Try to find things that make you laugh. Look at the struggle that goes on in nature just to survive. Watch birds, watch their carry ons. Watch pigeons in groups and their courtship (they are a lot like humans) Find people who are funny, find people who laugh a lot and stick with them. Take every opportunity to laugh. Suddenly you might find the switch in your head has gone from dark to light? Good luck I know it is a long long wait to get the help you have asked for.