traumatic events into account if you don’t make your conditional grades. I wish you luck and hope that you do get the grades you want. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way.
Original post by typho.ne
So it’s a Monday, and I was sexually assaulted on Saturday. I was not able to focus in class today and I just feel so terrible.


Talk to your Head of 6th or similar - email them now.
Original post by typho.ne
So it’s a Monday, and I was sexually assaulted on Saturday. I was not able to focus in class today and I just feel so terrible. My a level exams are next week and I really don’t know what to do. I doubt I’m going to get the grades I need, as I really want to go to Oxford - something I’m on track for. I’m just really not in the right headspace and think that this one night has ruined my life. Can someone please help me? I’ve spoken to a teacher about it but don’t know what else I can do

I'm a bit confused about the timeline here - aren't you in year 12 based on when you were choosing A level subjects?

If so, don't worry about it right now. Your teachers are not going to give you low predictions based on in-school exams that you took a week after a shocking experience like that.
Reply 8
Original post by skylark2
I'm a bit confused about the timeline here - aren't you in year 12 based on when you were choosing A level subjects?

If so, don't worry about it right now. Your teachers are not going to give you low predictions based on in-school exams that you took a week after a shocking experience like that.

I am in year 12, but I’m in Wales so I’ll be taking my as exams, which is what I’ll apply to uni with
Reply 9
Original post by econgirrrl
Do you have an offer from Oxford? Cos if you do then that's the biggest motivation ever to smash those exams and not care about anything else until they're over!!

Sadly I don’t. I’m in year 12 so haven’t applied for any yet, which is something I’m worried about, as the grades from these exams are what I’ll be applying with.
Reply 10
Original post by mariajv_00
have you got your offer from oxford?

Sadly not - I’m in year 12 so haven’t applied yet
Reply 11
Original post by econgirrrl
Do you have an offer from Oxford? Cos if you do then that's the biggest motivation ever to smash those exams and not care about anything else until they're over!!

Sadly not - I’m in year 12 so haven’t applied yet. That’s true though, I’m going to try my hardest to focus on the future and not the past
Not people glossing over the fact you were sexually assaulted, with "did you get into oxford?" - wtf.
Reply 13
Original post by Ludovika
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, it is something which, unfortunately, takes time to heal. Perhaps if you have someone who you can trust to confide in, then I would say give yourself time with them to talk it through or just sit and be comforted and process. Then if they are willing or if there is someone else you could study with then having someone to revise/work with can help keep the focus on the task at hand and take some of the pressure off your will power to keep motivated. Take each day as it comes, if you can’t focus don’t beat yourself up, if you can focus for twenty minutes reward yourself. And remember, there is always next year, it does not have to be now. I’d also say it might be worth disclosing this to Oxford if you feel comfortable doing so as they are often willing to take such traumatic events into account if you don’t make your conditional grades. I wish you luck and hope that you do get the grades you want. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way.

Thank you so much for this reply, it’s very helpful (I’ve screenshotted it and added it as a widget lmao). I’m doing AS at the moment, so haven’t applied, but do you know how I’d go about letting them know when the time comes?
Reply 14
Original post by SagaciousSag
I'm so sorry that happened to you. If any DNA or fluids were left on your body or maybe clothes (especially if it was rape), I would say go to the police station and get a swab test done immediately. Time is of the essence, as it works best within 72 hours. Definitely consult your school about it if you feel comfortable. If you have a counsellor, they could help.

Thankfully a girl came in and stopped him before he could penetrate me (so no fluids or anything) which I am so grateful for, but also why I’m not going to the police - they hardly do anything about serious cases, so they definitely won’t do anything for me
Original post by typho.ne
Thank you so much for this reply, it’s very helpful (I’ve screenshotted it and added it as a widget lmao). I’m doing AS at the moment, so haven’t applied, but do you know how I’d go about letting them know when the time comes?

I haven’t had first hand experience of this but I have heard of a few options, one would be to incorporate it into the reference which is usually written in tandem with you teacher, usually the reference is the chance to tell the universities about anything that couldn’t go in your personal statement as well as for your teacher to sing your praises. You can also contact the admissions team at the college you’re applying for directly, there’s usually an email on the college website. You could just write an email asking to who you would need to speak to regarding extenuating circumstances if you don’t want to send the details in to a general email. I would maybe speak with the teacher who’ll assist you with applying first as they may know someone in the admissions team at Oxford. I hope that helps. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for Oxford for you.

A little story of a friend of mine that might help. His mum died a few months before taking his A2s, he had an offer but ended up too far below the offer to be accepted, they told him to retake in November, he did but still didn’t manage to get enough passes. He then retook the whole of year 13 reapplied for the same course at the same college, was offered the same offer. He got his grades and went to Oxford at his dream college doing his dream course. He was a year late but he made it. He also met his wife there in his 3rd year when she was in her 1st. So, who knows, if he had managed to get in earlier he might never have met her.

So no that no matter what happens always remember that nothing is final or set in stone, there’s always tomorrow and tomorrow can always be the start of something new.
Original post by typho.ne
Thankfully a girl came in and stopped him before he could penetrate me (so no fluids or anything) which I am so grateful for, but also why I’m not going to the police - they hardly do anything about serious cases, so they definitely won’t do anything for me

You should go to the Police - you have a witness. Your referee will have a stronger case to share in a reference [which your teachers write - the above poster is wrong about that].

English students don't have AS grades remember ... is there a entrance exam in your subject?
(edited 1 year ago)
this has to be a troll
Original post by Ludovika
I haven’t had first hand experience of this but I have heard of a few options, one would be to incorporate it into the reference which is usually written in tandem with you teacher, usually the reference is the chance to tell the universities about anything that couldn’t go in your personal statement as well as for your teacher to sing your praises. You can also contact the admissions team at the college you’re applying for directly, there’s usually an email on the college website. You could just write an email asking to who you would need to speak to regarding extenuating circumstances if you don’t want to send the details in to a general email. I would maybe speak with the teacher who’ll assist you with applying first as they may know someone in the admissions team at Oxford. I hope that helps. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for Oxford for you.

The reference is confidential - students don't write it
Original post by Muttley79
The reference is confidential - students don't write it

No but when I had mine done I was able to ask the teacher to incorporate certain things into the reference. It was collaborative in that sense.

Quick Reply