The Student Room Group

How to deal with bullying?

I'm pretty new at my school and a group of girls are bullying me. It's making be dread going in everyday, but the school doesn't deal with it and it seems bullying is common here. What can I do about it? I've told teachers and nothing has happened

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Perhaps ask your parents if you can swap schools. Research some other local good schools and make notes on schools as well. Visit a few of them in person in order to find out more and also take a careful look around in addition. Pay careful and close attention to what you see as you walk around the entire place and try to go in on a normal school day to really see what the recommended school is like. Watch a actual lesson which is going on in a classroom, view displays of pupil artwork and conduct interviews.
Talk to the current head of the school and also speak to pupils etc. Read old inspection reports but remember they do not tell the whole story about the school. Same applies to exam results.
Reply 2
Original post by tinyperson
Perhaps ask your parents if you can swap schools. Research some other local good schools and make notes on schools as well. Visit a few of them in person in order to find out more and also take a careful look around in addition. Pay careful and close attention to what you see as you walk around the entire place and try to go in on a normal school day to really see what the recommended school is like. Watch a actual lesson which is going on in a classroom, view displays of pupil artwork and conduct interviews.
Talk to the current head of the school and also speak to pupils etc. Read old inspection reports but remember they do not tell the whole story about the school. Same applies to exam results.


Original post by Jenny06
I'm pretty new at my school and a group of girls are bullying me. It's making be dread going in everyday, but the school doesn't deal with it and it seems bullying is common here. What can I do about it? I've told teachers and nothing has happened

My parents aren't going to let me change school, I've only been here since September
Im so sorry this is happening to you. If looking at other schools isn't an option for you then I think you should at least ask if you can move classes. Also if you are new , im sure there are many people who want to get to know you and be your friend and once you have a good support group who you trust , then it will make the situation a lot better. If you struggle to make friends just talk about class work and it helps strike a conversation. Other than that keep trying to get your school to do something , tell someone at home and get them to ring in or do something , and just make sure you take care of your mental and physical health - make your goal to be the best version of yourself. These other girls are just insecure and have nothing better to do with themselves. I hope the situation gets better for you because no-one deserves this. Dont let their words hurt you. you know yourself better than anyone else and they have no control over you.
Original post by Jenny06
My parents aren't going to let me change school, I've only been here since September

What is the behaviour or anti-bullying policy?

You cannot be sure nothing has happened - you just haven't seen any impact yet. Go to the Head of Year about this.
Reply 5
Original post by kerry.woollands
Im so sorry this is happening to you. If looking at other schools isn't an option for you then I think you should at least ask if you can move classes. Also if you are new , im sure there are many people who want to get to know you and be your friend and once you have a good support group who you trust , then it will make the situation a lot better. If you struggle to make friends just talk about class work and it helps strike a conversation. Other than that keep trying to get your school to do something , tell someone at home and get them to ring in or do something , and just make sure you take care of your mental and physical health - make your goal to be the best version of yourself. These other girls are just insecure and have nothing better to do with themselves. I hope the situation gets better for you because no-one deserves this. Dont let their words hurt you. you know yourself better than anyone else and they have no control over you.

Thanks, I thought I was making friends but then I fell out with these girls and now because they're popular and they pick on my I don't think anyone does want to be my friend its just made me an easy target and now I've got boys being mean too
Reply 6
Original post by Muttley79
What is the behaviour or anti-bullying policy?

You cannot be sure nothing has happened - you just haven't seen any impact yet. Go to the Head of Year about this.

I don't know what the anti bullying policy is but nothing seems to happen, there was a boy beaten up after school and there were videos on Facebook but the school and the police haven't done anything about out! What do you mean by what is the behaviour? How are they bullying me? There is a long list
Reply 7
Whatever youy do, dont spike their drinks with laxatives :colone:
Seriously though, ignore them, report them,. theyl;l get bored eventually. hopefully anyway.
Its annoying when youre in that situation though, reporting them either backfires or does nothing, going to their parents has the same out come meaning you just have to take it or smack them.
Reply 8
Are they openly bullying you, or just doing it in small ways but quite often (eg. saying stuff about you behind your back/ spreading rumours)? Either way it sounds pretty horrible anyway. I guess just try to avoid them, but if you don’t manage then just ignore them, or give a minimal response. Eventually they will get bored of it and hopefully stop.
Reply 9
Original post by Suskyy
Are they openly bullying you, or just doing it in small ways but quite often (eg. saying stuff about you behind your back/ spreading rumours)? Either way it sounds pretty horrible anyway. I guess just try to avoid them, but if you don’t manage then just ignore them, or give a minimal response. Eventually they will get bored of it and hopefully stop.

I feel like it's pretty open, the girls say a lot of mean stuff, spread lies about me and push into me for no reason. The boys have started unclipped my bra through my shirt which I find really embarrassing
Original post by Jenny06
I don't know what the anti bullying policy is but nothing seems to happen, there was a boy beaten up after school and there were videos on Facebook but the school and the police haven't done anything about out! What do you mean by what is the behaviour? How are they bullying me? There is a long list


The school must have a behaviour policy and an anti bullying policy - look on the website. You cannot be sure that something is not happening behind the scenes about the boy.

Go to your Head of Year and report what is happening.
Reply 11
Original post by Muttley79
The school must have a behaviour policy and an anti bullying policy - look on the website. You cannot be sure that something is not happening behind the scenes about the boy.

Go to your Head of Year and report what is happening.

