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clearly not. Im just saying OP could get smart about it
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Muslim girl dating a Christian boy in the US Air Force
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thatsgrape
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#1
Hi,
I know this title is crazy, but I've got some things I'd like to get off my chest.
I met this guy online and have been talking to him every day since we met about 8 months ago. To begin with I really felt like I clicked with him, we get on in a way that I've never really experienced before, despite us coming from completely different worlds. A few months ago he moved to the U.K for his job in the Air Force and we've been meeting nearly every weekend since.
Early on we had a conversation about what our goals are in life, and with both of us coming from religious backgrounds we value marriage and the idea of a family and I explained to him that I won’t date anyone unless I can see a real possibility of a future with them and he said it way the same for him (?), and with that in mind we began dating.
To begin with, he was kind to me, polite and seemed genuinely into me, but the more we spoke and met I could feel him becoming less interested in me. I've known his political views are different to mine, he says he's neutral but some of the things he says sometimes are very much right wing. Which I don't have an issue with - I believe people are entailed to different opinions, as long as they're respectful, but it does make me wonder about how be perceives me - a muslim girl, a daughter of immigrants.
Ever since knowing him I've felt my self esteem lower, he barely compliments me, never remembers any details about me sometimes even forgets to ask about my day. Whenever I bring up an idea I have for a project he discourages me and i cant help but feel like he's judgemental of me. I can feel myself withdrawing and losing confidence. I look to him for approval, I want to make him happy, but I just never can. We met recently and I saw that someone had painted his nail, I asked him about it and he just brushed it off. I'm not sure if that really bothers me because we never really agreed to being in a relationship but it makes me think that maybe he doesn't value our 'relationship' enough to set boundaries with other women.
At this point I feel depressed, I know I deserve better - I want better, I'm tired of his toxic patterns and letting him make me feel insufficient. But I just feel trapped in a cycle of trying to let him go and then him love bombing me telling me how he needs me and he can't let go. And my dumbass falls for it every time. I don't know if i love him, but the idea of dropping him leaves an empty feeling in my chest. I'm in my last year of uni and struggling to cope with his impact on my self esteem and work pressures.
I need some advice. I'm genuinely struggling. Please be kind to me lol I'm at a breaking point.
Thank you
I know this title is crazy, but I've got some things I'd like to get off my chest.
I met this guy online and have been talking to him every day since we met about 8 months ago. To begin with I really felt like I clicked with him, we get on in a way that I've never really experienced before, despite us coming from completely different worlds. A few months ago he moved to the U.K for his job in the Air Force and we've been meeting nearly every weekend since.
Early on we had a conversation about what our goals are in life, and with both of us coming from religious backgrounds we value marriage and the idea of a family and I explained to him that I won’t date anyone unless I can see a real possibility of a future with them and he said it way the same for him (?), and with that in mind we began dating.
To begin with, he was kind to me, polite and seemed genuinely into me, but the more we spoke and met I could feel him becoming less interested in me. I've known his political views are different to mine, he says he's neutral but some of the things he says sometimes are very much right wing. Which I don't have an issue with - I believe people are entailed to different opinions, as long as they're respectful, but it does make me wonder about how be perceives me - a muslim girl, a daughter of immigrants.
Ever since knowing him I've felt my self esteem lower, he barely compliments me, never remembers any details about me sometimes even forgets to ask about my day. Whenever I bring up an idea I have for a project he discourages me and i cant help but feel like he's judgemental of me. I can feel myself withdrawing and losing confidence. I look to him for approval, I want to make him happy, but I just never can. We met recently and I saw that someone had painted his nail, I asked him about it and he just brushed it off. I'm not sure if that really bothers me because we never really agreed to being in a relationship but it makes me think that maybe he doesn't value our 'relationship' enough to set boundaries with other women.
At this point I feel depressed, I know I deserve better - I want better, I'm tired of his toxic patterns and letting him make me feel insufficient. But I just feel trapped in a cycle of trying to let him go and then him love bombing me telling me how he needs me and he can't let go. And my dumbass falls for it every time. I don't know if i love him, but the idea of dropping him leaves an empty feeling in my chest. I'm in my last year of uni and struggling to cope with his impact on my self esteem and work pressures.
I need some advice. I'm genuinely struggling. Please be kind to me lol I'm at a breaking point.
Thank you
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drumdrumdrum
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#2
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#2
Sorry to hear this! Sounds like you've made your mind up though and he's not the right guy. The longer you leave it the harder it will get, rip off the band aid (imo). Good luck!
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username5706823
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#3
thatsgrape
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#4
(Original post by Summer Bird)
Break up with him if he's making you feel **** OP.
Break up with him if he's making you feel **** OP.
I know. It's just tough! But i know what i need to do
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username5706823
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#5
username5706823
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#6
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#6
.Just because OP found a prick doesn't mean that every non-Muslim guys are pricks
.
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thatsgrape
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#7
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
why would a Muslim date someone fighting for Israel?
why would a Muslim date someone fighting for Israel?
