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What is really happening?

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Original post by Scotney
I think you are getting a bit of a rough ride on here but I think maybe you could have asked her earlier on if everything was okay or some such comment. What stage of uni are you at?

We are both research postgraduates but in very different programs.
The very last time I talked to her was already in January, when she happened to dine with one of my hallmates in the hall canteen. It was only 2 sentences of exchange & my hallmate made up the rest of the conversation.
Original post by Anonymous
Any sensible men would not ask a potentially unfriendly girl in person about such matter, would they?

Sensible men would, as iit's the only way to get an answer.
Original post by Anonymous
The very last time I talked to her was already in January, when she happened to dine with one of my hallmates in the hall canteen. It was only 2 sentences of exchange & my hallmate made up the rest of the conversation.

I think it is very difficult to know why people act the way they do.But leaving her aside you should start involving yourself in activities and societies at uni involving causes or things you are interested in so you can get to meet some new people with common interests.I am sorry you feel lonely but if you get involved in stuff you will make friends.Your worries about this girl are a symptom not the cause of your unhappiness.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Surnia
Sensible men would, as iit's the only way to get an answer.

She would think I am insane though, so I would rather not do so. I have stayed away from her, tried not to share the same table as her in the hall canteen even if other friends are with her.
Original post by Scotney
I think it is very difficult to know why people act the way they do.But leaving her aside you should start involving yourself in activities and societies at uni involving causes or things you are interested in so you can get to meet some new people with common interests.I am sorry you feel lonely but if you get involved in stuff you will make friends.Your worries about this girl are a symptom not the cause of your unhappiness.


I don't understand I am suddenly shunned by her, I want an answer, I want to know what mistakes I made
Original post by Anonymous
I don't understand I am suddenly shunned by her, I want an answer, I want to know what mistakes I made

You will get speculation on here. The only person that can give you an answer is her.
Original post by Surnia
You will get speculation on here. The only person that can give you an answer is her.

I did nothing wrong:cry:
Original post by Anonymous
I did nothing wrong:cry:

If you did nothing wrong, then it's her fault.
And if it's her fault then she's not the sort of person whom you should care or bother about particularly.

If you want to know, just ask her; if you don't want to ask her, forget what's happened and move on rather than dwell in the past.
Original post by Anonymous
Any sensible men would not ask a potentially unfriendly girl in person about such matter, would they?

Any normal person would have said "did I say something to upset you? If I did, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to and I don't know what it was" at least three months ago.
Original post by skylark2
Any normal person would have said "did I say something to upset you? If I did, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to and I don't know what it was" at least three months ago.

What if it is a result of gossiping?
Original post by Anonymous
What if it is a result of gossiping?

Any normal person would have said "did I say something to upset you? If I did, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to and I don't know what it was" at least three months ago.
Original post by skylark2
Any normal person would have said "did I say something to upset you? If I did, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to and I don't know what it was" at least three months ago.

Because it wasn't significant back then, when I assumed that she was just busy with other affairs.
Original post by Rufus The Red
If you did nothing wrong, then it's her fault.
And if it's her fault then she's not the sort of person whom you should care or bother about particularly.

If you want to know, just ask her; if you don't want to ask her, forget what's happened and move on rather than dwell in the past.

Really hate what's happening, I'd take revenge if I know who is gossiping about me
Original post by Anonymous
Really hate what's happening, I'd take revenge if I know who is gossiping about me

Delightful!

hard to see why this lady wouldn’t want to keep actively in contact with you
Original post by mnot
Delightful!

hard to see why this lady wouldn’t want to keep actively in contact with you

I have never shown any aggressive manner towards her. I am always as silent as a lamb, whenever we sat on the same table with several others, I wasn't the type of person giving my own opinion as I am more of a listener than speaker. If that is what makes people wary of me, I believe it is not my fault. Introversion is not immoral or criminal, is it?
Original post by Anonymous
Really hate what's happening, I'd take revenge if I know who is gossiping about me

Hmm, looks like I wasn’t gaslighting you by inferring that you would antagonise people with “good reasons”.
Original post by Admit-One
Hmm, looks like I wasn’t gaslighting you by inferring that you would antagonise people with “good reasons”.


Who is antagonising who when he spread rumour against someone else? Does he think I need to put up with it even if it cost me interpersonal relationships?
Anyone else out there?
Original post by Anonymous
Who is antagonising who when he spread rumour against someone else? Does he think I need to put up with it even if it cost me interpersonal relationships?

You would be antagonising them in that scenario.

Antagonism doesn’t mean initiating something, it means provoking hostility. If someone crashes into my car and then I scream in their face, then I am antagonising them by escalating things.

I am confused how we’ve gone from “I’m a nice person who someone has decided to stop interacting with for unknown reasons” to “someone is gossiping about me and sabotaging my relationships, which justifies revenge if I find out who is responsible”.

I feel like we’re only getting half the story. Why would rumours or gossip about you need to be the reason?
(edited 1 year ago)

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