They have a safeguarding policy, is this the same thing?
It was a group of 6 boys who attacked one boy and the dad is all over Facebook saying nothing is being done. They don't even do anything about people selling drugs so I don't think they will help me. Its so depressing, I don't want it to affect my education
Original post by Jenny06
They have a safeguarding policy, is this the same thing?
It was a group of 6 boys who attacked one boy and the dad is all over Facebook saying nothing is being done. They don't even do anything about people selling drugs so I don't think they will help me. Its so depressing, I don't want it to affect my education

Tne dad is prejudicing the case by posting on FB - he really doesn't know what is going on behind the scenes. It takes months to bring a case to court ...

None of this stops you reporting what is happening - keep a log.
I hate bullies.

Go back to the teachers you reported the bullying to and tell them that the bullying is still going on.
If it doesn't improve within 1 week, escalate it to the head of year / discipline.
Then escalate to the head teacher if it's still not fixed. Then escalate it to the local education authority and your MP.

In the meantime, starting today, tell your parents about it and ask them to fully support you in this.

If you have any lessons with a teacher that you've reported the bullying to, at a random time, put your hand up, stand up and say in a loud voice "I've got something important to say." Then go on to to tell the whole class how you've recently joined the school and you've been the victim of a campaign of bullying. Name the bullies. And say how you've reported it to the teacher and the bullying is still going on. And how you now feel that you can no longer support this teacher by attending their class. And then pick up your things and walk out the class.

Or do some variation of this - where you publicly name and shame the people responsible for your bullying as well as the rubbish teachers that are too soft to stamp out the bullying.

The unclipping your bra is sexual assault. That's a serious crime. There's no reason at all why you should tolerate being a victim of serious crime.

If I were a pupil in your class, I'd consider myself as being at war with these bullies. Because I really hate bullies.
All that it takes for the proliferation of evil is that good people stand by and do nothing.
Really sorry to hear about your experience, hope you get it sorted. I was bullied at school and faced indifference from the teachers etc

- one thing that kept me going was knowing that it wasn't really about me (if that makes sense), the bullies were the ones who were small minded, immature, disliked themselves etc. and I just happened to be there. Thankfully they got bored and moved on

- from having had to deal with this in the workplace as an adult, keeping a log of what happens when (and how it made you felt, a lot of bullying isn't about the visible action of others, but the impact it has on others). And witnesses are really useful too, if you can make sure there are other people around to see anything that happens, that helps you - and having others' around can help dissuade the bullies
Reply 15
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
I hate bullies.

Go back to the teachers you reported the bullying to and tell them that the bullying is still going on.
If it doesn't improve within 1 week, escalate it to the head of year / discipline.
Then escalate to the head teacher if it's still not fixed. Then escalate it to the local education authority and your MP.

In the meantime, starting today, tell your parents about it and ask them to fully support you in this.

If you have any lessons with a teacher that you've reported the bullying to, at a random time, put your hand up, stand up and say in a loud voice "I've got something important to say." Then go on to to tell the whole class how you've recently joined the school and you've been the victim of a campaign of bullying. Name the bullies. And say how you've reported it to the teacher and the bullying is still going on. And how you now feel that you can no longer support this teacher by attending their class. And then pick up your things and walk out the class.

Or do some variation of this - where you publicly name and shame the people responsible for your bullying as well as the rubbish teachers that are too soft to stamp out the bullying.

The unclipping your bra is sexual assault. That's a serious crime. There's no reason at all why you should tolerate being a victim of serious crime.

If I were a pupil in your class, I'd consider myself as being at war with these bullies. Because I really hate bullies.
All that it takes for the proliferation of evil is that good people stand by and do nothing.


It was my head of year that I told first, I will talk to them again but I don't want to get a reputation as a trouble maker and I'm just not confident much will be done because there seems to be a lot of bullying at my school. I wouldn't even know how to contact an MP

I can't just stop a lesson and shout the names of the people bullying me, that will definitely make it worse

Is that really a crime? One boy unclipped my bra and reached up my shirt to try to take it off, but obviously it has straps so he couldn't. Idiot.
I wish you were at my school!
Reply 16
Original post by LittleSkink
Really sorry to hear about your experience, hope you get it sorted. I was bullied at school and faced indifference from the teachers etc

- one thing that kept me going was knowing that it wasn't really about me (if that makes sense), the bullies were the ones who were small minded, immature, disliked themselves etc. and I just happened to be there. Thankfully they got bored and moved on

- from having had to deal with this in the workplace as an adult, keeping a log of what happens when (and how it made you felt, a lot of bullying isn't about the visible action of others, but the impact it has on others). And witnesses are really useful too, if you can make sure there are other people around to see anything that happens, that helps you - and having others' around can help dissuade the bullies

I will keep a log, hopefully that will help. Even if it doesn't writing it down might make me feel better. There have been witnesses but I don't think they will speak out about it because the people bullying my are popular and usually people ignore it or just laugh along
Original post by Jenny06
It was my head of year that I told first, I will talk to them again but I don't want to get a reputation as a trouble maker and I'm just not confident much will be done because there seems to be a lot of bullying at my school. I wouldn't even know how to contact an MP

I can't just stop a lesson and shout the names of the people bullying me, that will definitely make it worse

Is that really a crime? One boy unclipped my bra and reached up my shirt to try to take it off, but obviously it has straps so he couldn't. Idiot.
I wish you were at my school!

Most secondary schools have multiple crimes happening in them every day. They are the most crime ridden hotspots in the country.

The trouble-makers are the bullies. Not you. Righteous indignation is not trouble-making.

The bullies rely on your softness to get away with their crimes and rude behaviour.
I hate the "snitches get stitches" culture.
Are you the girls whos friends wanted her to wear a really short skirt but you didn’t?
Reply 19
Original post by Sohello
Are you the girls whos friends wanted her to wear a really short skirt but you didn’t?

Yea, that's when they started being mean and it just keeps escalating

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