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thatsgrape
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#8
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londonmyst
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#9
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#9
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. 
Remember that life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotion on those that don't deserve any.
A positive and mutually beneficial relationship where both people are happy is based upon compatibility, mutual attraction, some shared values and similar lifestyle preferences.
It is better to be alone than be feeling trapped in a negative relationship where you are unhappy and with the wrong person.
Or are frequently being abused by a controlling or toxic individual who only views you as a servant/personal punchbag/possession/source to obtain sex & maybe some domestic comforts/inferior being who he has settled for.
I do understand some of how you feel.
I've been in several interfaith relationships with guys of a variety of backgrounds & beliefs, so has my best friend.
My best friend is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan, I'm lazy catholic.
I support interfaith relationships & marriages but am all too well aware of the potential for abuse and conflict.
My mother was raised in a brutal ultra-traditionalist religious household with a medievalist mindset, centuries of religious endogamy and arranged marriages.
When she came home to tell her family that she had decided to marry an atheist she was almost beaten to death and disinherited.
Good luck!
Remember that life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotion on those that don't deserve any.
A positive and mutually beneficial relationship where both people are happy is based upon compatibility, mutual attraction, some shared values and similar lifestyle preferences.
It is better to be alone than be feeling trapped in a negative relationship where you are unhappy and with the wrong person.
Or are frequently being abused by a controlling or toxic individual who only views you as a servant/personal punchbag/possession/source to obtain sex & maybe some domestic comforts/inferior being who he has settled for.
I do understand some of how you feel.
I've been in several interfaith relationships with guys of a variety of backgrounds & beliefs, so has my best friend.
My best friend is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan, I'm lazy catholic.
I support interfaith relationships & marriages but am all too well aware of the potential for abuse and conflict.
My mother was raised in a brutal ultra-traditionalist religious household with a medievalist mindset, centuries of religious endogamy and arranged marriages.
When she came home to tell her family that she had decided to marry an atheist she was almost beaten to death and disinherited.
Good luck!
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thatsgrape
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#10
Any advice on how to break up in a kind of relationship with a manipulative guy? Tried multiple times this **** just doesnt work
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Allah's_Hijabi
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#11
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#11
(Original post by thatsgrape)
Any advice on how to break up in a kind of relationship with a manipulative guy? Tried multiple times this **** just doesnt work
Any advice on how to break up in a kind of relationship with a manipulative guy? Tried multiple times this **** just doesnt work
delete him
block him
if he tries to contact, request he stops talking to you and screenshot that for evidence
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londonmyst
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
why would a Muslim date someone fighting for Israel?
why would a Muslim date someone fighting for Israel?
Conscription is mandatory by law for all healthy israeli citizens without criminal records of a particular age group that are located within israel and are druzes or have jewish grandparents.
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thatsgrape
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#13
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
OP's bit of stuff is not Israeli, he's not that important
He's one of their american lackies. Just give the land back to the native Americans already and stop fighting for people who look down their noses at you
OP's bit of stuff is not Israeli, he's not that important
He's one of their american lackies. Just give the land back to the native Americans already and stop fighting for people who look down their noses at you
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Allah's_Hijabi
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#14
username5706823
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#15
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#15
(Original post by thatsgrape)
He's Mexican
He's Mexican
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
OP's bit of stuff is not Israeli, he's not that important He's one of their american lackies. Just give the land back to the native Americans already and stop fighting for people who look down their noses at you
OP's bit of stuff is not Israeli, he's not that important
He's one of their american lackies. Just give the land back to the native Americans already and stop fighting for people who look down their noses at you
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
screenshot all the racist **** he says and link it to his number/name/pic
delete him
block him
if he tries to contact, request he stops talking to you and screenshot that for evidence
screenshot all the racist **** he says and link it to his number/name/pic
delete him
block him
if he tries to contact, request he stops talking to you and screenshot that for evidence
I shouldn't laugh but
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Submarine94
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#16
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#16
(Original post by thatsgrape)
Hi,
I know this title is crazy, but I've got some things I'd like to get off my chest.
I met this guy online and have been talking to him every day since we met about 8 months ago. To begin with I really felt like I clicked with him, we get on in a way that I've never really experienced before, despite us coming from completely different worlds. A few months ago he moved to the U.K for his job in the Air Force and we've been meeting nearly every weekend since.
Early on we had a conversation about what our goals are in life, and with both of us coming from religious backgrounds we value marriage and the idea of a family and I explained to him that I won’t date anyone unless I can see a real possibility of a future with them and he said it way the same for him (?), and with that in mind we began dating.
To begin with, he was kind to me, polite and seemed genuinely into me, but the more we spoke and met I could feel him becoming less interested in me. I've known his political views are different to mine, he says he's neutral but some of the things he says sometimes are very much right wing. Which I don't have an issue with - I believe people are entailed to different opinions, as long as they're respectful, but it does make me wonder about how be perceives me - a muslim girl, a daughter of immigrants.
