Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Why do i feel so scared to be naked with my bf?

I feel so insecure. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months ( he was my best friend for 2 years and liked me the entire time however nothing happened because i was in a long term relationship at that point). Our relationship is great, i really do love him however there's a big issue. My comfortability with being naked.

I have always struggled with negative body image issues, i had an eating disorder when i was younger however i'm now 20, i have a small frame, i have a small ish bum and small ish boobs ( these are my two main insecurities)

This generation seems to admire curvy women so much, this has not helped my insecurities. I'm his type and he prefers smaller woman but there's a voice in my head that tells me that i'm not admirable. I haven't been completely naked with him, we've had sex with the lights off and i just feel so uncomfortable thinking about it however i don't want to feel so restricted by my own doubts and worries? What do i do?

He's super supportive with all this but nothing seems to improve?

Reply 1

stickylikehoney

To me you seem sexually inexperienced. Most women don't have perfect bodies. Having sex isn't about having a perfect body. It's about making love and being confident.

What's more sexy is a women with an OKish bod who is confident and takes control, than an insecure women with a good bod who keeps the lights off

Reply 2

Feastful

Your boyfriend can give you reassurrance, but confidence ultimately comes from within. If you're to defeat the negative feelings within yourself, then you need to develop a positive and proactive attitude about it. Don't put yourself down. You need to make peace with yourself and learn to love yourself. Stay away from things which you know do you no good, such as scrolling through images on social media. Make an effort to compliment yourself about something each day. Eat healthy and focus on eating a quality, nutritious diet. Believe your boyfriend when he tells you that he loves you, likes you and is attracted to you. Your self-esteem won't get any better if you keep on combating the good things away and focusing only on percieved issues.

Other tips: Walk about naked in your room. Get used to be naked more. Spend some time being just casually topless in private with your boyfriend. Open up to your friends about things, you will find that they will be very understanding and supportive. Try putting a night light on in the bedroom when you do it, take things slow.