The Student Room Group

Sick of being a virgin

Hi , Ik this is so typical but I’m 17 nearly 18 and my whole friendship group apart from 1 of the girls have all lost their virginity and have sex like it’s normal now . One of my friends had been in a relationship for almost 9 years now & she’ll say to me ‘you don’t need a bf to be happy’ or it’s ok to be a virgin’ but no offence how would she know? She’s been in a relationship for that long so it can’t be that bad. And the only other girl who is a virgin is genuinely so stunning and every guy thinks she’s hot and at least she talks to boys . I don’t think I’m ugly but I’m a bit bigger than the other girls ( tw- I have an Ed & I’ve been losing a lot of weight recently but it’s gonna take me a long time to get to where I want to be ) I’ve kissed multiple guys I used to talk to guys but now I’m not involved with anyone at all .It’s been years since anyones been interested in me . And I deem myself to be much more attractive and even more confident than I was before. My friends r 10x more confident so maybe they outshine me but I feel so pathetic and worthless . And I start to doubt if I even am attractive at all. I’m scared I’ll never be in a relationship or lose my virginity or anything . Idk how to put myself out there , im finishing school and at my job I don’t rlly get a chance to get close with anyone as I’m on my own for most of it . I just feel stuck and like I’m missing out on things other people are doing . All of it makes me feel so ugly and doubt myself . My friend who has the boyfriend is also trying to set my other girlfriends up with 2 of the guys in our group and they’re reciprocated it I mean they’re literally stunning so I don’t blame them but she never tries to set me up with anyone and I’m pretty sure she’s aware of how I’ve never talking to anyone in that way and have no one in that aspect . They’re just doing it for fun too which makes me feel even more shut because I feel like I’m not pretty enough or worth enough of being set up with anyone .
Reply 1
Gurl I wish I've lost my virginity after my 20th, there's not rush.
Just focus on you and on what you wanna do in your future.
Go to the gym, make new friends and love yourself first.
(edited 1 year ago)
Don't worry, there are plenty of attractive single guys in the dating and hookup seas. :smile:
Online and offline.
When you are 18 and start using online dating sites & hookup apps there will be plenty of interest from guys keen to hookup or date you.

For now, try to focus on your health and academic studies.
A positive mindset, strong work ethic, common sense, academic achievement and ambition are often considered very attractive.
Not just in a dating context.
In an employment and friendship context too.
Good luck!
Unfortunately, being a virgin has become some kind of social taboo thanks to historical values and porn. Sex is far from the most important thing in your life - even if it seems that way now -and your life really doesn't change once you've had it.
"I feel like I’m not pretty enough or worth enough" now I don't expect that randoms on a forum with help you change this mindset, so I would recommend using your frustrations as motivation for self improvement. Another really good idea is talking to a therapist, I can sing the benefits if this.
Therapy is for everyone, and any therapist will be 100% willing to listen to anything you have to say.

I wish you the best of luck.

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