Ever since knowing him I've felt my self esteem lower, he barely compliments me, never remembers any details about me sometimes even forgets to ask about my day. Whenever I bring up an idea I have for a project he discourages me and i cant help but feel like he's judgemental of me. I can feel myself withdrawing and losing confidence. I look to him for approval, I want to make him happy, but I just never can. We met recently and I saw that someone had painted his nail, I asked him about it and he just brushed it off. I'm not sure if that really bothers me because we never really agreed to being in a relationship but it makes me think that maybe he doesn't value our 'relationship' enough to set boundaries with other women.
At this point I feel depressed, I know I deserve better - I want better, I'm tired of his toxic patterns and letting him make me feel insufficient. But I just feel trapped in a cycle of trying to let him go and then him love bombing me telling me how he needs me and he can't let go. And my dumbass falls for it every time. I don't know if i love him, but the idea of dropping him leaves an empty feeling in my chest. I'm in my last year of uni and struggling to cope with his impact on my self esteem and work pressures.
I need some advice. I'm genuinely struggling. Please be kind to me lol I'm at a breaking point.
Thank you
Hi,
I know this title is crazy, but I've got some things I'd like to get off my chest.
I met this guy online and have been talking to him every day since we met about 8 months ago. To begin with I really felt like I clicked with him, we get on in a way that I've never really experienced before, despite us coming from completely different worlds. A few months ago he moved to the U.K for his job in the Air Force and we've been meeting nearly every weekend since.
Early on we had a conversation about what our goals are in life, and with both of us coming from religious backgrounds we value marriage and the idea of a family and I explained to him that I won’t date anyone unless I can see a real possibility of a future with them and he said it way the same for him (?), and with that in mind we began dating.
To begin with, he was kind to me, polite and seemed genuinely into me, but the more we spoke and met I could feel him becoming less interested in me. I've known his political views are different to mine, he says he's neutral but some of the things he says sometimes are very much right wing. Which I don't have an issue with - I believe people are entailed to different opinions, as long as they're respectful, but it does make me wonder about how be perceives me - a muslim girl, a daughter of immigrants.
Ever since knowing him I've felt my self esteem lower, he barely compliments me, never remembers any details about me sometimes even forgets to ask about my day. Whenever I bring up an idea I have for a project he discourages me and i cant help but feel like he's judgemental of me. I can feel myself withdrawing and losing confidence. I look to him for approval, I want to make him happy, but I just never can. We met recently and I saw that someone had painted his nail, I asked him about it and he just brushed it off. I'm not sure if that really bothers me because we never really agreed to being in a relationship but it makes me think that maybe he doesn't value our 'relationship' enough to set boundaries with other women.
At this point I feel depressed, I know I deserve better - I want better, I'm tired of his toxic patterns and letting him make me feel insufficient. But I just feel trapped in a cycle of trying to let him go and then him love bombing me telling me how he needs me and he can't let go. And my dumbass falls for it every time. I don't know if i love him, but the idea of dropping him leaves an empty feeling in my chest. I'm in my last year of uni and struggling to cope with his impact on my self esteem and work pressures.
I need some advice. I'm genuinely struggling. Please be kind to me lol I'm at a breaking point.
Thank you
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username5706823
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
this is no laughing matter, zina is haram n that, but even worse is getting into bed with a zionist and not even one of the important ones
this is no laughing matter, zina is haram n that, but even worse is getting into bed with a zionist and not even one of the important ones
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Allah's_Hijabi
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#18
thatsgrape
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#19
(Original post by Allah's_Hijabi)
this is no laughing matter, zina is haram n that, but even worse is getting into bed with a zionist and not even one of the important ones
this is no laughing matter, zina is haram n that, but even worse is getting into bed with a zionist and not even one of the important ones
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londonmyst
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#20
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#20
(Original post by thatsgrape)
Any advice on how to break up in a kind of relationship with a manipulative guy? Tried multiple times this **** just doesnt work
Any advice on how to break up in a kind of relationship with a manipulative guy? Tried multiple times this **** just doesnt work
"I don't love you any more and know that the two of us are no longer compatible enough to keep dating or even stay in touch as friends.
I hope that you find the right woman soon and will be very happy.
Please do not contact me again or ask anyone else to try to persuade me to change my mind about ending the relationship and cutting all contact with you. I will not change my mind and do not want to be pestered or harassed.
I wish you all the best for the future and want you to know that I will never forget all the memories I have of you and the good times together."
Then immediately shut down all email accounts that he has, block him on social media and turn all your accounts private.
If he tries to get in contact with you again, do not reply and report him for harassment.
The things that you have written about his background strongly give me the impression that he has been lying to you.
About his background, job role and motivativations.
Far too much doesn't ring true nor make any sense.
I'm inclined to suspect that he either has dual-nationality and is trying to conceal it, is from a military family or has links to the diplomatic/intelligence services.
Whichever one, it gives me very nasty vibes.
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